M50
advice folks
December 23 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not rejection if she dismisses you..... because she doesn't know "you". She is merely dismissing HOW you approached. And there are s number of readons for that (too many options fof this message right now). Overcoming the irrational rejection factor is the most important step a man can take to invest in himself, his future and the future of the women he desires to be with. But there is a way to defuse 'rejection' before you even speak to a new person, and it's so damn simple you'll wonder why it didn't cross your mind years ago. Have bold body language to begin with. This alone catches people's attention. Look her in the eye.... wait for her to catch your dominant gaze.... she will either look away, or not. If she looks away, wait to see if she looks back. When she does, smile just a little. If she smiles back, congratulations. You have just "primed" the approach and determined she is at least friendly and not averse to you talking to her. What happens next.... is up to you..... happy to share more privately if you wish.... just don't make talking to new people such a big deal... and they won't be defensive because your lack of confidence unsettles and fails to inspire them. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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Paradisepair
12 years ago
I'll always hold a conversation unless someone's being a creep. Honestly no-ones ever come close to picking me up, outside of a club, so I think if you approach it as an exercise in communication without expectations you'll be surprised at the level of communication some women will afford you. Just keep the topics interesting on some level.
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RHP User
12 years ago
DG has made a very important point. If a women has caught your eye, and maybe looked at you again then yes, make conversation. If a women is reading or doing something and is not looking around like she wants to have a conversation. Don't go over and interrupt what she is going. Nothing more annoying when you just want some quiet time to yourself and some guy comes up and will not go away! :-/
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RHP User
12 years ago
you need to learn how to get your 'foot in the door'it's rarely something that happens while you're transmuting don't think about it so much while you're in transit...you're just putting yourself in a no-win situation because the 'window of opportunity' narrows so fast once you see a girl you desire, that you'll be too highly strung without uttering a word by the time she steps off patience my man pick your 'target' when you have time to wait...because forcing your hand is folly unless you're a master of the silver tongue
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks ALL. U guys are awesome. Like to hear from more girls as to how they would and have reacted to such conversations and got picked.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' It's not rejection if she dismisses you..... because she doesn't know "you". She is merely dismissing HOW you approached. And there are s number of readons for that (too many options fof this message right now). Overcoming the irrational rejection factor is the most important step a man can take to invest in himself, his future and the future of the women he desires to be with. But there is a way to defuse 'rejection' before you even speak to a new person, and it's so damn simple you'll wonder why it didn't cross your mind years ago. Have bold body language to begin with. This alone catches people's attention. Look her in the eye.... wait for her to catch your dominant gaze.... she will either look away, or not. If she looks away, wait to see if she looks back. When she does, smile just a little. If she smiles back, congratulations. You have just "primed" the approach and determined she is at least friendly and not averse to you talking to her. What happens next.... is up to you..... happy to share more privately if you wish.... just don't make talking to new people such a big deal... and they won't be defensive because your lack of confidence unsettles and fails to inspire them. DG - Posted from rhpmobile We both know I don't always love your cookie cutter approach to this stuff, but I also know a lot of it is on the money. This one I agree with wholeheartedly. It offers two things - it sends a clear signal to a woman, which gives her the chance to signal back AND it avoids a direct pick-up and direct rejection, which can both be uncomfortable. I think it would be great if more men showed their interest in a bold (never tacky!) way. I'm sure men feel the same about women, but that's another post :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
:p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not quite. Much gets lost in the necessity for clinical explanation. Observation and understanding are the keys to effective communication :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I always enjoy starting a conversation with a woman but I do naturally with no expectation. I am curious by nature and I always wonder what people do. So I spark a conversation, generally it is very pleasant and you make a connection. That doesn't mean that this woman will fell for you but you create a relationship at some level and you go from there. Now my wife is enjoying a chat with a stranger if that person is respectful and have manors. She is often comment that it is refreshing and flattering. It is all about balance and boundaries, and reading people. Anyway that is my opinion. Take care. Mark and Shannon - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
I wouldn't snob you if you tried a conversation on a suburban train somewhere. How interesting that conversation might be for me however is entirely up to your topic of choice. 😏 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Indy ..... you just gave other guys a brilliant free insight into the mind of woman-ness. People are inherently friendly to strangers. People are also disinterested in uninteresting communications. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes I am not in the mood to chat, and I am less than impressed when someone doesn't pick up on that. Mind you I always get the people wanting to tell me their life story, particularly any illnesses they may have had. I try to keep my eyes down when I am on a train... I do not want to chat. Grrrr
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mischievous made a few great points. I've been a wingwoman a number of times for guy friends. Both women and men do what I call scanning. When you're looking to pick up, you will scan the room/location to see if there is anyone you find attractive. If you happen to catch an eye first go... then catch them looking your way twice more, they MAY be interested. Everyone who's looking would love a chance meeting on a train or something but you have to select your approach based on initial signals of singles. Perhaps also you may not catch the eye of a less confident woman, but instead catch her looking away at that exact moment, a number of those signals could also indicate interest. If I'm approached and hit on by a guy in random non club atmospheres, I appreciate his boldness by giving it a go. So don't take rejection but accept that you didn't get a yes, but neither did you miss an opportunity. First hand Experience. ... years ago been picked up at a train station by a guy who became a good friend with benefits. :P - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just because women may be friendly to a random stranger does not mean she is wanting to be picked up or flirted with. Sorry ... That's just really shits me when men do that and then they take advantage of a woman because she doesn't want to be rude. double grrrr. The amount of times I have been stuck listening to someone, man or woman... I really need to present a more unapproachable face and learn how to cut people off. Something I really suck at.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What my life could be like if I said what I really wanted..... Next time I will just say. "Back off dude, I have a Strapon in my bag and I am not afraid to use it!"
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Body language and obvious lack of meaningful communication are also pivotal indicators of interest or lack thereof.....from what you are saying your body language is closed and if it continued god help the poor sucker....lol. Sometimes just giving that person a bit of time, although inconvenient for you; might make a difference to them. Again dependant on topic....."did I ever tell you about this one time at midnight on the beach...." 😇
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RHP User
12 years ago
I get them too meeka ! Xmas eve I popped into woollies and this weird 70 yo ish woman started telling me her life story... Only pausing along the way to ask if I knew the key characters in her story... It took about 15 minutes before she paused long enough for me to wish her a polite merry Xmas... And bolt 😄 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Will not only solve most of your problems BUT also be the root of some bloody hilarious stories to boot!!! Hahahaha
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yep you have that friendly face thing going on as well. LOL! I think it's because I automatically smile if I catch someone's eye by chance. BIG MISTAKE!! Hahaha.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I try to keep my eyes down when I am on a train... I do not want to chat. Grrrr Two words: head phones. Who would know if you're actually listening to music?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Look her in the eye.... wait for her to catch your dominant gaze.... she will either look away, or not. If she looks away, wait to see if she looks back. When she does, smile just a little. If she smiles back, congratulations. You have just "primed" the approach and determined she is at least friendly and not averse to you talking to her. What happens next.... is up to you..... I agree with most of this, though reading terms like "priming the approach" makes me gag..OP, yes, smile and say hi. If she looks down or away: do not approach. If she smiles half-heartedly, then looks down or away: do not approach.*And should she be happy to chat, look for signs she's interested in the conversation. If she is, she will be looking at you, your hands, etc. She'll have her body turned slightly towards you, and the conversation will be 50/50 (give or take) with both of you doing the talking..Like the women here have said, many feel it's impolite to say they don't feel like talking to you, but they usually give clear non-verbal signs, like sighing, shifting and fidgeting. She'll look outside, over your shoulder, at her phone, etc. Maybe she'll even eye the exit. If you're the only one doing the talking and she's only nodding it usually means she's hoping you'll stop. .So pay attention. You want to be talking with someone, not to someone. Or worse: at someone...* The animal person in me needs to say this: The same goes for dogs. If they look down or away from you: do not approach. Much less people would get bitten if they got this.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Gag away ..... it's simply language to convey a point using less words :-)
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