F56
Would you tell?
June 20 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Does his/her profile say they are single? Does the looking for seem like he/she is actually looking for sex or more so to "look around"? Would I tell? No I wouldn't. My cousins husband contacted me a few years ago on another site...I have never let onto him that it was me or that I know about the site, neither have I told my cousin that her husband is on a sex site. Meeka ever heard the saying "Don't shoot the messenger"? That is what is most likely to happen if you told, to him you would be the "jealous slut" that he turned down and to her you would be the "fucking bitch" who tried to ruin her marriage...I believe just let them live the life they choose for themselves... Some husbands/wives know what is going on....but it is easier if they turn a blind eye to it. Sorry no help here I know... xFunlovingx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd say "hello, fancy meeting you here". It's really not for me to be trying to impose my own circumstance driven principals on someone else's circumstances. HugsStalky
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Bubbaj
16 years ago
send that particular person on the site "hey i know you your so and so!" wouldnt that make em scared or at least very anxious?at least then your not telling the other person in a way but making the person with the profile feel self conscious?
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RHP User
16 years ago
id have a good look at the profile first see what they are after, then id confront them and tell them to tell their other half and if they didnt or wouldnt then hell yeah id tell i dont care if im never spoken too again as long as i know iv done the right thing....the other person has a right to know whats going on...there is nothing more humiliating then being the only one that doesnt know whats going on roxxy
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RHP User
16 years ago
If the tables were turned, Would you want your friend to let you knw what they have found.. I know for me i would want to know so that then i could make my own decisions on what to do knowing i had all the facts.. Goodluck with the decision you have you have to make.. it wont be easy either way
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RHP User
16 years ago
While you might be close friends with them, is it really your business to be intefereing or judgemental? For all you know, they might be trying out an open relationship and you discovering this might make them feel watched etc. Who are you to judge what others do? Maybe they might think it strange you are on the site - and I'm not picking at you here Meeka - just giving alternate scenarios. If it were me, I might shoot the person an email on the site just saying hello, you know they are here and leave it at that. If the person is doing the dirty on the other one, then it's likely they will run for the hills. If they are not then you might find they open up to you... maybe even get your thoughts... Not an easy situation for sure Hugs Wayne x
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RHP User
16 years ago
im sorry you went through that its a horrid place to be...like you a lot of people knew what my ex was doing but nobody told me...i was willing to stand by that man through thick and thin but the thought that everybody knew and was talking about what he was doing, hurt me more i think then what he did...thankfully i had someone that loved me enough to tell him it wasnt on, then tell me yes i yelled and screamed at the messenger, but only because i never believed he would do that to me....but after that i was also woman enough to ask her for forgiveness for my stupidity so yeah you will get shot for being the messenger but i believe its worth it to help that person out roxxy
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RHP User
16 years ago
would YOU want to know i know i would! But it maybe that they've agreed as a couple to try this, or maybe he's just looking. See if you can find out a bit more first, even answer him secretly and see what response you get. And if it is still all very suss then hell yes tell him you know and that either he tells her or you will! Try and think how you would feel in her position.zoecome
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RHP User
16 years ago
You're either cheating or your not. If you're cheating then your partner has a right to know. But then you have to think of some of the grey areas... is it a one off someone just wanting to try a fling for once in their lives and will never do it again and has every intention of staying in their relationship? Or is it someone whose really just living a fantasy online with no intention of ever meeting in real life (and we all know there are a LOT of those people on here)? In which case what are you accusing them of? I'd tell but I'd confront them first just to make sure :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree with Stalky here but would also make what I think is the following very important point:It's not my business.But not an enviable position to be in at any rate. You would be, as Trish said, damned either way.
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RHP User
16 years ago
This was a discussion I was having with some girlfriends and as you would imagine all of our points of view were wildly different. And yes it would depend on the circustances - and of course you never know what goes on in a relationship - I mean he/she could be on the site with other partners knowledge. Just thinking if it was me and a CLOSE friend of mine knew about it and never told me - I don't know - I think I would be pretty upset and humiliated. Probably more so with my friend then my partner. If it was someone I didn't know well I probably wouldn't say anything because I don't know what they are into. M
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RHP User
16 years ago
No I wouldn't tell. I am sure it would run it's natural course.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I'd say "hello, fancy meeting you here". It's really not for me to be trying to impose my own circumstance driven principals on someone else's circumstances. HugsStalky This was more about a someone you know well and obviously would have some idea about whether or not this is something they would be happy about or approve of. But agree this is a hard one. Isnt your loyalty with your friend. If you tell and they know about it there is no harm done - but if they find out about the cheating and find out you knew about it too. Wouldn't that damage your relationship?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't think I'd have it in me to tell my friend their partner was on a swingers site, but I'd certainly bring it up quietly with the partner and ask for their side of the story. If, after that, I felt like they were betraying my friend's trust then I'd reveal the truth to my friend.
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SassyRascal
16 years ago
Yep tell but make sure you have the evidence!!! Has happened to me n i was the one he was having the affair with!!!! Its just wrong..... He will dig himself outa his hole if need be..... But once a cheat always a cheat
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why tell? I have always found people stick there noses into other peoples businessway to much. Nope i would not tell. Due to my tormenting nature, i would at times when you are in both there company bring up the subject, just to watch for the reaction.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I tend to mind my own business, I get angry when people who haven't walked a mile in my shoes make assumptions or judgments so I'm not about to make them. I'd let it go or if I felt I had to say something I'd ask the partner what was going on. Got me buggered why people want to be the morality police over morals that were supposedly written in stone and carried down from a hill by some old bearded dude thousands of years ago. Think about this, what if you dobbed them in and they split up and one of them suicided? Yeh you'd be a faarking legend then for butting in.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Here we go again.....a bunch of people looking for the opposite sex ,same sex,males,females,couples ,groups,TV's and what ever ...judging others.You choose your life style but won't show your face.It's know ones business what you do...YES?Therefor it's not your business what they do!!!If I found out you wife swapped or had a gange bang should I tell your children or your mother?No I wouldn't coz it's none of my business.Have nice day:)))))))
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think you should tell, unless you are happy with the thought of knowing that there partner is cheating on them. It may ruin there relationship but a cheater should never deserve anything less..
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd butt out. Sweet
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RHP User
16 years ago
What a dilemma! Thankful not to have come across this scenario. Ponderous about what I'd do. Be tactful for sure. Hope it never happens.
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