RHP

RHP User

M63 F65

single men and couples.......

June 27 2011

sex

in recent forums posted here, we have been harassed, ridculed and name called because we expressed the idea that we really didnt feel we could share 'intimacy' with another guy. we are here to play, on our terms, if and when we feel inclined, and with gentlemen of our choosing. not to make life long friends, or to find 'regular' or 'long term' playbuddies........so... how can it be an issue? intimacy is all those things that people share (other than sex) that are private, and loaded quite often with emotion... and these are not 'public' property, so what gives?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I'm very rarely intimate with anyone, least I think so. That doesn't mean I don't like a root as much as the next swinging dick.I can appreciate your situation, being a happily married couple who might introduce a fucker every now and again just for your own amusement... and when you're done with them... out the door they go. there's really no need to put on all the social graces for something so basic a chore as rooting. Any man and his dog can do it. Next. lolz.HugsStalky

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    exactly.....we seek neither FB's nor FWB's, so theres no need to establish any ongoing rapport or connection..... its just sex ffs, not seduction or courtship.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Mike, I obviously haven't read the topic you are referring to.... but I don't see any reason why you have to be "intimate" with every play mate at all. Or any playmate for that matter.As per your definition, I take a long time before I am "intimate" with anyone, regardless of whether it is a playmate or an every day friend, I generally don't like talking about myself or my emotions. I know, amazing for a woman.Admittedly I am a lot more open about myself on line than I normally would be when meeting people in person. Stalkers - intimacy and rooting around are not mutually inclusive. As you know. I don't like your second paragraph there.. that doesn't sound nice : ( No one wants to feel like they're there for someone's amusement and then told to fuck off when all has been said and done. Any man and his dog..... yeah well, that is where us ladies differ I guess. xxMeeks

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    That sounds pretty cold, Mike. I know where you and Stalky are coming from but you make it sound as if the people you sleep with don't matter. They could be anyone. I am in one of my moods tonight : ( xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' That sounds pretty cold, Mike. I know where you and Stalky are coming from but you make it sound as if the people you sleep with don't matter. They could be anyone. I am in one of my moods tonight : ( xxMeeka no, not 'cold', just how it is....in the larger scheme of things, all either of us needs is the other, and this play is just that....'play'... we dont go back for seconds, and everyone we choose to play with is made aware that its a 'once only' thing..........

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Swingers dont make love with others they FUCK! others...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I think you will find it is largely the terminology that Mike uses when replying to these certain topics. No kissing, no conversation, no attachment of any kind. Just walk in, fuck and walk out. Not even a simple hello as I recall. If this is the cold type of play you are into it may be easier to just buy a blow up doll or a fuck machine. One can put different clothes on the dolly each time so they think it is a different person. It also happened around the same time as Mike made scathing remarks about a womans vagina. There are many times that he says inflamatory things and then tries to plead innocent, like the time that he posted remarks about women with faded tattoos and sagging breasts....a few minutes after he had looked at my profile and then tried to say he had no idea that I had a tattoo on my breast! Yes people have accused me of the same thing so I try very hard to be aware of it. It is each to thier own on here and I can certainly understand the desire not to get close to anyone, hence the once only rule. Actually this makes it seem (to me) that you do this out of fear that maybe one or another may just develop feelings for someone else. People are social animals, we actually crave intimacy (most of us) For you to basically say, dont talk to me, dont kiss me, just fuck me and leave is a bit of a slap in the face. It appears almost an arrogance. The play mates are not good enough for a second go around....or maybe they are too good? And just how intimate is the act of fucking another or sucking a mans cock? Way way more intimate than a kiss on the cheek for greeting and a simple conversation. That is fine, it is your game, your rules, you play, on your terms, when you feel inclined, as this is your right but dont be too surprised if there are not many there to play when you want because it is also about thier terms as well. l JMO

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I don't think that's so unusual. Leesa said a similar thing in a different way.... "swingers don't make love with others they fuck"... the degree of detachment exists because emotional bonds concentrate between the couple... not between the couple and today's "fuck". Of course, there's no need to be rude about it... but some people get all the wrong ideas... they can even think they're actually there with a shot at taking a position in the relationship. These kinds of expectations from the fuck are not warranted... and are completely unwanted as well. You see it here on RHP forums from time to time... some women.. some blokes.... they apparently try to muscle in on the existing relationship... and that's not swinging... it's grass cutting!! It's so completely uncool!! Six cases of beers in the beer economy!I can also totally appreciate the once only approach.... it avoids the awkwardness of having to explain it... and it avoids the uncomfortableness in the relationship if emotional attachment to the fuck starts to develop... these sacrifices for the good of the relationship make sense to me and people wonder how swingers can have an enduring relationship? Well... I think that's one way of helping things along.HugsStalks Quoting 'mikeandshel' no, not 'cold', just how it is....in the larger scheme of things, all either of us needs is the other, and this play is just that....'play'... we dont go back for seconds, and everyone we choose to play with is made aware that its a 'once only' thing..........

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    agree stalky....Mike : you do what you want to , and no one should judge anyone for the way they feel they wish to live the lifestyle.If some dont want to get to know others and just plain Fuck...then so be it!.Who are we to tell people what to feel or what to do.I say it all the time and i will say it again.SWINGING IS ABOUT THE COUPLE AND THE COUPLE ONLY....NOTHING SHOULD EVER GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT THE COUPLE WISHES TO DO OR HOW THEY PLAY. IT IS ABOUT THEM.....IF THE PERSON DOESNT LIKE WHAT YOU DO OR HOW YOU WANT TO HANDLE THE PLAY THEN SO BE IT..PLAYING IS JUST NOT THAT IMPORTANT........TO A LOVING COUPLE IN A GREAT RELATIONSHIP....My thoughts and what i see over many years owning a club.Those that get too close to others, usually fail in the lifestyle...those that can keep it all seperate enjoy a long life in the scene and a very enjoyable communicative relationship with their partners.xxx Leesa

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Oops sorry, I was in a funny mood last night. I understand exactly where you are coming from. Although I would be tempted to see the person again if it was really good - but that's me. But that is a rule you guys have and that is cool, and if you tell your playmates that up front and they are happy with that. Then all is good. : ) As for people grass cutting, I don't know much about that. Sorry Stalkers... you can have your men and their dogs. I mean who else will keep a look out when you are having a sly shag in the bushes. :P xx Meeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Can I ask, what does everyone mean when they are referring to intimacy? Mike, sounds to me like you are referring to personal information about yourselves and establishing a connection outside of sex. Whereas Fiona has mentioned kissing and intimacy in the physical sense. . Do you have "intimacy rules" in the bedroom too?. I know some couples certainly do - such as kissing & other acts. . xx Meeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Intimacy.. I suppose that means something different to each person. For me... snogging isn't intimate... when I say intimate.. I mean getting out the very personal details... the washing... you know... a close inspection of my linen... up close and personal.... I mean what's in my head.. what's in my history.. what's my life story.. what's my situation. All the external stuff that some people say is intimate in their book..... well that was stolen long ago. As a self confessed slut I have no emotional attachment to such superficial things.HugsStalky Quoting 'Meeka100' Can I ask, what does everyone mean when they are referring to intimacy? Mike, sounds to me like you are referring to personal information about yourselves and establishing a connection outside of sex. Whereas Fiona has mentioned kissing and intimacy in the physical sense. . Do you have "intimacy rules" in the bedroom too?. I know some couples certainly do - such as kissing & other acts. . xx Meeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    We agreed when we began that not only did our relationship come above all else and that those who didn't respect our relationship or our spouse would never touch us again. We both had a veto list which was thankfully very small. In regards to the intimacy side of things we kept (in the spirit of what i just said) very "shallow". A fuck was a fuck and that was the end of it. We did kiss our playmates because for us that is part of the pleasure of the occassion, we both love to kiss. But our hearts and affections strictly belonged to each other. Unfortunatly for me, toward the end i found a number of amazing, smart, funny, fun, lovely people that i just adored and began to love them as people...not just lovers. It made it very hard to leave the scene when the time came to go and i still miss some of them desparately. I got to take a few with me into real life but not many and i'm thrilled it got to take as many as i did. I honestly thought i'd walk away with none. I think as Leesa said, it MUST stay physical, the love is for our relationship and the lust is for our play partners.You're loyalty must always be to the primary relationship and nothing else. I had one long term lover who i took with me into the real world and i love him dearly as a person, as now my dear friend.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    We understand where you are coming from Mike, for example last wednesday night we met up with a guy 8pm a Italian meal at a nice resturent pleasant conversation, talked about his hobbies and ours jobs etc. We did not ask him if he was married, kids, home life... thats his bussiness. Back to the apartment within 1/4 glass of wine, everyone was naked licking sucking and fucking 2 hours later we waved him goodbye. Lovely man, right attitude nil complaints from anyone. Everyone had huge respect for each other. Dont know if anyone kissed, well I do know I didnt kiss him! Maybe we will ask him back, maybe not? We used him but he used us as well we suspect as a bit on the side. Mission accomplished , a lovely fun night out. Think he was bi curious and we had no complaints if you want to use him too...let us know

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    in recent forums posted here, we have been harassed, ridculed and name called because we expressed the idea that we really didnt feel we could share 'intimacy' with another guy. I dont really care much one way or another, but does what people think really matter???? I really cant let a bunch of random strangers tell me how to be. Make sure yr fuck mate is on the same page as you and do what pleases you. is that too simple? GL

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' Those that get too close to others, usually fail in the lifestyle...those that can keep it all seperate enjoy a long life in the scene and a very enjoyable communicative relationship with their partners. xxx Leesa You are so right Leesa, thats the safety net couples that swing use. agree 200%

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    is not only airing my personal life. Rarely does this happen with anyone though. It is gently carressing anothers skin, exploring gently with my eys, my hands and my mouth, slowly taking them into my mouth and running my tongue around the head of thier penis tasting the precum, it is touching and tasting and nibbling gently, taking my time to bring him to the brink of orgasm again and again until neither of us can stand anymore and feel as if we may explode with the pleasure of it. Intimacy is the time to know each other, personally and sexually. If a fuck is required, I can drop my jeans, turn around, bend over.......go for it. No unnecessary touching, no mutual pleasure in lingering foreplay, no whispered words and hot air on my neck, no relaxing in each others arms, drenched in sweat and euphoric after our release. Sounds pretty boring to me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Can I ask, what does everyone mean when they are referring to intimacy? Mike, sounds to me like you are referring to personal information about yourselves and establishing a connection outside of sex. Whereas Fiona has mentioned kissing and intimacy in the physical sense. . Do you have "intimacy rules" in the bedroom too?. I know some couples certainly do - such as kissing & other acts. . xx Meeka 'intimacy' isnt sex. while you can be 'intimate' with a sexual partner, its certainly not a prerequisite for sex. we play, as in indulge in shared sex situations with another guy (bi), but at no point do we share intimacy. Michelle and i have the most intimate of relationships......we share everything. we know absolutely everything about each other and can convey the most private emotions with a look, a touch, a caress and even a sigh. no one shares this with us. no body knows our histories, no body knows the real private 'us' and we like it that way. as for the 'bedroom'? there are things that we share, but only with each other, they are not 'play', they are far more 'intimate' and 'personal' ... Michelle expressed a concern to me, about her not wanting to kiss those we play with.....how could I not support her wishes here? (I felt the same way lol)..and there are other things, or behaviors and the like that nobody else gets to share with either of us, again, we like it this way........ not every part of our lives, or who we are, or what we like, are part of the 'public domain'......some things we guard jealously and passionately, and reveal to no-one.........except each other...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' is not only airing my personal life. Rarely does this happen with anyone though. It is gently carressing anothers skin, exploring gently with my eys, my hands and my mouth, slowly taking them into my mouth and running my tongue around the head of thier penis tasting the precum, it is touching and tasting and nibbling gently, taking my time to bring him to the brink of orgasm again and again until neither of us can stand anymore and feel as if we may explode with the pleasure of it. Intimacy is the time to know each other, personally and sexually. If a fuck is required, I can drop my jeans, turn around, bend over.......go for it. No unnecessary touching, no mutual pleasure in lingering foreplay, no whispered words and hot air on my neck, no relaxing in each others arms, drenched in sweat and euphoric after our release. Sounds pretty boring to me. no...you are mistaking 'intimacy' with 'sex', or in this case 'sensuality'........intimacy is what you share with someone who is a trusted and close friend, or that you share a personal relationship with, its not about sex at all..........sensuality is about the carnal and pleasurable side of adult relationships, the touching and exploring and indulging, its all about sex and pleasure......... we never once indicated that we didn't share sensual pleasure and pursuits, as there'd be no point us being here if we couldn't share that..... and....we can share that without anyone knowing the intimate details and private parts of us and our life together.........which was our whole point to begin with......lol.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' Swingers dont make love with others they FUCK! others... exactly....succinctly...and to the point. and our 'love making' has years of history, knowledge, passion and intimacy attached to it........whereas a playmate may only have been met a few days prior, and know absolutely nothing about us other than the desire to 'play'..........hardly a situation where an 'intimate' connection can exist.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' I think you will find it is largely the terminology that Mike uses when replying to these certain topics. No kissing, no conversation, no attachment of any kind. Just walk in, fuck and walk out. Not even a simple hello as I recall. If this is the cold type of play you are into it may be easier to just buy a blow up doll or a fuck machine. One can put different clothes on the dolly each time so they think it is a different person. It also happened around the same time as Mike made scathing remarks about a womans vagina. There are many times that he says inflamatory things and then tries to plead innocent, like the time that he posted remarks about women with faded tattoos and sagging breasts....a few minutes after he had looked at my profile and then tried to say he had no idea that I had a tattoo on my breast! Yes people have accused me of the same thing so I try very hard to be aware of it. It is each to thier own on here and I can certainly understand the desire not to get close to anyone, hence the once only rule. Actually this makes it seem (to me) that you do this out of fear that maybe one or another may just develop feelings for someone else. People are social animals, we actually crave intimacy (most of us) For you to basically say, dont talk to me, dont kiss me, just fuck me and leave is a bit of a slap in the face. It appears almost an arrogance. The play mates are not good enough for a second go around....or maybe they are too good? And just how intimate is the act of fucking another or sucking a mans cock? Way way more intimate than a kiss on the cheek for greeting and a simple conversation. That is fine, it is your game, your rules, you play, on your terms, when you feel inclined, as this is your right but dont be too surprised if there are not many there to play when you want because it is also about thier terms as well. l JMO we are a couple, apart from establishing that some one may or may not be suitable for our wants, theres no need for us to form a personal connection, nor to have long drawn out conversations about the personal side of someones life, or of our own. Michelle doesnt like to kiss others, and from what i have learned, this is not unusual with couples who play. we have no desire to make new best friends or to establish on going arrangements with any one, never wanted that from the beginning...this 'play' is just that, 'play'.........a pastime...a diversion...whatever...it doesnt define us, or consume us, its just something extra we share......you are a single, so of course you have different ideas and ideals, thats just plain common sense... on the tattoos and sagging breasts....... you are sorrily mistaken if you think i made mention of you and yours..and your time line is way off whack... i posted after spending the day at Qld Raceway on a track day for bikes, and seeing exactly what I mentioned....saggy breasts with faded blue tattoos, on a bra-less woman in a bloody tank top...... don't dare claim that for yourself as that's just plain fabrication on your part. i still havent seen this 'tattoo' on your breast as i've never opened your pictures to see.......and as i dont have 'instant' posting on the forums, how could you possibly know when the thing was submitted???? the forum where we were attacked was 'kissing' and it was totally out of line and inappropriate, as was the bullying, name calling and threatening on the vagina topic...notice it was removed?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Mike, what you and Stalky have described as intimate is of course things you wouldn't share with playmates. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. There are some things you never share with anyone or only one or two people in your life. All friendships and relationships are different and provide you with different things, and as you say Mike, a playmate does not fall under either banner. Intimacy. I suppose alot of people use this word when they talk about sex, although you don't say it, you mention kissing as being ... too intimate to share with strangers. I like how you write about your relationship. That's nice. You are lucky to have found that. xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    one of the things that no body can accuse me of is making a statement, or expressing an opinion or sharing a belief, and then hiding behind 'innocence' when challenged. if anything, i am in trouble for doggedly sticking to my words and defending them to the point of sheer frustration. i dont offer things up that i dont believe in, or trust, or that I cannot prove. i do my homework before taking a stance or expressing a point of view.I'm not saying that I'm never wrong, as I most certainly do make errors, and when proven to be so, am more than willing to adapt to some new learning that has been offered up. so dont hang that shit on me. i dont carry on and continue the crap for days and days like some of the people here, or carry the mood from one forum topic into another...like we have had done to us, to the point where we believe 100% that we are being stalked and a flame war is being thrust upon us.......... these are games that the adults amongst us do not play...such a shame theres bullies here too tho......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Mike, what you and Stalky have described as intimate is of course things you wouldn't share with playmates. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. There are some things you never share with anyone or only one or two people in your life. All friendships and relationships are different and provide you with different things, and as you say Mike, a playmate does not fall under either banner. Intimacy. I suppose alot of people use this word when they talk about sex, although you don't say it, you mention kissing as being ... too intimate to share with strangers. I like how you write about your relationship. That's nice. You are lucky to have found that. xxMeeka thanks for that..yea I think I'm lucky, and express that daily to Shel... Shes my fantasy girl...lol......singles are obviously looking for something very different to couples, we know that, and were never making comment on that. we or I was making comment on what WE are seeking, as a couple. this isnt the only thing we enjoy, we have many many past times, and commitments that fill our days...from work to motorcycling to loving our kids n grandkids... this is just 'play'. no more important to us than any other 'game' or 'hobby', we fit it in, if and when we can, but do so without the illusion that we are ever going to meet someone who will change our lives...we have that already.........and feel no need to share the rest of who we are with anyone we meet here...........

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'Meeka100' Can I ask, what does everyone mean when they are referring to intimacy? Mike, sounds to me like you are referring to personal information about yourselves and establishing a connection outside of sex. Whereas Fiona has mentioned kissing and intimacy in the physical sense. . Do you have "intimacy rules" in the bedroom too?. I know some couples certainly do - such as kissing & other acts. . xx Meeka 'intimacy' isnt sex. while you can be 'intimate' with a sexual partner, its certainly not a prerequisite for sex. we play, as in indulge in shared sex situations with another guy (bi), but at no point do we share intimacy. Michelle and i have the most intimate of relationships......we share everything. we know absolutely everything about each other and can convey the most private emotions with a look, a touch, a caress and even a sigh. no one shares this with us. no body knows our histories, no body knows the real private 'us' and we like it that way. as for the 'bedroom'? there are things that we share, but only with each other, they are not 'play', they are far more 'intimate' and 'personal' ... Michelle expressed a concern to me, about her not wanting to kiss those we play with.....how could I not support her wishes here? (I felt the same way lol)..and there are other things, or behaviors and the like that nobody else gets to share with either of us, again, we like it this way........ not every part of our lives, or who we are, or what we like, are part of the 'public domain'......some things we guard jealously and passionately, and reveal to no-one.........except each other... Have to say that i agree totally with all of this, especially the part where you say " No one knows the real us" , we are the same, our private lives are totally different to the club life.We dont socialize out of the club with anyone from the club, other than 3 or 4 close friends we have had for years, and that is not to play, but as friends .No one knows the REAL us and we take a lot of pride in that.Leesa, Bryan and John

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'fionabee' the forum where we were attacked was 'kissing' and it was totally out of line and inappropriate, as was the bullying, name calling and threatening on the vagina topic...notice it was removed? Mainly because many objected to having thier parts likened to an overfiilled roast beef roll and this is not the first time you have been rather scathing about other women. Yes I think it is fabulous that you have found your fantasy BUT a little acceptance that not everyone is as perfect as Shel would go along way. I particularly followed that topic and I cannot recall you being bullied or harrased or name called to the degree that would warrant all this angst. Maybe you are just a little precious at times.None of us share the INTIMATE detsails of our personal lives with people we have only had a few days acquaintance with. It is a recipe for disaster. I dont share those details with anyone...not even family. Quoting 'mikeandshel' one of the things that no body can accuse me of is making a statement, or expressing an opinion or sharing a belief, and then hiding behind 'innocence' when challenged. This I can and do accuse you of as I have seen it time again and infact have been the recipient myself such a shame theres bullies here too tho...... yes...isnt it?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago...including tattoo so no point saying you have not seen it. But then I suppose you dont notice profile pics anyway, not being interested in other women.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago...including tattoo so no point saying you have not seen it. But then I suppose you dont notice profile pics anyway, not being interested in other women.dont take my comment about someone else and make it your own .........it was a general statement, aimed at no one from the site...I shared it as all 5 of us who were together at the track that day made the same observations and comments, and it fitted into the topic being shared that day. so get over that will you?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'fionabee' the forum where we were attacked was 'kissing' and it was totally out of line and inappropriate, as was the bullying, name calling and threatening on the vagina topic...notice it was removed? Mainly because many objected to having thier parts likened to an overfiilled roast beef roll and this is not the first time you have been rather scathing about other women. Yes I think it is fabulous that you have found your fantasy BUT a little acceptance that not everyone is as perfect as Shel would go along way. I particularly followed that topic and I cannot recall you being bullied or harrased or name called to the degree that would warrant all this angst. Maybe you are just a little precious at times.None of us share the INTIMATE detsails of our personal lives with people we have only had a few days acquaintance with. It is a recipe for disaster. I dont share those details with anyone...not even family. Quoting 'mikeandshel' one of the things that no body can accuse me of is making a statement, or expressing an opinion or sharing a belief, and then hiding behind 'innocence' when challenged. This I can and do accuse you of as I have seen it time again and infact have been the recipient myself such a shame theres bullies here too tho...... yes...isnt it? what are you doing? hijacking this thread? to what end? dont make accusations you cant back up.... an apology for a genuine mistake is certainly no hiding behind anything is it?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'Meeka100' Can I ask, what does everyone mean when they are referring to intimacy? Mike, sounds to me like you are referring to personal information about yourselves and establishing a connection outside of sex. Whereas Fiona has mentioned kissing and intimacy in the physical sense. . Do you have "intimacy rules" in the bedroom too?. I know some couples certainly do - such as kissing & other acts. . xx Meeka 'intimacy' isnt sex. while you can be 'intimate' with a sexual partner, its certainly not a prerequisite for sex. we play, as in indulge in shared sex situations with another guy (bi), but at no point do we share intimacy. Michelle and i have the most intimate of relationships......we share everything. we know absolutely everything about each other and can convey the most private emotions with a look, a touch, a caress and even a sigh. no one shares this with us. no body knows our histories, no body knows the real private 'us' and we like it that way. as for the 'bedroom'? there are things that we share, but only with each other, they are not 'play', they are far more 'intimate' and 'personal' ... Michelle expressed a concern to me, about her not wanting to kiss those we play with.....how could I not support her wishes here? (I felt the same way lol)..and there are other things, or behaviors and the like that nobody else gets to share with either of us, again, we like it this way........ not every part of our lives, or who we are, or what we like, are part of the 'public domain'......some things we guard jealously and passionately, and reveal to no-one.........except each other... Have to say that i agree totally with all of this, especially the part where you say " No one knows the real us" , we are the same, our private lives are totally different to the club life.We dont socialize out of the club with anyone from the club, other than 3 or 4 close friends we have had for years, and that is not to play, but as friends .No one knows the REAL us and we take a lot of pride in that.Leesa, Bryan and John and its going to stay that way too.... this is what i meant about 'intimacy'...its that part of our lives that is our own, and always will be.... singles dont have it, and they may be here with an open mind half seeking it.... we dont need to as we have already found it....whatever we have that could be shared with anyone else is already being shared with each other..and its just about everything except 'sex'.........and like i have said over and over...intimacy is NOT sex.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee'After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago... Thats not fair we missed out ....pretty please can you show again?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago...including tattoo so no point saying you have not seen it. But then I suppose you dont notice profile pics anyway, not being interested in other women. see the topic titled 'Oh Please'.......read the posts.... you will see that it was AFTER i posted my comments, that you made us aware that you had a tattoo........something I never knew....... i told you then, and tell u now, that it was never for you or about you, so get over it will you? as for your pic? theres a huge number of people on these forums whose pics i take no notice of and whose profiles i/we have never looked at.......u attacked me then, and now, 3 months later, still drag this up...what for?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I feel the need to ask people why they take such offence at words.A couple that spills their thoughts on here gets attacked for doing so.I have been watching forums for many years, reading an commenting, and reading between the lines of people comments.Maybe a few people should stand back and read between the lines of why some people are the way they are.Maybe it is simply their choice, and or maybe it is what they have agreed to in their relationship, and or maybe it is something that has affected them in life and dont ever want to be put in that position again.Simply accept that some have different opinions than others and so be it.They are not hurting anyone and if that makes them happy why do they have to explain their life to everyone.We make our own choices in this lifestyle and those choices are ours...not for anyone to put down or to make accusations about why they are wrong or right.Enjoy what you all do, make sure YOU as a couple are happy and adjusted with your choices...and the lifestyle will see a very happy and well adjusted couple for the rest of your lives together.As for intimacy and what we do and why we do it as a threesome....all i can say is it is none of anyone business what goes on in the bedroom of a loving couple/3some etc....make your own rules up people and stick to them, it is all about YOU as a COUPLE and no one else. Dont ever worry about anyone but your partner!Happy fucking...xxLeesa

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' I feel the need to ask people why they take such offence at words. Leesa I think you will find the singles will apply their criteria to what a couple is saying, we have noticed a lot singles say they would not / cant understand couples that swing and they couldnt do it when they get partners. Or with their past partners. So there is the problem, couples should not take their comments seriously. Just our view why. We cant see a problem with a overstuffed beef roll.......yummmmmm , I would be into it ! Arse no....yuckie yuck. But they can be good fishing, the forums are just fun

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'fionabee' After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago...including tattoo so no point saying you have not seen it. But then I suppose you dont notice profile pics anyway, not being interested in other women. see the topic titled 'Oh Please'.......read the posts.... you will see that it was AFTER i posted my comments, that you made us aware that you had a tattoo........something I never knew....... i told you then, and tell u now, that it was never for you or about you, so get over it will you? as for your pic? theres a huge number of people on these forums whose pics i take no notice of and whose profiles i/we have never looked at.......u attacked me then, and now, 3 months later, still drag this up...what for? After the amount of times you have personally attacked me and mine. Let me see....topics about marriage when I questioned peoples reasons for it, topics about kids and why they are a deal breaker for some, the one about swearing (which incidently was the main reason why Roxxy aka Tassie Rose closed her profile) not to mention the already mentioned topics whereby you have been particularly scathing. I really do not care what you do and who you do it with but the reasons why you get attacked so often is, as previously stated, simply the way you state things. If you stopped and thought about your words and the meanings they convey BEFORE pushing that send button you may find that you get personally attacked less often. How many times have I seen a comment by you lately saying things like "your oppinion means absolutely nothing to me so stop giveing me advice" or words to that effect. If the opinions of others on this forum mean nothing to you then why are you here whinging about the hard time you get? l Quoting 'couplesint' They are not hurting anyone and if that makes them happy why do they have to explain their life to everyone. We make our own choices in this lifestyle and those choices are ours...not for anyone to put down or to make accusations about why they are wrong or right. This is true and no doubt Mike can and will agree here, then he should take this advice himself. The reason why he gets put down is as I have already said, because of the way he constantly belittles others..,.,and then complains..."Oh woe is me. I done nothing wrong" Nobody really cares how anyone lives thier life except when it affects them personally. This is a forum, open for public debate, if a person puts his thoughts up there for all the world to see (well the adult portion of it anyway) and I disagree then I have the right to say I disagree and why. Mikeandshel were not put down, belittled, questioned or ridiculed anymore than anyone else on this forum. Perhaps they are a little more sensitive than most.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    what are you doing? hijacking this thread? to what end? How can answering the comments while still sticking to the original question be considered hijacking? You want to know why you get critisized? I am offering you a reason.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'fionabee' After the comment about sagging boobs and faded tatoos I posted just such a pic for several months, only taking it down a few days ago...including tattoo so no point saying you have not seen it. But then I suppose you dont notice profile pics anyway, not being interested in other women. see the topic titled 'Oh Please'.......read the posts.... you will see that it was AFTER i posted my comments, that you made us aware that you had a tattoo........something I never knew....... i told you then, and tell u now, that it was never for you or about you, so get over it will you? as for your pic? theres a huge number of people on these forums whose pics i take no notice of and whose profiles i/we have never looked at.......u attacked me then, and now, 3 months later, still drag this up...what for? After the amount of times you have personally attacked me and mine. Let me see....topics about marriage when I questioned peoples reasons for it, topics about kids and why they are a deal breaker for some, the one about swearing (which incidently was the main reason why Roxxy aka Tassie Rose closed her profile) not to mention the already mentioned topics whereby you have been particularly scathing. I really do not care what you do and who you do it with but the reasons why you get attacked so often is, as previously stated, simply the way you state things. If you stopped and thought about your words and the meanings they convey BEFORE pushing that send button you may find that you get personally attacked less often. How many times have I seen a comment by you lately saying things like "your oppinion means absolutely nothing to me so stop giveing me advice" or words to that effect. If the opinions of others on this forum mean nothing to you then why are you here whinging about the hard time you get? l Quoting 'couplesint' They are not hurting anyone and if that makes them happy why do they have to explain their life to everyone. We make our own choices in this lifestyle and those choices are ours...not for anyone to put down or to make accusations about why they are wrong or right. This is true and no doubt Mike can and will agree here, then he should take this advice himself. The reason why he gets put down is as I have already said, because of the way he constantly belittles others..,.,and then complains..."Oh woe is me. I done nothing wrong" Nobody really cares how anyone lives thier life except when it affects them personally. This is a forum, open for public debate, if a person puts his thoughts up there for all the world to see (well the adult portion of it anyway) and I disagree then I have the right to say I disagree and why. Mikeandshel were not put down, belittled, questioned or ridiculed anymore than anyone else on this forum. Perhaps they are a little more sensitive than most. when do i ever say 'woe is me'? and hey this is a 'forum' which is not a 'debate' they are two completely different things...(forum is a discussion, a sharing of ideas and opinions in a conversational way)...... i dont claim to have done 'nothing wrong' if you read my posts i make very few, if any apologies, and stand by my words... unlike yourself fiona?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' what are you doing? hijacking this thread? to what end? How can answering the comments while still sticking to the original question be considered hijacking? You want to know why you get critisized? I am offering you a reason.then whats with the dragging up of other forums and their content?...when you know full well what was posted and why, as its already been explained to you???? how is that 'on topic' and have anything to do with any part of our original question?? besides, our question was about us as a couple playing with single guys, and being harassed and name called for sharing our thoughts on the topic..(. are you a couple? or a single guy?if not, how does our question have anything to do with you, other than to pose as an opportunity for you to attack us about things long passed? we

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    my fault someone else chose to close their account? thats really rich.. lol..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    read the entire 'kids A dealbreaker ?? post and found nothing to suggest we had an issue with kids, rather we expressed disappointment at those who rejected others on the basis of them being parents......... cant see the issue there.........

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' I feel the need to ask people why they take such offence at words.A couple that spills their thoughts on here gets attacked for doing so.I have been watching forums for many years, reading an commenting, and reading between the lines of people comments.Maybe a few people should stand back and read between the lines of why some people are the way they are.Maybe it is simply their choice, and or maybe it is what they have agreed to in their relationship, and or maybe it is something that has affected them in life and dont ever want to be put in that position again.Simply accept that some have different opinions than others and so be it.They are not hurting anyone and if that makes them happy why do they have to explain their life to everyone.We make our own choices in this lifestyle and those choices are ours...not for anyone to put down or to make accusations about why they are wrong or right.Enjoy what you all do, make sure YOU as a couple are happy and adjusted with your choices...and the lifestyle will see a very happy and well adjusted couple for the rest of your lives together.As for intimacy and what we do and why we do it as a threesome....all i can say is it is none of anyone business what goes on in the bedroom of a loving couple/3some etc....make your own rules up people and stick to them, it is all about YOU as a COUPLE and no one else. Dont ever worry about anyone but your partner!Happy fucking...xxLeesa we get that its our play, by our rules and on our timeteable.... but it seems others dont, and feel we should play by their rules... thing is tho, that we dont wish to, we do our thing and look after each other... and......if its a 'once only' thing and that suits us..... who, but ourselves, can question this? and if, along the way, we choose to not take playmates on board as friends, then what does it matter? thats our choice either way isnt it?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'mikeandshel' then whats with the dragging up of other forums and their content?...when you know full well what was posted and why, as its already been explained to you???? how is that 'on topic' and have anything to do with any part of our original question?? besides, our question was about us as a couple playing with single guys, and being harassed and name called for sharing our thoughts on the topic..(. are you a couple? or a single guy?if not, how does our question have anything to do with you, other than to pose as an opportunity for you to attack us about things long passed? I suggest you re-read your original question. It was not directed at other couples nor single guys at all. Infact, nowhere was couples even mentioned. It was about why you get ridiculed and called names and generally harrassed. I have now stated three times...on this topic the reason why but of course you are just not that interested in knowing why, probably because nobody elses opinion matters.Things long past are the reason why you do get attacked. You seem to feel it is your right to state your opinion in the most crude and insensitive way you can and then (okay not cry oh woe is me) just "why are we being attacked" feigning all innocence. Nobody needs to know the "intimate" story of your life. Nobody tells that to casual playmates but then, that is not really the issue is it? The issue is trying to make Mikeandshell out to be the nice guy in the sandpit.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'mikeandshel' then whats with the dragging up of other forums and their content?...when you know full well what was posted and why, as its already been explained to you???? how is that 'on topic' and have anything to do with any part of our original question?? besides, our question was about us as a couple playing with single guys, and being harassed and name called for sharing our thoughts on the topic..(. are you a couple? or a single guy?if not, how does our question have anything to do with you, other than to pose as an opportunity for you to attack us about things long passed? I suggest you re-read your original question. It was not directed at other couples nor single guys at all. Infact, nowhere was couples even mentioned. It was about why you get ridiculed and called names and generally harrassed. I have now stated three times...on this topic the reason why but of course you are just not that interested in knowing why, probably because nobody elses opinion matters.Things long past are the reason why you do get attacked. You seem to feel it is your right to state your opinion in the most crude and insensitive way you can and then (okay not cry oh woe is me) just "why are we being attacked" feigning all innocence. Nobody needs to know the "intimate" story of your life. Nobody tells that to casual playmates but then, that is not really the issue is it? The issue is trying to make Mikeandshell out to be the nice guy in the sandpit. what is your problem? the issue is asking a question about why we were attacked for suggesting we sought to play with single men without the need to establish an 'intimate' relationship...........yet you make it about you and drag shit up thats so far removed from the question at hand that its simply unbelievable!!!!!!! how could our question relate to a posting in an entirely different forum topic? how could something you CLAIM to have been directed at YOU, be anything to do with a MALE harassing US and calling US names?.............how, as a direct result of us suggesting we felt we didnt see establishing an intimate relationship with anyone else to be what we wanted, or playing with someone just once (which suits us),could any of this be something you could also attack us over??????? i would suggest YOU read the question properly.......its written pretty simply and in plain English......you make it about something else......entirely. by inserting your words and paraphrasing, yet again......... the post is even titled "SINGLE MEN AND COUPLES".........or did you choose to not see that??couplesint and Meeka and even Stalky understood what i was saying....as didgoodgirlssayplz and JustEnough...... so why didnt you?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' The issue is trying to make Mikeandshell out to be the nice guy in the sandpit. I dont give a flying fig who thinks I'm a nice guy or not! never have, never will........ lol.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Come on kiddies stop fighting ....it just makes it all a big joke and loses the interest in the forum.No one is ever gonna win your debate and bottom line who gives a shit.......stop the bickering and just accept that everyone has there own thoughts and why do you have to attack ! and yes i say attack ! as that is what i see fionabe doing constantly to Mike. ( had to be said) as i am sure others are too shy to say that but i am not!.Let it alone, move on and stop the crap forums are for debates, not attacking or going over old shit again and again.Have a wonderful day.And by the way , i will not respond to any attack from anyone, so dont bother having a go at me for saying what i think , i simply dont give a shit...lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' Come on kiddies stop fighting ....it just makes it all a big joke and loses the interest in the forum.No one is ever gonna win your debate and bottom line who gives a shit.......stop the bickering and just accept that everyone has there own thoughts and why do you have to attack ! and yes i say attack ! as that is what i see fionabe doing constantly to Mike. ( had to be said) as i am sure others are too shy to say that but i am not!.Let it alone, move on and stop the crap forums are for debates, not attacking or going over old shit again and again.Have a wonderful day.And by the way , i will not respond to any attack from anyone, so dont bother having a go at me for saying what i think , i simply dont give a shit...lolhey thanks.......its beginning to be a real drag...and apologies from this end at least for participating in what is a ridiculous to and fro.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'mikeandshel' then whats with the dragging up of other forums and their content?...when you know full well what was posted and why, as its already been explained to you???? how is that 'on topic' and have anything to do with any part of our original question?? besides, our question was about us as a couple playing with single guys, and being harassed and name called for sharing our thoughts on the topic..(. are you a couple? or a single guy?if not, how does our question have anything to do with you, other than to pose as an opportunity for you to attack us about things long passed? I suggest you re-read your original question. It was not directed at other couples nor single guys at all. Infact, nowhere was couples even mentioned. It was about why you get ridiculed and called names and generally harrassed. I have now stated three times...on this topic the reason why but of course you are just not that interested in knowing why, probably because nobody elses opinion matters.Things long past are the reason why you do get attacked. You seem to feel it is your right to state your opinion in the most crude and insensitive way you can and then (okay not cry oh woe is me) just "why are we being attacked" feigning all innocence. Nobody needs to know the "intimate" story of your life. Nobody tells that to casual playmates but then, that is not really the issue is it? The issue is trying to make Mikeandshell out to be the nice guy in the sandpit. Fiona right , if you just have a quick look , you may think fiona is attacking mike all the time , but then you look some more , & you see mike attack most female on here in a crude way , don,t get me wrong , i think mike is a funny guy ( most of the time & i like his posts ). But i suprise he does not know why people attack him back , as for the other females attacking you Fiona , i think they just threaten by you or your life style (-: I don,t know why people worry so much , I know I going to hell

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'mikeandshel'read the entire 'kids A dealbreaker ?? post and found nothing to suggest we had an issue with kids, rather we expressed disappointment at those who rejected others on the basis of them being parents......... cant see the issue there......... Quoting 'mikeandshel' we get that its our play, by our rules and on our timeteable.... but it seems others dont, and feel we should play by their rules... thing is tho, that we dont wish to, we do our thing and look after each other... and......if its a 'once only' thing and that suits us..... who, but ourselves, can question this? and if, along the way, we choose to not take playmates on board as friends, then what does it matter? thats our choice either way isnt it? Contradiction in statements one after another (thats how I read it anyway but I know you will correct me if I am wrong...lol) - just a quick thing Mike (seeing as it was me that created all the fuss in the kids thread) but if you can play by your rules surely I can play by mine??? - and that means no parents, no smokers, no couples, no groups, no one older than my mother, no fly in fly out types...sure it limits my choices (in some eyes) but hey! my choice right??? But then everyone has their rules and we all get attacked on differing levels as to whether they are 'right' or not by others standards... . I appreciate and understand that your a couple and your relationship comes first (as it should) but remembering the thread you are talking about you did state : Quoting 'mikeandshel'kissing is the most intimate thing we do.... but for a kiss to be memorable, there has to be a connection...its not just a physical thing either...its chemical and its emotional.we kiss often. we kiss long and slow and with tenderness and love. We do not share this as there is no true 'intimacy' with any play mate. we dont seek any 'connection' other than the physical. we dont seek conversation or commitment or intimacy of mind and emotion.... the play is about the act, not the person, as its never going to be an on-going thing......intimacy isnt sex. thats just sex. whether it be fucking sucking or licking. intimacy isnt something we will or can share with anyone who isnt a lover, and to be a lover they have to be, in our eyes, the 'only' one. the guys we play with might, if they are liked, receive a kiss on the cheek hello or goodbye,from Shel, but its not yet been an 'open' mouthed full kiss, and likely will never be. The highlighted parts of the post (particularly the bit in red) are more than likely what people took offence to. . Now while I am a single person I have previusly been in an 8 year relationship that did include swinging - so I do have some memories of what it was like as a couple ...and fully agree that you should play by your own rules...however we found that we also needed to take into consideration the rules, wants and desires of the other person involved...because like it or not - the experience is about them too - they are human - they do have feelings (well last I checked) and I do hope that you make them fully aware before meeting (actually very early on in the communication process) that kissing is a big 'not happening' aspect of the experience otherwise you will be coming across as cold selfish people (JMO - thanks Miss BJ) especially for those who do consider it an essential part of the experience... . As for the intent of your post - as we have both seen previously (am going to refer back to the kids thread for an example) just beacuse you title something hoping that people will understand what you are getting at doesnt mean they will....a possiblity could have been that when asking your questions you had prefaced them with couples and single guys...just a thought...because if you dont take into consideration the title of the thread you really are asking a question to everyone about why you are attacked... again JMO. . Kisses Focus

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    focusliason saysWe do not share this as there is no true 'intimacy' with any play mate. we dont seek any 'connection' other than the physical. we dont seek conversation or commitment or intimacy of mind and emotion.... the play is about the act, not the person, as its never going to be an on-going thing......intimacy isnt sex. thats just sex. whether it be fucking sucking or licking. intimacy isnt something we will or can share with anyone who isnt a lover, and to be a lover they have to be, in our eyes, the 'only' one. the guys we play with might, if they are liked, receive a kiss on the cheek hello or goodbye,from Shel, but its not yet been an 'open' mouthed full kiss, and likely will never be.OMG...you are not serious are you!!!!.For a couple to have their own rules and be open and honest in a forum about them, we should all be thankful.I see no attack or take no offence at someone saying the " if they are liked" about another. SO WHAT!...i like to like a person too before we play .....omg this is way out of hand.Thanks to Mike and Shell for sharing your life with us and what you like to do with others, I totally agree and feel that i can say that after 18 years on the scene and running and owning a swingers club for 8 years...that what you say is the MAJORITY of our patrons.This all is now getting way humorous and quite silly really....Leesa xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'couplesint' focusliason saysWe do not share this as there is no true 'intimacy' with any play mate. we dont seek any 'connection' other than the physical. we dont seek conversation or commitment or intimacy of mind and emotion.... the play is about the act, not the person, as its never going to be an on-going thing......intimacy isnt sex. thats just sex. whether it be fucking sucking or licking. intimacy isnt something we will or can share with anyone who isnt a lover, and to be a lover they have to be, in our eyes, the 'only' one. the guys we play with might, if they are liked, receive a kiss on the cheek hello or goodbye,from Shel, but its not yet been an 'open' mouthed full kiss, and likely will never be.OMG...you are not serious are you!!!!.For a couple to have their own rules and be open and honest in a forum about them, we should all be thankful.I see no attack or take no offence at someone saying the " if they are liked" about another. SO WHAT!...i like to like a person too before we play .....omg this is way out of hand.Thanks to Mike and Shell for sharing your life with us and what you like to do with others, I totally agree and feel that i can say that after 18 years on the scene and running and owning a swingers club for 8 years...that what you say is the MAJORITY of our patrons.This all is now getting way humorous and quite silly really....Leesa xxxwe know its how the majority of couples feel, and how they play, but we also get that perhaps they just dont say it.......no reasonable person would be so blase about their partner that they'd feel it ok for him or her to have a procession of playmates who they had an 'intimate' connection with....to us that seems like a sure fire way to end the relationship, very quickly........we were looking for feedback from couples and their thoughts and experiences here, and from single guys, about what they felt....not, as has been suggested, looking for sympathy or any such rubbish.so...thanks guys for your feedback, we honestly do appreciate the insight you must have and the fact that you share this with us all.......and apologies for the way this subject has been driven away from its original course...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Everyone comes here to find something that works for them. Do they have to be apologetic for it if it doesn't suit others? No. Look after yourselves first and foremost. Birds of similar feathers will always flock together! FLOCK I say!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    No we are not kidding. Time and time again in many different topics Mike has run down and scathingly critised women, not only me. This is the reason why he gets attacked personally. l How many times do I need to state this to make it clear? l Yes it is topics that are long gone. He wanted to know WHY!!!!! Well that is why. Just because a topic is three, four or ten months old...or been removed, closed, does not take the sting out of the attacks he has perpetrated. If anyone on this forum wishes to not be ridiculed and harrased then why do they constantly do it to others and then complain so that people have instant posting removed and topics are closed. Personally I like to handle all critism myslef as I am a big girl and can stick up for myself. I have long since stopped needing protection form "Big Brother" There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your own rules, absolutely nothing wrong with being honest about your expectations, absolutely nothing wrong with putting your partner first...it is what is expected. l But it is not right to put other women down constantly in degrading ways then expect no retaliation at all. l Topic Headings can and usually are obtuse in the extreme. Nowhere does it say that this is a question FOR couples and single guys and nowhere does it say that it was couples and single guys who harrased and ridiculed you. "in recent forums posted here, we have been harassed, ridculed and name called because we expressed the idea that we really didnt feel we could share 'intimacy' with another guy."