M63

... they are just selfish users..

December 17 2008

i was reading a profile today and someone said they thought friends with benefits were "selfish users".. it got me thinking, as i'm an unusual bloke the likely hood of me meeting someone for a committed relationship that is not a huge emotional drain is fairly low. i've been single for 3+ years and and i have to say they have been probably the most relaxed years of my life. but i have a libido... and would still like to be able to share some intimacy with someone special from time to time. this is actually something i take pretty seriously. as i'm open about what i do on the net, my friends all think i'm shagging someone new every week. this is pretty silly. i'm cautious about meeting ppl and in fact have only shared sex with 2 new people in the last 12 months. so you can hardly say i take it lightly. so i wonder?... how many people think men and women like me are "selfish users"? LRE (wondering)

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RHP User

17 years ago

Selfish is a good word.. Selfcentred is a bad word.. so in other words.. its good to be Selfish user when it comes to be friends with benefits :P

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RHP User

17 years ago

How can people think friends with benefits are 'selfish users'? My definition of a 'friend with benefits', is a friend who you can call upon, be it night or day, to go out with, share a laugh, drink with the benefit of sex thrown in. I don't class myself as a selfish user. Bah Humbug.

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RHP User

17 years ago

LRE, I think friends with benefits is a great term. I like the notion of having a friend who I go out with from time and have sex with as well. To me friends with benefits provides for the intimacy we miss but don't want or seek on a daily basis. I don't think its selfish unless you have not been clear about what you are offering, and even that is more carelessness than selfishness. Wildly supporting FWB's

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RHP User

17 years ago

well said tigress. hey guys I'm on holidays for 6 weeks and am really really looking forward to commenting on some the .... you come up with hehe so funny, hell i crack myself up sometimes lmfgdao PD

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RHP User

17 years ago

Ever heard the saying "Friends in need are a pain in the ass"? I think we are mature and worldly enough to figure out if friends with benefits are likely to be selfish users when we first meet them. It isn't rocket science. True friends will call or wait to be called and ask for nothing in return, we have many friends with various benefits away from RHP that aren't selfish.

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RHP User

17 years ago

Little Red Engine... hmmm I wonder if that was MY profile you were reading? I think so, haha Don't read too much into it ... I chose those words one night when the guy I'd been seeing for 6 months who contacted me EVERY DAY and I saw him 2-3 times a week, who I stupidly assumed was my boyfriend... told me that I was only his "friend with benefits". At that moment I felt used and realised he was too selfish to give up his "single" status. Hence I ended up writing "selfish user". Remember people... we are all entitled to our own opinions. And there is nothing wrong with FWB's as long as everyone involved is ok with it. MissDee

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RHP User

17 years ago

it's interesting you thought it was you. i'm sure plenty here have that opinion so it could have been anyone. thanks for sharing though. LRE (has a better understanding now)

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... they are just selfish users..

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