dominant v submissive

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  oh boy...remind me not to go near you...if you truly believe the dominant has the control in the dom/sub relationship then I am very scared... . Kises Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  why scared... i did say i am new to it so can you explain more by what you meant????

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  He doenst want to be a DOM .. he wants to be a controller ...

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  What the girls are trying to tell you, is that the sub is actually the one in the situation with all the control. And it needs to be this way for it to work obviously, otherwise it's just someone letting another person having free reign over their body. The point is the sub pushing their personal boundaries and giving over control to someone they trust implicitly, if you want to be a Dom you need to be very very trustworthy and not purely because you like to get off on the 'power' side. You need to get off on the sub getting off first and foremost. . I'll never be able to explain anything as well as Mistress T. But you might want to head over to Fetlife . com and get yourself sorted out. Perhaps some time as a sub before you do anything else?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Beacause Jock its just so hard to put this in word in short paragraphs. Now, now lovely gals give him a go ! DGT thank you..Mate being a Dom is a really interesting position its about having what you perhaps call control but is in fact a responsibility. I always think of it as a privilege..As DGT has explained it is about trust and not just "yeah he will turn up" its about implicit trust , you are pushing boundaries here taking a sub to her / his boundaries and identifying what these are through that trust which is developed not only through experience but also communication..Just as the ladies of RHP have expressed its not so much about "control"..Ok so thats probably enough for now try heading to a kink bookshop there are a bevy of good books on this subject one of the ones I think is an easy and good read is the "new toping book" by Dossie easton and J Hardy. There are stacks of other but thats a good start. Yes fetlife is a good heading particulalry about Munches and meetings forums etc ....warning read first learn and then jump in .....if you thought these ladies were tough ...... oh fetlife will curl your hair ! I do far more listening than potificating on Fetlife.. You know I have been Topping or been playing in the world of being a Dom for sometime now and I am still not what I class as an experienced Dom. I learn more and more as I travel on the journey , and many of the lesson come from the subbies I play with, much more than I have ever learnt from other Doms to date. I have recently been thinking of mentoring with another Dom because you just cant learn enough. Offers accepted !.Take your time mate. Lots to learn..Brae

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I'm a bit of a switch and like to work out along the way how it's going to be. Having said that, I usually top... just occasionally I meet someone who has those leadership qualities that make me want to be submissive for a while. That doesn't mean I like being bullied... I think to be a good top, you need a certain charm and sense of authority... you know.. leadership qualities.. the kind of personality that makes people choose to follow.HugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  i appreciate the advice ...like i said i am new to it and keen to try something that has intrigued me for a while... how ever i do have the balls to to admit i like it and want to take it furhter and learn more...i may have chosen some wrong words to use and no th arhp LADIES DONT SCARE ME lol thought it was a amusing to see different responses, after all its a free world and every one has opinion.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I agree with the comments above, to me being dominant seems like lots of hard work, I much prefer to be submissive, if you want to call it that. To me it is a position I chose to take. xxMeeks

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100' I agree with the comments above, to me being dominant seems like lots of hard work, I much prefer to be submissive, if you want to call it that. To me it is a position I chose to take. xxMeeks I would not, could not be submissive (in a house, on a plane, with a mouse, on a train! lol, sorry) and yes being a Domme seems like hard work, and it kind of is beforehand making sure you've done all your research on your sub, prepared your tools, your scene, etc. I had a phase where i got into real 'analysis paralysis' from researching too much and not making time to DO it but I found that when the time came to put on the boots, i didn't really roleplay so much as just allow that part of myself to come out, it feels natural - so much that sometimes little bits of that headspace lingers for days and I have to reign it in at work so as not to make it difficult for my poor manager to try to lead me LOLAnd putting aside the OPs misunderstanding/poor choice of words to answer part of his ?question?statement? it doesn't matter what you do for work, it matters what you are. There are a lot of people with very demanding jobs that require snap decision making all day who just want to come home and put aside that control, perform routine tasks they've been trained in and focus their attention on a dominant who will take over the responsibility for them. They get a good feeling from putting aside their outside shit and just being able to serve. On the other hand, I've had demanding jobs that require snap decisions all day and you can bet your balls that when I drag ass in the door at the end of the day, if you expected me to make Master a coffee and suck Master's cock, it would not give me a lovely contented blissful feeling. You'd be told in no uncertain terms to stick your dick in your coffee and suck the damn thing yourself. And make me a coffee while you're at it. Therein lies the simple difference.xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  now thats an answer...........

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