M50 F51
going over my head....
May 17 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's the nature of parties. Everyone is special. Not everyone goes from one person to the other though. I don't for instance.... I usually stick with the friends I am with on most occasions even though my friends may go from person to person. But that is how I am, I suppose I am not really a swinger. Or I haven't learnt to really let go yet!! (Probably that. Lol) going out to breakfast the next morning and all swapping stories is fun though. It's meant to br an night of being a bit wild and free... So the ego thing needs to stay home. Swingers are team players. :p
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RHP User
12 years ago
Acceptance is a key thing here... Acceptance of how you feel. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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tamworthguy46
12 years ago
Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like you want to connect to your lovers on a emotional level as well as their bodies, go with whatever your comfortable with, rather than what you think you should or shouldn't feel ? Tam
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RHP User
12 years ago
I used to have very similar feelings.. It has changed as I've been to more parties and my confidence has developed also as I have got to know people in the scene. I think it is changing from ingrained cultural values to a completely different set of "swinger" values. It takes time to be able to do this in the drive to the party! I also think as you get to know people they just become your "friends" and it's not about ego or competition it's more like just going from friend to friend and hanging out for a bit. Probably what happened was the guy saw you were talking to your hubby and the night was short so he politely went and "hung out" with someone else and would come back to you after. It doesn't mean he thought you were any less hot. So never take it that way! I think the best way to get over it is to get out there and make as many friends as possible in the scene: male and female and know that it's all about fun, freedom and being able to be you. I hope this is of some help. Xxviolet
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RHP User
12 years ago
The party/event thing is not for you... Maybe you could look towards hosting a single/couple, that way you do get to be the special one... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
How many different females did your husband 'play with'? And why is it ok for him to show other females attention and yet you do not mention that you had any negative feelings about that? In my opinion, you may have issues with control. How do I know? Because I am a control freak! You are at a party, eyed off your play thing, tried to capture him for yourself but he did not fully comply with your implied wishes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Miss Incredible you have articulated it so well. "It doesn't mean he thought you were any less hot. So never take it that way." Wise words. Yes OP. I am new to this and find the things that excite me also scare me too. Follow Violet's advice. Get out there and make friends in the scene. It certainly helps with the nerves being comfortable around more people on a social level before you play. But most importantly. Have fun with it all ;) Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
That is why I don't think it is my scene. I am not against it and I wish I had the personality that would be open to it but I don't and I accept that. I especially couldn't do it with someone I cared about, I would be too jealous a person. I think you need to assess your motivation for going before you go again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
thank you guys all for your comments and advises.... as some of you were suggesting...i perhaps need to readjust my perception of what parties are all about...suppose we are more used to meeting up with individuals/couples on arranged meets...where , if the connection is there in person, him/her/them will be the only playmate for the evening...while i realize now, parties are more like a tapas restaurant...catering mostly to people who wish to sample a little bit of many different flavours.... that being said, i also appreciate the comments of those, who suggested that i am out to learn to accept my own feelings, whatever they are....i am sure a lot of it comes down to being relatively inexperienced in the wonderful world of swinger's functions...lol thanks again for taking your time, to read my post...and for offering valuable, new point of views, that certainly helped to widen my own horizons....
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a guy who prefers the intimacy of one on one situation. I understand where you're coming from. That's not to say I'd reject the swinging scene.. It's something on my bucket list for sure, just never got around to it... Yet ? I think one of the things that held me back is my perception of what it might be like .. What you wrote is part of my perception.. Is it right for me ? Do I really need to react with people I don't know ?... So I think for some of us , it's a fair question... Jay
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'tamworthguy46' Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like you want to connect to your lovers on a emotional level as well as their bodies, go with whatever your comfortable with, rather than what you think you should or shouldn't feel ? Tam that is most definitely the case...unfortunately that desire of mine tends to scare off a lot of people...they confuse my need to feel desired with romantic feelings...or just think i belong to the " too hard basket"... i only do it with single guys...it seems when it comes to couples or especially girls, i am more than happy to play with little previous interaction, providing we have that sexual energy flowing between us when we meet...i think perhaps the reason for that is my fear of "feeling used"...had one or two MFM encounters, when i kinda felt like a live fuck doll instead of the object of someone's desire...for some reason i feel, that if someone cares about me , as a person...they are more likely to care about me and my needs as a lover too...plus i find it harder to let my hair down, and be that dirty little plaything i so enjoy, with someone i know nothing of...
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