M62
why being apprehensive about married men..?
March 14 2011
Comments
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It's the inherent risk of taking on a whole load of crap that isn't involved when rooting a single person. Nobody likes getting involved in a messy emotional tangle.. Nobody like causing grief to other people.... it's stressful, makes people anxious, can be life threatening.... and reaps little or no reward.HugsS
-
RHP User
15 years ago
....plus I am selfish. . If I am enjoying some wonderful sensual times with a man, I dont appreciate him just popping in on his way home, I dont appreciate him looking at his watch knowing he has to go home to the wife, I dont appreciate being left on my own on weekends, I dont appreciate waking up on my own, I dont appreciate eating yet another meal on my own.... . hmmmm, few dont appreciates here....lol maybe I should put this on the "I dont" post.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It's all on their terms and not at all spontaneous
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I choose not to be someone's second choice
-
RHP User
15 years ago
As a couple if we were to involve a extra man we would lean towards a married man. We feel they are safer, as they generally dont have as many partners and wont want to bring anything home. They are hassel free, they wont try to interfer with our realationship, as they have their own they want to maintain and protect. If his wife has refused swinging thats fine, if he has a problem with another guy with his wife or his wife only likes other girls then thats a deal breaker for us.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Originally thought they were safe and in it for NSA Now have learnt there is no such thing with married Married is about them and there non sexual pleasures at home Married get attached which becomes potential for knife weilding wives Married can and will play games for attention Married forget it is a 2way and not prepared to comprimise incase they get caught Married sometimes use as an excuse to leave there wives Married are way to serious and dont know how to have fun Married are a headfuk.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Of both pro's and con's l The worst thing is that thier time is not thier own, they belong to someone else. They often cancel at the last minute...and this can be on their way over....because of family commitments. I try to be patient, I really do and I try to understand that they have familial obligations but the plain truth is that I dont like being second best. Occassionally I like to go out to dinner...cant do that with a married man. Occassionally I like to have them spend the night...cant do that with a married man. Occassionally I have a function that I would like a partner for...cant do that with a married man. I cant even give them a gift that has a physical presence for a special occassion. The time they spend with you is never ever yours alone.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I take a long time to cum, and they don't have the time....plain n simple
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It is hard to torture someone and not leave marks on their body. I prefer to play with guys that I can tie up and abuse, suspend with ropes or run my fingernails over any part of their body. It can be hard explaining to your wife how you got rope burn around your wrists and shoulders and how the horizontal bruises appeared on your butt.On a less kinky basis, it can be hard to hide some things like - the smell of another woman on your body and clothes, the cum/precum stains in your underwear and the change in your demeanor.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Why! I like to feel like number 1 Not seconds! Who wants to be someone elses slops! Not Me! xxx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
All the really hot chicks seem to like it when they come first...or at least feel like they do when you are with them. | Quoting 'irresponsibility'I choose not to be someone's second choice | Quoting 'dontgothere'I take a long time to cum, and they don't have the time....plain n simple
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I'll back that comment dontgothere!!! PMSL in a frustrated kinda way : D~
-
N4November
15 years ago
I have played with one married man (and an absolute gentleman) from here; the difference being that he is in a gueniune open marriage and I chatted to his wife prior to us meeting. In my opinion, 90% of the married men looking to meet women are cheaters. They are deceptive by nature and incredibly selfish - and these are unattractive qualities in either a man or a woman. I've also found them not that great in bed at all!! Perhaps its because they can't be 'open' sexually, they are restricted or closed to broaden their experiences?? Maybe they just don't want to take home any new tricks they've learnt and have the Mrs ask why?!! Just an observation. But it depends what you are looking for. If I just wanted to fuck, well it wouldn't matter what your marital status was. In a swinging situation there is mutual consent between the couple. Outside a swingers environment, I'm not interested in playing with them - they often bring their issues and I hate feeling like the third wheel... but I digress!! lol But having sex with a married man is definitely ok in a swinging situation!! :) For me, it all boils down to that I don't like being lied too. I think its s a basic human emotion that none of us like and most of us would prefer to avoid it - hence why married men are so often overlooked. Just my thoughts anyway.... xx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Perhaps with a sense of respect for the woman you are cheating on, you'll cheat on her, you'll cheat on them.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
married women dont like 2/ two play with men if the partnerof that man is not involved orin the scene.stupid as it seems, too fool around in the swinging scene,married or not women seem to hove some kind of morality about it all. if u ask me its a bit daunting cause if u want to fuck other people while in a solid relationship, u need too put all those things behind u and just do it, and have a good time at it. weather the person involved is married or single. if they dont want to be there they wouldnt, so single ,,,,or married women when it cums too fuking are allways picky.when it suits them.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
If it was a married guy I'd want to know for sure that it wasn't a cheating situation, not a negative hurtful act, not a case of one partner pressuring the other to allow it, etc and to do that i'd have to talk to both of them and get to know enough about their situation to feel ok with it 'cos the last thing I'd ever want to do is fuck with someone else's happiness. So i'd have to put in aaaaallllll that effort for what? To get exactly what I can get with a single guy without the hassle and potential drama? So why would I bother? . There are truckloads of genuine single guys on sites like these, I prefer to keep it simple and meet them instead. It's a more equal exchange for me. . xx Sarah
-
RHP User
15 years ago
good answer guys ,I like how u both think.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Chuzzwozza'I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor. What about open relationships?
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'Chuzzwozza'I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor. What about open relationships? Butting in :D If a person is an an open relationship (and this can usually be confirmed before as the partner will give you the OK to proceed) then it's not cheating.I've knowingly shagged one married guy, with his wife's encouragement! It was just an itch scratching exercise and there was never any chance of any attachment forming there. if I was in the right mood, and a similar opportunity presented, I may well shag another married man. However I have no desire to be a one-on-one FwB/FBV/casual/one-nighter with a married man who is cheating on his partner.I don't care if the marriage is on the rocks, or he's just not getting sexually fulfilled or yadda yadda yadda. If I think his wife would be upset if she found out, then I'm not going to go there.Sure it's his marriage and he's the cheater, but if I'm aware, then I have an ethical duty in this instance, as I do with how I live the rest of my life, to not harm anyone else if I can help it.Of course, your mileage may vary. :)Cheers,Jules
-
RHP User
15 years ago
"My" way of thinking is its disrespectful to the wife/partner, i imagine 70% of these married men are genuinely being abandoned in the bedroom yes ( sadly ) but would they be understanding if they found out their partner has been " satisfying" their needs elsewhere ? and yes i know there are many open marriages and partnerships but most that say they are in one are in it alone ! in there own little head they make it that way.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Whats those statistics? Around half? or is it more will have a extra martial affair during our marrages men and women. Arnt we all sitting on the moral high ground saying ....We would never. But half out there do it! We are so good
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'kuluta' but would they be understanding if they found out their partner has been " satisfying" their needs elsewhere ? I've heard this argument one time too many so I'm sorry to you for making it seem like I'm targeting your response. We all recognise that women are equally capable of cheating and moreover, obviously they do.... so we should all let go of any gender based prejudices from the get go when answering this topic. I can also well imagine some people cheating as payback for their partner's indiscretions and therefore want to get caught... or in the hope of getting caught so that their lover pays them more attention... or perhaps more preverse... wants to be caught because they seek out degradation... or are motivated to bring a relationship into conflict so that it can be brought to an end swiftly.... for gawd knows whatever reason... whether the cheating breaks up the relationship depends entirely on the individuals involved... so hearing this argument... "I wonder if they would understand if the goose did what the gander has been doing".... well, I should think that any adult understands fully well if they find themselves in those circumstances.... I can appreciate that some might be hurting over it.... but forgiveness for cheating is not often something that comes naturally in our society because of the social training we have had which promotes monogamy. Any outcome if you are being forgiving also has to be one that you desire otherwise you wouldn't be motivated to be forgiving and obviously not everyone wants a relationship to continue... so understanding might give way to more discrete motives.... Furthermore not everyone wants to continue a monogamous relationship, so cheating might be the catalyst for a change for the better for them, and not everyone wants to end a relationship for all kinds of reasons that may or may not have anything to do with sex..... So the level of understanding is complicated by all kinds of other motivations.... complications... Let's face facts here.... married people cheating are loaded with all this baggage... and this is why, I think, its better not to even ask for a name, let alone a marital status. :pHugsS
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Why do women have a problem so often about meeting a married man? Because I work all week and only have weekends free which is usually "Family time" for a married man. Is it a society's expectation of monongamy in our sexual relationship since the family structure is based on that type of unit? Probably - What is your wife's expectation of Monogamy and the family structure? Or are you in an open relationship? Is it the emotional problem of wanting to attach/be looked after by "the one" that is right for you? I don't see wanting to be attached or to be looked after by "the one" as a problem - emotional or otherwise...I'm sure your wife wants, needs and expects the same and that's why she married you. Or is it simply the hassle of potentially being "found out" and branded a home wrecker (again a social cliche, but focus on your feeling not the external perception)? Mud sticks, especially for a single woman that has an affair with a married man - external perceptions do affect your feelings - married friends not wanting to socialise with you,work collegues gossiping about you all culminate in feelings of self doubt and a declining level of self confidence...nothing simple about that. And on the other hand - if you prefer a married man why is it so? Is it because of the less complication to face in future - eg he will not want to call back every day and ask you to come clean his apartment :-) To put your life on hold because he may or not may be calling in?, making plans with family and friends then cancelling and having to lie about your reasons - Complicated. Or is it because you're married yourself and would be safer to know that he's going to keep it secret just as much? Unfortunately some men like to brag about their affairs to mates, to be seen as the "big man" around town. Or is it because you prefer someone experienced and someone that is not going to demand a lot (like meet every second night for a quickie) and often? Every second day for a quickie with a single man..yes please...at least there is none of that huge build up waiting for the night that you can finally meet up then be left high and dry with a "can't make it" text at the last moment.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I agree entirely with this as a useful guideline... but the fact remains that people do not necessarily know that they will want to play around at some future stage... they do not necessarily know very much about their sexual desires and inclinations at all at the time when they get married.... so these life concepts are easy to make retrospectively... Just saying.HugsStalky Quoting 'GirlTuesday' If people do not want to be monogamous, they should not get married nor form monogamous relationships. Stay single, play the field, and inform their partners of this choice of lifestyle.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GirlTuesday'And honesty is liberating. We all enter relationships with good intentions and our wants and needs may change along the way. If that happens, perhaps we should at least be honest with our partners and explain this. Let them decide if they want to move forward with you, or move on...I don't want to be with a partner who is not attracted to me in every sense, I want a full relationship (and some of the best sex can be had with that someone special) . a married man isnt yours to have...he cant be there when he is needed or wanted id never do a married man...well not knowingly anyway roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
For me its easy ...Im way to greedy for him to be with someone else
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'Chuzzwozza'I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor. What about open relationships? Completely different. Cheating is a betrayal of your partners trust, while swinging or open relationships indicate huge amounts of trust. Cheating is sneaking around, lying, and not respecting or caring about your partner enough to say no to something that isnt even that hard to say no to. The alternative is something couples do with respect for one another, or even for one another. And if someone cant be trusted by those they supposedly love, how can they be tr usted by anyone?
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I wouldnt knowingly play with a married man...for two reasons mainly.1. Its all on his timetable.2. He's a liar.Why should I bother with him when there are single guys out there?Im not speaking about married men in open relationshipswhere I have spoken to the wife and been given the go ahead.I wouldnt even sleep with a guy who had a girlfriend that didnt know.JMO...BJxxx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
to me ... sex behind the persons back who loves you with another person is the ultimate betrayal .
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe' Why do women have a problem so often about meeting a married man? Because I work all week and only have weekends free which is usually "Family time" for a married man. Is it a society's expectation of monongamy in our sexual relationship since the family structure is based on that type of unit? Probably - What is your wife's expectation of Monogamy and the family structure? Or are you in an open relationship? Is it the emotional problem of wanting to attach/be looked after by "the one" that is right for you? I don't see wanting to be attached or to be looked after by "the one" as a problem - emotional or otherwise...I'm sure your wife wants, needs and expects the same and that's why she married you. Or is it simply the hassle of potentially being "found out" and branded a home wrecker (again a social cliche, but focus on your feeling not the external perception)? Mud sticks, especially for a single woman that has an affair with a married man - external perceptions do affect your feelings - married friends not wanting to socialise with you,work collegues gossiping about you all culminate in feelings of self doubt and a declining level of self confidence...nothing simple about that. And on the other hand - if you prefer a married man why is it so? Is it because of the less complication to face in future - eg he will not want to call back every day and ask you to come clean his apartment :-) To put your life on hold because he may or not may be calling in?, making plans with family and friends then cancelling and having to lie about your reasons - Complicated. Or is it because you're married yourself and would be safer to know that he's going to keep it secret just as much? Unfortunately some men like to brag about their affairs to mates, to be seen as the "big man" around town. Or is it because you prefer someone experienced and someone that is not going to demand a lot (like meet every second night for a quickie) and often? Every second day for a quickie with a single man..yes please...at least there is none of that huge build up waiting for the night that you can finally meet up then be left high and drwy with a "can't make it" text a why get married in the first place if your only going to cheat and hurt the other person ?
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I have mixed feelings based on different angles of experience ... The main points that influence my thinking on this topic are: . * I've been a wife (in a marriage that has been closed and open). It just doesn't sit well with my conscience to be "the other woman". It's a betrayal by both parties in my opinion. . * I think it's fair to say that most women would infinitely prefer ALL of a man, than what he can afford/is able/is free to give her. When you are the other woman, you come second. And whilst it isn't always the intention of the man you are involved with for that to be the case, that is the reality. . * I think unfortunately, trust and honesty are core foundations in any kind of relationship and both are called into sharp focus when it is obvious the married man has neither in his primary relationship. It just makes it awfully hard to assume a relationship that you may have with him will be any different. . I definitely agree with Stalky that hindsight and retrospectivity are beautiful things. We are all a product of our experiences. .
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It doesn't matter whether you have an open relationship or a monogamous one, there is still a level of trust between partners. You can still cheat in an open relationship if you go outside the agreed boundaries.Married guys in open relationships were never a problem for me because we all knew it was for fun only and never going to get serious.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
If your in a marriage and looking for casual relationships with another.What does that say about your marriage and your integrity.Having another relationship behind that persons back you swore to love and who loves you is the ultimate betrayal. Most of us have children and getting caught with another they are the innocent ones that get hurt by that betrayal. Its different when its a couple and they play together.But the married one thats looking for just casual sex and cheating behind their loved ones back is wrong.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Chuzzwozza' I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor. If it's an open relationship where both partners are in agreement and you state your married in your profle then no problems and have fun...but if a guy/girl misrepresents themselves as single or cheats on their wife/husband without their knowledge then I agree with you totally...just not on for all kinds of reasons.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Not into married men, THE END! Dear CD If I had a dying husband, the last thing I would feel like doing is going out fucking at every opportunity. Open relationships are a whole different ball game. I with the girls. I want to be number one and the only one. Although sharing is caring!!! xxx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78' Quoting 'Chuzzwozza'I would imagine its something to do with cheating being a cowardly, two-faced, backstabbing act by those with no loyalty or honor. What about open relationships? Butting in :D If a person is an an open relationship (and this can usually be confirmed before as the partner will give you the OK to proceed) then it's not cheating.I've knowingly shagged one married guy, with his wife's encouragement! It was just an itch scratching exercise and there was never any chance of any attachment forming there. if I was in the right mood, and a similar opportunity presented, I may well shag another married man. However I have no desire to be a one-on-one FwB/FBV/casual/one-nighter with a married man who is cheating on his partner.I don't care if the marriage is on the rocks, or he's just not getting sexually fulfilled or yadda yadda yadda. If I think his wife would be upset if she found out, then I'm not going to go there.Sure it's his marriage and he's the cheater, but if I'm aware, then I have an ethical duty in this instance, as I do with how I live the rest of my life, to not harm anyone else if I can help it.Of course, your mileage may vary. :)Cheers,Jules Agree 100% with you Polar_Bear_Girl
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It's going on every day of the week all over the world and has been for centuries!! RHP and similiar sites would hardly exist if it wasn't. And I know from experience just as many women as men play up on their partners! It's ur life and ur choice. If u do it without permission then accept the consequences if u get caught! Just be up front about it if ur out there looking for casual sex!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
maybe it's also because if you get caught out it's the other woman that cop the crap from the mrs. too much hiding to get out to meets, stories etc simple:)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Cant give me what a single man can. Ditto what Ruby Blossom said.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
His/her problem if they are caught - not mine!!! . For all those against it - if you arent gettig it at home would you look elsewhwre??? honestly????regardless of how you feel about your long term partner??? , And before you ask - yes I have cheated but never been cheated upon....maybe that skews my view , Kisses Focus
-
RHP User
15 years ago
everyone has reasons why they do what they do.... cheating or not it's still the same end result.. pleasure..... we can't judge people by what they do to there partners even if we thinks its wrong... there are many reasons why partners look elsewhereI have also seen the profile of the woman whose husband has cancer so she goes gallavanting off for sex. she has been here a fair while. its the liars that tell u they arnt married or are separated, that piss me off..... true on sloppy 2nds in most cases but what if there isnt a sexual relationship at home then you;re getting 1st demand:) always reasons always different stories as to why ..... have an opinion but don't judge
-
RHP User
15 years ago
We think married is ok as long as we know for sure that it has been cleared by BOTH partners, and no, a "yeah, she's ok with it" does not suffice!! Maybe we should invent a swingers/open relationship license!! LOL We just don't want to play any part in assisting anyone to hurt the one person that they are supposed to love more than life itself!! If they don't love their partner - LEAVE!! If they do love their partner then their relationship should be strong enough for them to talk openly about their need to seek other partners!! If it's not, then there is something wrong...... or..... don't do it?!?! We do respect that some people are in a legitimate situation where both partners are aware and approving and do not paint all with one brush ;-) Although we do generally just assume the worst from "married/attached" single men -sorry :-( DnK xxx
-
singlewood
15 years ago
This is from my perspective, married 26 years and in the last ten very bad scene, i looked over the fence many times (never actually jumped) and now after 5 years of being single and looking back ive worked out why i looked, now this might not be the reason for all married men playing up but i think quite a few will agree...A lot of us get so wrapped up in doing everything to please our partners.. material, sexual, etc and we actually forget about ourselves and believe it or not lose that feeling of our own self worth and attractiveness and confidence, and quite often the look over the fence is to try and prove that we are still attractive to the opposite sex (selfish yes) deliberately hurtful?l not most of the time, stupid? alwayswell thats my thought on the subject let me know how many agree/disagree
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' I take a long time to cum, and they don't have the time....plain n simple Wrong guy then....
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Always a topic to get people flustered - at times amusing to me - other times a little annoyingI think to label anyone you have not met is flawed to start with. Not all married men are dicks - wankers maybe :) No different to i guess to the amount of single folk who rub us up the wrong way at times (scuse pun) I have dated single woman as a single bloke and also experienced disappointment - so should I have avoided dating any single woman as a result?When two kindred spirits meet - then factors such as marital status - age - race - body size etc are surely meaningless - we are all here to experiment - journey to places perhaps never visited - to fill our minds with assumptions about people may cost us the chance of truly living life to the full.Making mistakes is a part of life's journey - makes us only savor the good things in our worlds even moreSo open your minds and hearts to meeting people for who they are - if I had predetermined views on people - i would not have gone near my partner - instead i put myself out there to have a taste of this RHP world and wow people met the most amazing woman who I love madly! anyway - time to climb down from my soap box - have a wonderful day everyonecheersDaz
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'singlewood'A lot of us get so wrapped up in doing everything to please our partners.. material, sexual, etc and we actually forget about ourselves and believe it or not lose that feeling of our own self worth and attractiveness and confidence, and quite often the look over the fence is to try and prove that we are still attractive to the opposite sex (selfish yes) deliberately hurtful?l not most of the time, stupid? alwayswell thats my thought on the subject let me know how many agree/disagree I think that's very thoughtful insight. Married couples do tend to get so wrapped up in their partners that they lose sight of themselves and their own wants and desires... they rely on their partners to make them feel attractive and confident, sometimes they rely on their partners to "make them feel happy" whatever it is, the burden can be significant... and in time they take their relationship and the status quo for granted.... that's possibly why it hurts so badly when the other one cheats.... it's so unexpected.... and that could also be why the other one cheats.... (not because of the hurt.. but because of feeling that your relationship is taken for granted, that nothing will change and not feeling the jollies).... this is why I think it is important that you woo your lover like they will not be there for you tomorrow... that they might be won over by someone else... that they're still on the open market and just because you are married shouldn't mean that they could not be attracted, pursuaded to cheat and fall in love with someone else...... People are'nt the sum total of one relationship, they're individuals who have choices to make... stale relationships can be stale because they're let go rancid by neglect. All the passion that was once there is reduced to a trickle feed like a drip irrigator... well to hell with that! People want to be sprayed with love! We want to have love and affection uncontrollably ejaculated all over us... none of these dribbly long term trickle feeds. :pOf course, circumstances also change a realtionship.... and umpteen other causes have an impact, some of which might be out of the control of either partner... leading to the situation where one lover seeks something more exhilerating and maybe that is found outside the marriage relationship. And then people bang on about divorce! I mean to say, that's insipid. I have no issue with married people per say but I think the marriage constitution needs a little workover to encapsulate and understand these natural human instincts for lust and desire.HugsS
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Great forum thread!! Not sure how I ended up reading it but it's awesome getting all the valid views. Am in an open relationship myself with a twist. We've been through the extremes of swinging, orgies, parties and one nighters but both have a conservative streak keeping us safe and can still count our sexual partners on one hand. After 14 yrs of marriage and 3yrs of playing around in the open we feel much stronger together but now my wife is kind of over it, been there, done that, but she's happy for me to play elsewhere as long as it's not taking any family time and it's safe. How the hell do you explain this!!?? Not impossible when you find the occasional girl that's in the same sort of relationship but they're few and far between.I do agree truth and trust are number one when it comes to saving/having a lasting relationshipI do agree married men often aren't game to broach even the idea of polygamy with their wives and end up LYINGI do agree that getting caught is risky and can end up very bad even for the "innocent" (or not so) partiesI like the idea of a license for open relationships LOL.... add it to the license for becoming a parent!!!I do agree playing with a married man isn't as spontaneous and you don't get that full-on personal attention BUTI don't agree that all married men can't be FUN and just as satisyingI don't agree that married men should be ignored, that's just not open minded!!! (I am biased though)I do agree it's hard to know when the married man is truly in an open relationship.....Any answers?Mike :-)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
thats what im doing wrong im being to honest as i tell everyone that im in a open relationship and can be confirmed by the wife by phone in person or web cam but still get treated like im a cheater which i am not this is my wifes want for me to sleep with other women rich
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Charles_Dickens' Quoting 'TedHunter' Quoting 'dontgothere' I take a long time to cum, and they don't have the time....plain n simple Wrong guy then.... I said the same thing...without spite... But like I said, this was short/cut n dried answer that the OP wanted. If I wanted to elaborate and not sound like an impatient cow I could have. So maybe I should let you know ALL of the reasons that popped into my head when i asked myself the question. . No I have been with more than enough 'capable' men and it has and most likely will always take me a long time to get there but geez who wants to play for 5 mins anyway???? . I do not want to be involved in anyone elses marriage. . Also because I don't want to shut off any feelings I may develop if there is a definate click with this person, and possibly do myself out of a potential relationship (albeit an unforseeable one ATM) . And finally right now it's all about me, not about them filling a hole in their sex life, I'm ready to feel like number one after a very long time. I've bloody well earned it
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'singlewood'This is from my perspective, married 26 years and in the last ten very bad scene, i looked over the fence many times (never actually jumped) and now after 5 years of being single and looking back ive worked out why i looked, now this might not be the reason for all married men playing up but i think quite a few will agree... A lot of us get so wrapped up in doing everything to please our partners.. material, sexual, etc and we actually forget about ourselves and believe it or not lose that feeling of our own self worth and attractiveness and confidence, and quite often the look over the fence is to try and prove that we are still attractive to the opposite sex (selfish yes) deliberately hurtful?l not most of the time, stupid? always well thats my thought on the subject let me know how many agree/disagree Hits the Like button! xFunlovingx
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Have the married/attached "Mans" seperate profile which by the way is far less decieving then having a "Females" -even though SHE is attached profile..as the number 1 friend in your couples profile AND have it written by the wife!!!!Least thats what we think is the answer.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' Have the married/attached "Mans" seperate profile which by the way is far less decieving then having a "Females" -even though SHE is attached profile..as the number 1 friend in your couples profile AND have it written by the wife!!!!Least thats what we think is the answer. :-)Well it makes sense doesn't it that she gives written consent but I lost you on the "Mans" profile, "Couples/profile", "Females" profile order.... I updated mine so it reads "Married" but previously that just closed minds and got blocked replies without even a "no thanks" hence the neutral answer in that part of my profile. I've since met women (on an alternative site due to lack of local profiles here) that wouldn't have met with a married man but have changed their minds on meeting a pretty normal open minded guy like me. Yes, written consent loud and clear would be good but when she's just not interested it kind of upsets our arrangement. I might be wrong.... I'll get back to you! On the other hand I believe there's plenty of women that wouldn't believe it for a minute and probably plenty of guys that would go to that extent just to decieve. Lots to ponder....:-)
-
singlewood
15 years ago
Quoting:Now a view from a Married guyI have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'.I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ?If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon.Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advicBest advice is be HONEST with yourself and your wife non communication is a KILLER of relationships, the most important thing in life is to be happy and you cant be happy if your feeling guilty
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Blah Sloppy seconds no thanks I don't like to share either. Mine all mine lol.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'davej69_4u' I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice. geeze luv I dont envy you although you are sticking with the marriage for certain reasons. I hope your wife awakens some sexual desire. My opinion strictly is that guys need sex, they thrive on it and we wouldnt have them any other way. A couple of things.. Wouldnt it hurt your wife if you cheated? You say you love her? I am not in a position to tell you what to do. You get one chance at life, live it happily. Your story is not uncommon. I don't understand how wives can go without sex. I don't understand how wives would think their man won't stray if there are not getting any in the bedroom. xxx Good luck darling
-
RHP User
15 years ago
to chase down a potential partner we give them any sex ,any way ,10 times a day until we marry or make that comitment, THEN as soon as we have a ring on our finger we think na don't need it now. wtf is wrong there!I find many many women just lose the sex drive after 3 yr of marriage or children ,no matter what the male has done to encourage it..... I'm now against marriage because all the fun goes out of your sex life and ur regular life,make a comitment but live in different places lol (well with most people it does) I'm at an age where I can't get enough at times BUT with regular partners, not just willy nilly..marriage has to be kept alive including sex, too many excuses as to why, kids are around too tired no time period (over used ) it just seems men and women lose it after marriage........sometimes the other partner ,no matter what we do just isnt interested..........i feel like the male in this relationship :) we all have reasons to do what we do to make things better but getting a bit on the side may make us happier but the partner may get suss so be very careful where u tread :)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
you know, and just for kicks,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the other issue is................... if yr missus wont fuck you, why would I want to? haha GL
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks all for your opinions. Being married and "cheating" as some say there is little I can do or say to those that want to be "the only one" or "number one" and have the man "all to themselves". My idea of an ideal partner on a site like rhp or others is someone in the same situation - you'd be suprised but in our monogamous society there are also unsatisfied women that would like to be appreciated sexually by someone - and prefer to be the "number two"... as for me I am never going to make any approach on a person that makes it clear that they want to be "the only partner" of anyone they meet... heck, this is not a marriage broking site..?!? We are looking for fun and as consenting adults can have that with whoever we find compatible and appealing to us... The main point here is the one made by those that want to be "number one" - it is first and foremost anout each of us - for me it is about me, for you it is about you... yes, I am getting a huge satisfaction when I can satisfy a woman sexually, that is the point - my satisfaction.. we're both lucky, aren;t we ;-)Good luck to all - and hope you get all the pleasures you're looking for...!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'davej69_4u' I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice. See, that's not having a lover, that's co-habitatiing... like having a flatmate. There are good reasons for co-habitating and really good flatmates are hard to find... so I'm sure she can live with the current status... has she complained about the lack of sex? No. See? There you go. All's good. That's a green light I'd say. :pHugsStalky
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'davej69_4u' I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice. what would you say if you found her on here...have you ever thought that the reason she doesnt have sex with you is because she is getting it somewhere else??? would you be hurt if you found that out??? ...all cheaters male and female all have the same excuses.... but i have noticed on here that the men dont care that the women are attached or married, yet no women wants to sleep with a married or attached man...is that because the women want to know that if it goes further, it can go further and the men just want sex and nothing else so they dont care about her status??? roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'davej69_4u' I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice. what would you say if you found her on here...have you ever thought that the reason she doesnt have sex with you is because she is getting it somewhere else??? would you be hurt if you found that out??? ...all cheaters male and female all have the same excuses.... but i have noticed on here that the men dont care that the women are attached or married, yet no women wants to sleep with a married or attached man...is that because the women want to know that if it goes further, it can go further and the men just want sex and nothing else so they dont care about her status??? roxxy From my point of view my preference would be a mutually satisfying sexual relationship at home. If my wife wants sex she can have it in spades, I am, like most men, always willing and ready to play at home whenever she feels the need, the problem is she does not.! ! ! ! So Yes I would be hurt because she has no reason to go and play away, there is plenty waiting at home. As was mentioned in the previous post from lickrishfairy after a couple of years and a couple of kids the desire seemed to just go away, things that we did pre kids are now strictly No No..and we never were into anything other than good clean fun, nothing even remotely 'kinky'..its once in a while, lights off and a 'quickie', even mutually pleasuring each other orally is off limits. Thank you for your comments which interestingly enough have mainly been supportive or at least understanding of my situation whereas before my post a lot of people seemed anti the married man playing away.... my profile will stay open for now. I look forward to reading more. Have a great weekend everyone
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Charles_Dickens' Quoting 'dontgothere' Quoting 'Charles_Dickens' Quoting 'TedHunter' Quoting 'dontgothere' I take a long time to cum, and they don't have the time....plain n simple Wrong guy then.... I said the same thing...without spite... But like I said, this was short/cut n dried answer that the OP wanted. If I wanted to elaborate and not sound like an impatient cow I could have. So maybe I should let you know ALL of the reasons that popped into my head when i asked myself the question. . No I have been with more than enough 'capable' men and it has and most likely will always take me a long time to get there its the technique honey... but geez who wants to play for 5 mins anyway???? .who said all married and atached men only want play for 5 minutes..,?? I do not want to be involved in anyone elses marriage. .who said all men carry bagage...? Also because I don't want to shut off any feelings I may develop if there is a definate click with this person, and possibly do myself out of a potential relationship (albeit an unforseeable one ATM) .and the man your seeing may develop feelings too......and decide to get serious.... And finally right now it's all about me, not about them filling a hole in their sex life, I'm ready to feel like number one after a very long time. I've bloody well earned it I disagree with this statement....your sounding like my mum..... Because you have blocked me, ....I can't answer you in private.... I have met and played with a few different married ladies, a few times, we played all night.... I think honestly, you are tarring men with the same brush, give them a chance to talk first....play first....we are all different, just like all ladies are different.... But it's evitable many females won't put up with "cheating" while they seem to think it's acceptable to allow other females to "cheat"....on their husbands and partners... I have seen a lot of fems bag men in here in this forum and I must admit many of you have a very much one sided view.... So, I just think many people should keep all their options open.... Life is too short as it is I think..... Sheesh Charles, let's you and I agree that basically You and I will never agree LOL Yes you're blocked, just like me consider the fact that we have an obvious personality clash, it happens ! . No again, its not the technique , all women are different and some take a while some go with a puff of the wind. 5 minutes is obviously a figure of speach to get my point across and not worthy of a dissection as such. . PMSL at sounding like your mother, good one!!! Without knowing me or my history how on earth can you tell me that you disagree, I can tell you right now, I really have earned my time for some fun, and I plan to enjoy it to the fullest. I'm not here to argue with you or anyone else, but on the same note I'm also not going to justify myself to you because my posts don't obviously sit well with your own beliefs. You seem to have this whole Pseudo-Antipathy thing going on with me, and I've gotta say mate.......its starting to get me down
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Charles_Dickens' Quoting 'lovelyduo'Always a topic to get people flustered - at times amusing to me - other times a little annoyingI think to label anyone you have not met is flawed to start with. Not all married men are dicks - wankers maybe :) No different to i guess to the amount of single folk who rub us up the wrong way at times (scuse pun) I have dated single woman as a single bloke and also experienced disappointment - so should I have avoided dating any single woman as a result?When two kindred spirits meet - then factors such as marital status - age - race - body size etc are surely meaningless - we are all here to experiment - journey to places perhaps never visited - to fill our minds with assumptions about people may cost us the chance of truly living life to the full.Making mistakes is a part of life's journey - makes us only savor the good things in our worlds even moreSo open your minds and hearts to meeting people for who they are - if I had predetermined views on people - i would not have gone near my partner - instead i put myself out there to have a taste of this RHP world and wow people met the most amazing woman who I love madly! anyway - time to climb down from my soap box - have a wonderful day everyonecheersDaz Why is this aimed at me..? I did not label anyone .........in fact I did not even write this forum. I am the one that said not to label people. I never said married men were dicks and wankers.... .... .... Did u write this late at night while intoxicated...?? ....LOL...oops - did we aim it at you ???? was meant in support - and aimed at other folk who think married men are the anti christ :) and why does it have to be late at night to be intoxicated ???there you go again ...assuming stuff :) have a great weekend
-
RHP User
15 years ago
As I really dislike the quote function in here ozhomme bare with me..you wrote back to my reply.. "Well it makes sense doesn't it that she gives written consent but I lost you on the "Mans" profile, "Couples/profile", "Females" profile order.... I updated mine so it reads "Married" but previously that just closed minds and got blocked replies without even a "no thanks" hence the neutral answer in that part of my profile. I've since met women (on an alternative site due to lack of local profiles here) that wouldn't have met with a married man but have changed their minds on meeting a pretty normal open minded guy like me. Yes, written consent loud and clear would be good but when she's just not interested it kind of upsets our arrangement. I might be wrong.... I'll get back to you! On the other hand I believe there's plenty of women that wouldn't believe it for a minute and probably plenty of guys that would go to that extent just to decieve. Lots to ponder...." What I meant in your first paragraph was that a lot of married/attached women do the same thing as men i.e putting up a singles female profile even though in a relationship. I think what differentiates them is the fact that most of these type of profiles are after women..so its ok..;) .Some not all are decieving as they want a woman to actually join the female AND her partner. Also they get around paying membership if they get validated and can go in chat rooms as a couple though not paying as having a female profile.Its still a deception isn't it?. We think by having our couples profile which explains what we really after and also having mens so we are exactly upfront. This is basically is giving you an" answer" to your showing that you are genuinly in an open relationship. As for your second paragraph, I thought you said she was ok with you playing.She may not exactly be and then that puts you back in the boat of why a lot of females dont want to play with married men.Mind you how many really believe that a lot of the great looking guys on here dont have girlfriends? If they need to come on here and not head to the nearest bar for a pickup then there's something wrong with them.You can still get caught up in an emotional net on here whether you think you are chatting to single/married anyone on here I reckon.Go forward with the B/S radar switched to high...and have fun!!.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'davej69_4u' Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'davej69_4u' I have been married for over 12 years, for 9 of those the sex has been almost non-existent. I have done everything that I can think of to encourage my wife to 'find' her sex drive again but all to no avail. So now I am considering cheating, note I say considering as I have not yet met up with anyone. Tell me what should a man do who is mid 50's still as horny as he was 20 years ago and has to go 3, 4. 5 weeks between 'encounters'. I truly love my wife and kids but the lack of sex is driving me batty, so I have registered here in the hope of maybe finding someone who is in the same situation and would like to mutually satisfy their desires. I do not plan to tell my wife what I am doing and have no intention of getting into anything that would break our marrage.....Am I really that bad? ? ? If I am maybe I should shut down my profile and suffer in silence. VERY interested to hear other comments, especially the ladies...and based on them my profile may just disapear soon. Thanks, I have found the comments here quite enlightening and hope that some of you ladies will offer some advice. what would you say if you found her on here...have you ever thought that the reason she doesnt have sex with you is because she is getting it somewhere else??? would you be hurt if you found that out??? ...all cheaters male and female all have the same excuses.... but i have noticed on here that the men dont care that the women are attached or married, yet no women wants to sleep with a married or attached man...is that because the women want to know that if it goes further, it can go further and the men just want sex and nothing else so they dont care about her status??? roxxy From my point of view my preference would be a mutually satisfying sexual relationship at home. If my wife wants sex she can have it in spades, I am, like most men, always willing and ready to play at home whenever she feels the need, the problem is she does not.! ! ! ! So Yes I would be hurt because she has no reason to go and play away, there is plenty waiting at home. As was mentioned in the previous post from lickrishfairy after a couple of years and a couple of kids the desire seemed to just go away, things that we did pre kids are now strictly No No..and we never were into anything other than good clean fun, nothing even remotely 'kinky'..its once in a while, lights off and a 'quickie', even mutually pleasuring each other orally is off limits. Thank you for your comments which interestingly enough have mainly been supportive or at least understanding of my situation whereas before my post a lot of people seemed anti the married man playing away.... my profile will stay open for now. I look forward to reading more. Have a great weekend everyone not everyone cheats for a reason...some people male and female just cheat some people will never tolerate cheating for any reason at all...i for one kicked out my partner of 10 years the father of my children for going to the pub and getting some women to suck his dick in the alley behind he spent the next 6 months begging for his family back and no i dint take him back....as far as im concerned he had no reason to cheat, he just did so my advise to you is....think very hard before you do it, some women expectaly get very very nasty when things go bad...if your to blame for everything going bad for your wife and kids and losing your family...can you live with that my ex found it very hard and im a nice person but i still made sure he paid for what he did to my family so be very careful....for the record i dont understand and i dont support what your doing...i think it is crual and a horrid thing to do to the person you supposedly love roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'GirlTuesday'Because I am female and tend to get emotionally attached to people. Therefore I know in my heart that married/attached people are off limits, as I don't want to grow fond of them, hurt another woman, nor get hurt. That doesn't mean that I am judgmental, just that I want simplicity. I agree GirlTuesday. I tired to separate emotion and sex but couldn't do it.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
You only live once and a lot of people (male and female) have sexual needs that need satisfying. If you sign on to a marriage based on a great sex life but then that dwindles to a trickle dished out at the whim of one partner, that's kind of like a sale under false pretences. For want of a better analagy I buy a performance vehicle because I like it to go fast, if breaks down in a heap, do I have to suffer with it, as is for the rest of my days? Not me I go get another one.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Hi there my heart is bleeding for men in marriges without sex..............thats no joke. Please read a book by Bettina Arndt...............maybe give it to your wife and she will understand, maybe. No garanties........................but I have never read such an honest book from theview point of men.........I really was crieng sometimes. Dont give up in your search, to find a woman for sex....................there are some out there who are just looking for sex nothing else.......................just ask and someone will come. Good luck and stay on this site. Ellen
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Love and lust are very different things.........the reason we believe "cheating" is wrong is because the church has been telling us so for centuriesthe church tells us so because they needed to gain control of the popuolus.....and their wealthmonogomy is ownership......all depends where you stand in the equality and feminist line up really.....but then im on my second bottle of champagne.......not sure what my opinion is ...lollet be and love the one your with ......sounds like a reasonable philosophy...well at the moment anyway
-
RHP User
15 years ago
the female wants the male role.....sometimes the female isn't getting it at home no matter what she does to encourage it, then its too late , she seeks it elsewhere, from someone in the same situation, neither are getting any at home so married partners can see others and get what they are missing, it's not all one sidedwomen can be pro active ,one partner may not be able to leave the relationship at a point in time for certain reasons, the other partner still gets along with the the spouse and has children to thin k of, some partners can't leave becausethey will lose to much in a divorce nd she gets spiteful adn says he cant see his own kids which he adores but he still wants more from someone else.this situation can work as long as spouses don't find out.I'm not saying it's right but there are a ll sorts of circumstances for both sexes seeing someone outside the marriage that they connect with , have feelings for,can tell anything to. ON the downside each knows they can't make a comittment at the time if they even ever want to,They can't rely on each other fully, they cant be spontaneous etc etcbut for the time being its what both get full fillment fromnow i retire my soap box lol
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' what would you say if you found her on here...have you ever thought that the reason she doesnt have sex with you is because she is getting it somewhere else??? would you be hurt if you found that out??? ...all cheaters male and female all have the same excuses.... See.. the wonderful thing about relationships is that you can never truly know and in any long term relationship, human nature being what it is, if you are married you're going to have to expect it will happen at some point.... The real question is, do you draw a line in the sand over it.... and then of course if you do... are the consequences of doing so really what you want as the outcome? What I'm really saying is, how do you reconcile it... or rationalise it WHEN it happens to you (if you ever find out)? If you are a husband cheating, I'd like to think, men being the rational beings that we are, that deep down he would think... fair enough. Of course, there would seem to be no need or benefit in admitting that to his wife.. nope.... a guy will decide if he is better off milking the situation for all its worth... or deal with it in whatever way suits his particular circumstances. Maybe he will use it as a catalyst to demolish the relationship... maybe he will use it some other way.... people don't always make these decisions consciously.... but people will always drive relationships in the direction that suits them... even if they do that subconsciously. HugsStalky
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Hi again............ I am following all this comments..................and I am thinking. Really isnt the bottom line we are just not talking in a relatioship, we live beside each other and think the other has to read our mind.........moods and what ever. Also shouldnt we take time out to romance each other again...................life with family is hard we just forget the two most important parts us in it. Women are so different in all this then men...............we just forget sex, even we LOVE it.............. toooooo.........but I think women can turn it off better then men. But talk is the best.................have you men who are in sexless realtionships ever realy set down and talked about it in honesty.............real honesty..............how you feel how urgent it is..............what it does to you...............and and and ................I bet most men have never done it with there partners or wife And you can not talk about this just over the dinnertable you got to make a date with her and then talk and talk and tell the truth................what goes on inside you, your heart, head and penis. I think most women will be shoked about it....., because agin everythink in the media is talking about our sexlive and how you men can make us more happy and we forget men have fellings to. Cheers Ellen
-
RHP User
15 years ago
More great comments, Thanks. TassieRose, I can see that us married guys looking to play away do not have your support, I respect your views and understand where you are coming from, or not as the case may be J I understand GirlTuesday and kitten’s comments, it seems that men are able to easily separate sex from emotion and can enjoy sex purely for fun with out getting emotionally attached. Lickrishfairy is so close it's not funny...Do you know me? ? ? ? J Kids that I adore hold me in the relationship, the thought of only seeing them every whatever period of time would kill me, a wife who is my best mate, unfortunately not my lover, and the financial impact of a divorce at my age make it prohibitive to leave.....and at the end of the day I really don’t want to leave anyway. I guess that my idea of getting on Redhot pie was to find a woman in a similar position, I know some men do lose their sex drive too, that was interested in the occasional meeting for some mutual satisfaction or a single woman that was not at all interested in a relationship but wanted some male company every now and then. I know that some women with high pressure careers sometimes just do not need a man in their life full time. So if anyone is looking for some ‘no strings’ liaisons drop me a note…. J Hope you are all making the most of this wet weekend in Sydney…..for those of us without someone to spend the day in bed with at least we have the F1 GP on TV later today.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
i understand what its like to be in a marriage where you arent getting it...no one loves sex more than i do, iv never turned my partner down apart from period time...i love sex i was married to a man who beat me, abused me and with held sex a lot of the time...so i understand i was with a man that lied to me about the dumbest of shit, had his own life even though he lived with me and our kids...left me home sick and unable to get out of bed with a baby to look after, but he had warhammer to get too...so i get it but not once did cheating ever cross my mind i understand women are dogs....some hold access to kids, take your money and all sorts of horrid things...i understand that...shit some of my friends do that stuff...hell iv done some of it myself but if you love this person and you love your kids and you love the life this person is helping to provide, (and im talking male or female here)...why do you want to hurt them??? most of the women on here have been cheated on by someone at some time...we know how much it hurts and fucks up our lives and our kids lives...thats why we would never do it BUT...one thing i will give you boys credit for...is at least your open and upfront about it, so then the person your trying to have sex with knows before they get into anything because to me thats the most important thing...honesty roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
no I don't know u lol but know someone like you int eh same situation, I like to think on both sides of the party.....I too understand many reasons ,sometimes i think like a man lol... tassie yes many of us have been in horrid situations and like yourself I too have had that non caring partner, my kids have now grown, my libido is a hell of a lot more raised than 18 mths ago, Ive met friends with benefits that have become somewhat a little more than that now but we know where we stand.husbands can talk to wives and vice versa sometimes till they are blue in the face because the only thing the female hears is" u want sex from someone else? " i understand how this hurts but i also think that females are very insecure in relationships, always suss , always nosing around in partners phones, wallets computer, I've never done that because I trust mine but can't say the same about him doing it to me..... wow all our dirty little secrets are coming alive here lolall in all I do what I do because I love it, i get fullfillment from someone else.makes me happier inside the house
-
RHP User
15 years ago
My wife has had viginal problems for years. I had a lover who, she knows and gets on with very well. The problem with my lover was, she was the problem, not me. It was all about her. Like all the possesive responses to this question. She knew I could stay over and could be like a regular couple but she always wanted to go the extra mile. We spent weekends away and the story goes on... My wife as i explained, has no interest in sex. So I will assume the next question...why don't I get a divorce ... Well, why should I. I live with a great friend. And that is what we are, great friends. We finally split up as she wanted to move in with my wife and I. Even single guys would call this bad manners. I am looking for another meaningful and one on one relationship. You will even get to know my wife and stay over and do all the great things regular couples do. So yes I'm married and will have a serious and meaning relationship with someone like minded. At the moment I'm trying to find that person.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I think Lionya has made a number of good points..Married guys who are missing out on sex within the marriage are not all selfish greedy bastards..There are good reasons for keeping a family together and not destroying the financial foundation of that group. Thus complicating matters of ownership and inheritance..If everything else is working within the marriage, except sex, then why destroy the equilibrium?.Obviously if sex is valued above all other things, then the outlook will be different..Not every women will talk openly about issues so that resolution can be reached regarding sex, whilst at the same time not wanting to upset the status quo..Its a sad situation when a husband is denied sex for decades because his wife's libido does not respond to his presence. Regardless of how much he tries..Should he live a life of celibacy? Is he allowed to visit a brothel? Is it really bad if he receives comfort elsewhere?.In a social environment, people hug and kiss and that is acceptable, yet copulating is a terrible sin it would appear..
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Lickrishfairy' the female wants the male role.....sometimes the female isn't getting it at home no matter what she does to encourage it, then its too late , she seeks it elsewhere, from someone in the same situation, neither are getting any at home so married partners can see others and get what they are missing, it's not all one sidedwomen can be pro active ,one partner may not be able to leave the relationship at a point in time for certain reasons, the other partner still gets along with the the spouse and has children to thin k of, some partners can't leave becausethey will lose to much in a divorce nd she gets spiteful adn says he cant see his own kids which he adores but he still wants more from someone else.this situation can work as long as spouses don't find out.I'm not saying it's right but there are a ll sorts of circumstances for both sexes seeing someone outside the marriage that they connect with , have feelings for,can tell anything to. ON the downside each knows they can't make a comittment at the time if they even ever want to,They can't rely on each other fully, they cant be spontaneous etc etcbut for the time being its what both get full fillment fromnow i retire my soap box lol Thank you for getting up on your soapbox as you've hit the nail on the head. Obviously there are cheats who cheat just because they can, but then there are also extenuating circumstances which too often one get judged unfairly on..There isn't one set of circumstances that fits all..Thank you for expressing your opinion here... it is much appreciated.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
eunuch, we have made sex and sexuality such a complicated task, and now we see only two extreems. Good ...............married and sex Bad.................outside a relationship or single and wild sex I really believe when we would start thinking about sex in a nicer way and follow our nature, sex would be for all more enjoyable. No wonder we have need for pornogaraphy because so many things are not allowed.............In my oppinion its all the parents fault and the religion......all of them.....there is none who embraces sex and sexuality in a good way. Sorry, and I say it to all out there..........teach your children sex is beautifull and dont stop speaking openly about this thema, we all do it we all need it and we cant stop it, our bodies are made for sex and sexuality so why deny it. I have only two son's but I am a fucking proud mum to have spoken openly in every respect with my boys. I have no secrets and they do the same. They can say to me...............mum it is time you get laid and I am giggling my head of. Or mum tell me what women want in sex..............I search the net with them so they got the right education and we speak and discuss. Why are we accepting violence so easierly and disgard sex so fast............I really dont get it, and I never will. I believe all this women out there who dont want sex have such a low oppion of their bodies they are hiding, and deny them selfs the most absolut pleasure in life. However as woman you need also to chose well, not every man fits......lol. So I say wrong or right you have to make it up with your concience and this alone is your problem.When you can stay without sex in a marriage where you love your wife then so be it. I couldnt stay, because I am a touchy feeling female and without sex and kissing and cuddles I would shrivel away. Love to you all. Forgive my english gramma, I was a german...............
-
RHP User
15 years ago
I'm married, my wife doesn't know and i fuck around big time. I love it and i will never stop it and every woman i have been with wants me back, so go figure. Dirty, lying cheating bastard, that is me. And spare me the moralising, I'm a big swinging dick that loves pussy and I will take it any way I can.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' However as woman you need also to chose well, not every man fits......lol. So I say wrong or right you have to make it up with your concience and this alone is your problem.When you can stay without sex in a marriage where you love your wife then so be it. I couldnt stay, because I am a touchy feeling female and without sex and kissing and cuddles I would shrivel away.. .Must agree with many of your points Litonya….We should all be thankful that touchy feeling women who love sex, kissing and cuddles exist..For it's interesting to learn the various inhibitions other people have..Not everyone is openly affectionate..Some cringe at the prospects of being seen to hug or kiss in public… and that is just the simple social greeting..Some will not accept anything other than the missionary position and consider anything else warped. They even go so far as to not participate in the lovemaking, other than to lay back and receive..Expect that much of this lack of passion relates to attitudes and upbringing..So many people reached adulthood from my era without their parents mentioning sex, it all had to be learnt elsewhere, with the situation made worse by an insistence on NO sex until married..They are often so tense that penetration is difficult even after much foreplay. Complicated more so by an aversion to artificial lubricants and toys. Its as if they have been instructed that sex is an ordeal to endure for the sake of children and pleasure is not part of the equation..This apparent repulsion with sex may also be a factor in lovemaking ceasing after childbirth..It is also unfortunate when an inhibited partner refuses to seek guidance or counselling. Particularly when they are horrified at the prospects of sharing such intimate information with professionals..Though an inhibited person can still have many redeeming qualities that are not associated with sex. It does not make them a bad person..Yet on the other hand, it is so liberating to share time with a person who is free of these constraints. A person willing to experiment to the hilt and experiences no shame in doing so..Do think it is harsh that people be so judgemental of others, when their needs are being met. Obviously it is the prerogative of each person to decide who and what suits them, but they should not force their value judgements on others without infinite knowledge and wisdom of what those less fortunate are experiencing..I expect those who have had multiple partners or marriages, a series of bad relationships, encountered abuse, etc, to see things in a different light, particularly when they have dealt with people who have let them down..There are good and bad people in the world, which is not necessarily related to their sexual prowess.. Sexual incompatibility is an unfortunate thing that better education and a freedom from archaic religious dogma can hopefully alleviate in the future..How much better the world would be if people were freed from such unnatural constraints, and damn the moralists who want things to be otherwise..
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'I'm married, my wife doesn't know and i fuck around big time. I love it and i will never stop it and every woman i have been with wants me back, so go figure. Dirty, lying cheating bastard, that is me. And spare me the moralising, I'm a big swinging dick that loves pussy and I will take it any way I can. There's always gotta be one !!!! Mate you sound like the catch of the century unless of course you prefer footy then that would probably make you one of those hefty 'half back flankers'
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'I'm married, my wife doesn't know and i fuck around big time. I love it and i will never stop it and every woman i have been with wants me back, so go figure. Dirty, lying cheating bastard, that is me. And spare me the moralising, I'm a big swinging dick that loves pussy and I will take it any way I can. can i just say...i hope she finds out and chops your cock off with a butter knife see its men like this one that dont have a reason and are just doing it for the ego trip...that turn women off married men roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'I'm married, my wife doesn't know and i fuck around big time. I love it and i will never stop it and every woman i have been with wants me back, so go figure. Dirty, lying cheating bastard, that is me. And spare me the moralising, I'm a big swinging dick that loves pussy and I will take it any way I can. can i just say...i hope she finds out and chops your cock off with a butter knife see its men like this one that dont have a reason and are just doing it for the ego trip...that turn women off married men roxxy If you do Roxxy, at least it was for a worthy cause LOL. He should have read the label first before opening the can that said 'Whoop ass' in small print
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'I'm married, my wife doesn't know and i fuck around big time. I love it and i will never stop it and every woman i have been with wants me back, so go figure. Dirty, lying cheating bastard, that is me. And spare me the moralising, I'm a big swinging dick that loves pussy and I will take it any way I can. So I reckon that this bloke is single, never even seen a wonam naked, let alone slept with one, and has posted this as no more than a wind up.... And not all married men are like that, even though I am looking to 'play away' I dont have a big swinging dick, in fact I am quite normally hung.....
-
RHP User
15 years ago
he is just having a go to stir us girls as well.... if not then im with roxxy:)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
If it is just about sex... just NSA one off whatever than I have no problem if a guy is married so long as his wife wants to play too. If she doesn't then I would question whether she even knows about it and is okay with it. I don't want to be the 3rd party when someone cheats. I've seen too many of my friends be hurt when their partner has decieved them in this way and I would never sleep around when I'm in a relationship. The only time I ever have was with my girlfriend at the time and my ex girlfriend. The two of them set it up between them for the 3 of us to have a 3some. At the time I enjoyed myself but even though it was all open my previous girlfriend felt guilty afterwards and it ruined our friendship and as a result ended up ruining my relationship as well. It's just not worth it.
-
N4November
15 years ago
dammit, I am somewhat impressed you said it how it is for you. If you are telling the women you play with from getgo that you are married blah blah blah - well then you are to be commended. The woman then gets to choose if she wants to continue any type of relationship with you. What I detest is those men/women who are deceptive to every person in their life because their wants and needs are paramount. That they have to lie and cheat to get someone into bed with them is sooooooooo unattractive!
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Lop my dick off? I don't think so. Too valuable to the good women who use it. And yeah, I tell every woman I sleep with I'm married. And guess what, some walk and some use it as an aphrodisiac. Something about putting one over and the fucked-up morality of it I guess. So, all you S&M dom type bunnies out there, you are fooling yourself you walk on the dark side. This is where it is at baby, the moral badlands. And aint it good.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Dunno, im kind of in a dilemma, on the one hand we have some women saying how they cant get a root............ and then we have an honest man saying he'll fuck anything and happily.... whinging women in need or a happy satisfied man, which one do I wanna know??? and then we got the whinging women that can only get a married man and still whinge lol tough choice
-
RHP User
15 years ago
What did he say...............to much bullshit here? Who is talking bullshit? He would, I think he would shit his pants when his wife finds out he is cheating on her big time. Or someone who would never ever allow his wife to cheat on him...................Oh no he is a big fuck..........wow.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
It is very true that the worst is assumed of married men (and women) when it comes to sexual relationships - and in my opinion this just leads to missing out on a lot of fun! I've met up with married men from both sides of the fence - those where the partner knows and when the partner doesn't know - and although those circumstances were different it made no difference to me in how my interactions were conducted with the person. Because from the outset there was the clear expectation of what both people were entering into, and the expectation between both parties that if circumstances changed for either of us, that we would be adult enough to discuss it and re-assess from there.From my perspective - if everyone was just honest about what they want and what they're prepared to do when it comes to this stuff it would just save SO much hassle. And I mean be really "honest" - not the shit where you just tell someone something in the hopes of getting them into bed. If you're in a relationship, if you're married and you're just looking for some on the side then say so. If you're looking for a relationship or to get out of a marriage then say so. If you want dirty hedonistic sex then just say so - cut to the chase and get what you want I say :)
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'Lop my dick off? I don't think so. Too valuable to the good women who use it. And yeah, I tell every woman I sleep with I'm married. And guess what, some walk and some use it as an aphrodisiac. Something about putting one over and the fucked-up morality of it I guess. So, all you S&M dom type bunnies out there, you are fooling yourself you walk on the dark side. This is where it is at baby, the moral badlands. And aint it good. Well now I have to give you 1 point for at least telling them, you're giving them the option and its all most women ask for. When you don't tell them, you're not only taking an informed choice away from them, you are leaving the ones who would have said 'pass' had they known, in an awful place. What if this woman had sworn never to touch anothers husband, and went to great lengths to stand behind her view, only to have it taken away by some swinging cock who sweet talked her into thinking he was single? Some things just can't be taken back . . Personally I prefer to leave a sexual partner in a better place after we've had fun, not the other way around....... Who has the better memories
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'dontgothere' Quoting 'Dirtyfuka'Lop my dick off? I don't think so. Too valuable to the good women who use it. And yeah, I tell every woman I sleep with I'm married. And guess what, some walk and some use it as an aphrodisiac. Something about putting one over and the fucked-up morality of it I guess. So, all you S&M dom type bunnies out there, you are fooling yourself you walk on the dark side. This is where it is at baby, the moral badlands. And aint it good. Well now I have to give you 1 point for at least telling them, you're giving them the option and its all most women ask for. When you don't tell them, you're not only taking an informed choice away from them, you are leaving the ones who would have said 'pass' had they known, in an awful place. What if this woman had sworn never to touch anothers husband, and went to great lengths to stand behind her view, only to have it taken away by some swinging cock who sweet talked her into thinking he was single? Some things just can't be taken back . . Personally I prefer to leave a sexual partner in a better place after we've had fun, not the other way around....... Who has the better memories i will give the man credit for being honest...personally thats all i ask for from a man now we all know my views..i WONT touch a man that is taken in any way shape or form but i had that exact experience...not that he conned me and pretended to be single, he just didnt bother telling me he was married until i had swallowed his cum and he said "wow my wife never does that" to make it worse he is good friends with my cousin and his family as am i...so now not only did that take me out of the game and put me in my shell for a few days...but how do i face my family knowing iv just done that??? roxxy
-
RHP User
15 years ago
You just nailed it in one, see you're left with any messy moral pieces to put back together, and where is he? yep at home with his wife who probably cooked him a nice dinner.........oh but only after you'd swallowed his cum.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' i will give the man credit for being honest...personally thats all i ask for from a man now we all know my views..i WONT touch a man that is taken in any way shape or form but i had that exact experience...not that he conned me and pretended to be single, he just didnt bother telling me he was married until i had swallowed his cum and he said "wow my wife never does that" to make it worse he is good friends with my cousin and his family as am i...so now not only did that take me out of the game and put me in my shell for a few days...but how do i face my family knowing iv just done that??? roxxy .Wow!!! That's a pretty vivid example..A bit like going to an exotic country and eating a delectable dish to then be told you're eating dog turds..In your case it may have been appropriate for you to bite his sausage really hard as you gag on it before regurgitating everything up it in his face. That includes your last three Christmas dinners..
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Well said Ruby Rebelle. Very wise words. Honesty may thwart some possible encounters but in the long run every knows where the stand, can make better informed decisions, and there is less chance of upset. And the fucking is much more fun if you don't have to keep up a front and let your really true wild self loose.
-
RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'TassieRose' to make it worse he is good friends with my cousin and his family as am i...so now not only did that take me out of the game and put me in my shell for a few days...but how do i face my family knowing iv just done that??? roxxy Oh Roxxy. That should be common ... maybe not in your family... but you know... common in the community... I mean to say.... Tasmania... derrrr! :pYes, you can spank me for that one.HugsStalky
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88140
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10230
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11664
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9760
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1007 Comments: 5253
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5775
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share