F54
Would it be cheating??
April 22 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
And this is just my opinion, because that's what you wanted, it would still be cheating. I am a little confused at your post OP.... You firstly say that the sex at home is fantastic but then go on to say that you are in a slump/lost your spark?? And further more thought that getting out to play or socialise would help lift your spirits. I wonder, would it not be a better place to start by seeing big your hubby wants to play when he is home on days off?? Doesn't always have to be a weekend activity does it?? Looking forward to the other comments and suggestions and I hope that you find your mojo again.... We've all been there😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I can't help but wonder..... if sex isn't the issue and you are longing for social interaction..... where are your friends? DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
What anyone else thinks. The only opinion you should be concerned with is your husband's.
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RHP User
12 years ago
if your husband is on board with it - go for it, enjoy yourself
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madotara69
12 years ago
That was a short topic
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JohnAnn2227
12 years ago
Situations arise where it is not possible for both to go out and experience the fun. I have gone to parties at friends' houses without John due to him being sick, away with mates, no baby sitter etc. It was his idea for me to still go. When I have returned home I have always told him everything and shown him any pics that may have been taken. If it is open and upfront and both parties are comfortable with the situation there is no problem. This definitely is a time for 100% honest communication!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' That was a short topic But, I'm wondering if there is more to the story - something the OP isn't saying
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it's all good with your husband.....maybe go out with people who are not from RHP if you want dinner and a movie..then you won't be temped into sex:-) :-) :-) xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Excuse me everyone, I don't think the issue is sex at all, I think Baygirl feels guilty for going out and having a good time... no matter what form that may take..... when hubby is working. Baygirl, I am sure your husband wouldn't mind if you go out. Surely he doesn't expect you to spend every weekend at home?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have fun! You're a mum, you deserve some me time and it sounds to me like you've got a very supportive guy.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'bi_for_cpls' Quoting 'madotara69' That was a short topic But, I'm wondering if there is more to the story - something the OP isn't saying Miss Elle spoke.
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RHP User
12 years ago
the issue if hubby is ok with it but I agree with DG, where are your friends? If you are happy to keep sex out of it, maybe you should be seeking a social life away from your sex life.
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madotara69
12 years ago
We are your friends, in this little world on the forums, well it's actually quite a big world, the whole country anyway. So it's nice for a change to see someone caring for their partner, It's a bummer that your swinging hubby is away so much, and it is great that you can share this with us. Don't see anything at all that suggests you are cheating on hubby, only lonely that he is not there to share something that you both enjoy doing together. So you feel guilty for going out having fun while he is off earning the bread and butter. That is a nice way for thinking. Sure he would just love to know that. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
...if you're playing by your own rules.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey Baygirl, the partner you refer to in the OP? is that the 30yo guy who keeps you smiling? the one you refer to in your profile? What does he think about you going out on the weekends without him? He might be fine about it, in which case it would not be cheating at all?
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
You say that in the past when you went away for work or study you played without hubby and he liked the stories you would tell when you got home.So what's the difference between you going away and him leaving you on your own while he is working all weekend ?If he didn't mind it then he shouldn't mind it now, unless there is more to it than you have told us.Just talk it through with him.ET xox
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N4November
12 years ago
Is that we moved here about 6 months ago and while it has been very challenging, it was absolutely the right decision. As for friends here - I use to have quite a few living here but a number of them only left around xmas time which sucks! But I do think that I need to have some fun and kick up my heels! Like I said, sex isn't what I'm wanting but heh - sex is to be enjoyed and I love it!! Yep, I've been hit with the lonely stick and i do appreciate your comments :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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N4November
12 years ago
That I know that he has no problem for me to go out more and that makes me feel like shit lol!!!! A woman's prerogative perhaps? ? Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think....you need to harden the fuck up. Why?? Because if your partner has no issue with you going out, why should you?? Back in days gone by and I was married, my then wife asked me if she could go out with her friends. "Jesus!!" I thought. "Da fuck you asking ME for ?? You should be telling me. You're at home all week with the kids, you work most weekends while I look after the kids. Your girlfriend group is hardly ever in the same town on the same night!! If you don't go out I'll be thinking something's wrong" I said. She kept at me, and at me "are you sure??" In the end I said "enough already. You don't have to ASK me permission to hang out with your girls, so no more asking am I sure!" So she goes out, comes home at 11!!! I'm thinking "da fuck is she doing home so early??" She creeps through the front door and then ASKS me again of she can go for a road trip to the nightclubs. WTF??? Once again she starts with the whole "are you sure?" Business. This time I told her I was going to lock her out and I didn't want to see her until she returned at 4am drunk and horny!! So I ask you Baygirl. Why do YOU need validation to have a night out?? Your partner is cool with it, so where's the guilt from?? Seems pointless feeling guilty if everyone that matters have supported the idea. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I think we all get that at some stage or other... As a working mum when ever I did go out, I felt guilty, I don't know why just did - and I don't even have a husband.. LOL I just needed that time out to socialize and have adult conversations away from my mundane routine. I think we all need to do that...let our hair down a bit. We have to do stuff what we enjoying doing, for ourselves. My parents encourage me to go out etc etc and enjoy myself and make time for me, cause they worry I'm not living a life for me, but for others instead. I so totally get and understand what you are saying Baygirl. Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Moving to another place is difficult sometimes, I know i have done that. It takes time to find yourself, your role and where you fit in, friends etc...it does get hard sometimes and lonely days. It sounds like you've hit a slump and that does happen, cause it's new and exciting at first then bang! It's like it's just snuck up on you. I think it's quite normal and Ok when that happens. I understand your husbands roster as well, that doesn't help much with the situation as weekend you want to do things together. I am in the same boat too, some weekends i have to work and others are out having fun. :( However I have learnt that no matter what, I have to make myself happy at the end of the day cause no one else is going to. Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'baygirl2315' That I know that he has no problem for me to go out more and that makes me feel like shit lol!!!! You actually feel worse because he's so accommodating? I've been there. It sounds like you really care about his feelings, and perhaps you feel a little like he's too good for you? Please correct me if I'm way off. You know the saying "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy"? The better you look after your soul, the better you can look after him and your family, I think.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'baygirl2315' But I do think that I need to have some fun and kick up my heels! Like I said, sex isn't what I'm wanting but heh - sex is to be enjoyed and I love it!! Correct me if I'm wrong, but from your OP and from this sentence it sounds like you're wondering if it would be cheating were you to go out socially - not really with the specific intention of having sex with anyone - but then while you were out the opportunity to hook up did come along and you took that opportunity. Is that the kind of situation you're referring to?If you just want to go out socially, no sex, then you're more than entitled to do so and that would not be cheating at all. If you are thinking of going out with sex being a possibility then my advice would be the same as most of the other posters - talk to your partner about it. If he has been ok with you having fun without him before, then chances are he will be again, but you don't know for sure unless you talk to him.
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RHP User
12 years ago
it just comes with the territory of being a good wife and mother. You always tend to put everyone else before yourself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'baygirl2315' That I know that he has no problem for me to go out more and that makes me feel like shit lol!!!! You actually feel worse because he's so accommodating? I've been there. It sounds like you really care about his feelings, and perhaps you feel a little like he's too good for you? Please correct me if I'm way off. You know the saying "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy"? The better you look after your soul, the better you can look after him and your family, I think. Im going to summarise that by saying..... Baygirl... you're entitled to smile and enjoy..... and you're worthy of it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
(Still) who invited me into her home.. to sex with her.. WHILST her man was on a minesite, and watching Via SKYPE. I got a reinvite.. so.. it can't have been too bad for either of them..It was FUN Whatever works.. go for it..IF you need social interaction... "Go for that too!!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is it guilt though? But if it is...yeh I agree...where is it coming from?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think there's nothing wrong with it especially if he says it's ok, I often go away of business trips and have told my partner I would love if she had some fun while I was gone and then she told me all about it, I actually want her to do it - Posted from rhpmobile
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QLDtwo4fun
12 years ago
Just do what works for both of you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
At work today I was alone in the storeroom with a buyer and HOPED he would of made a move on me as I was that horny today I would of fucked and sucked him and LOVED it. I told my boyfriend this and he absolutely loved it and the story and said I would of gotten great service in the future as well as being regularly visited to place an order. If your guy liked stories in the past why not tell him. To me it is only cheating if your partner doesn't know.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'baygirl2315' Is that we moved here about 6 months ago and while it has been very challenging, it was absolutely the right decision. As for friends here - I use to have quite a few living here but a number of them only left around xmas time which sucks! But I do think that I need to have some fun and kick up my heels! Like I said, sex isn't what I'm wanting but heh - sex is to be enjoyed and I love it!! Yep, I've been hit with the lonely stick and i do appreciate your comments :-) - Posted from rhpmobile Hope we didn't have anything to do with it lol Mwah
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makoman22
12 years ago
is it because he is physically working to support u guys,aqnd u feel guilty physically supporting someone on top?sounds like your worried that things would be more than physical,as though ur looking 4 someone to have companionship with.if its not,then it shouldn't be a problem,uve been there before.goodluck
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RHP User
12 years ago
Go with your heart. If Hubby's OK and it makes you feel good, then go for it. Personally, I fully support that kind of behaviour and I think there should be much more of it! Just as long as your partner is getting his fill and not feeling let out, otherwise things might go pear-shaped pretty quick.Even if your relationship is strong, it's amazing how quick the "green eyed monster" will come out if he thinks you're having all the fun and he's missing out. Rocky
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RHP User
12 years ago
Go with your heart. If Hubby's OK and it makes you feel good, then go for it. Personally, I fully support that kind of behaviour and I think there should be much more of it! Just as long as your partner is getting his fill and not feeling let out, otherwise things might go pear-shaped pretty quick.Even if your relationship is strong, it's amazing how quick the "green eyed monster" will come out if he thinks you're having all the fun and he's missing out. Rocky
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RHP User
12 years ago
Educated people usually use their skill of communication to resolve certain issues... Talk to your husband about the way you are feeling. Only the 2 of you can resolve this one.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Hows it all going since you posted this topic in April? I just re-read this whole forum was wondering and curious, how it is all going for you since you posted this back in April?? Hope all is well! Foxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
To be honest you need to talk to your husband about these things and get it sorted between you not seek the opinions of these people that 1 don't really care about you ( like your husband does or should ) and 2 Probably just want to get in your pants. So they will tell you anything.. If he is really ok with you doing this then you are the one that is having the issue ? maybe you need to re confirm that he REALLY is! ok with this and have a proper discussion which by the sounds of it you have not had. Communication is KEY to any successful marriage open or closed. That is coming from a successful marriage of 10 years +
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's NOT cheating if you discuss your ideas with him before you go and do it? Is he missing out no not really as you can be open and upfront with him? If you don't tell him then it's cheating? If I had a partner n worked away I deff wldnt want her sitting at home alone because I had to work. Trust, respect n honour are the key points here...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Babygirl, hubby and I have the same situation, except for the friends part....... Due to hubbies work situation, sometimes he just can't come out with me and whilst I know that he is fine with me playing, I sometimes just have this unsettling feeling.......... However, I finally realised, it wasn't guilt, I was getting on edge because I missed playing with HIM, everyone else will always be an addition to, yes, I adore my friends, however he is my man and as such, I want him over everyone else............... When I realised what I was feeling, we had this amazing talk and now, if we can't go out, we do picnics in the lounge room, go to the local pub for a drink, and generally do 'special' things together........... I do hope you find your comfort zone
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RHP User
12 years ago
only he can tell you if he feels its cheating..or not...so ask him, not us. if it was my lady? if she did this without discussing it with me first, then yea, i'd be pissed and feel betrayed etc, as she would if it were me....but thats us, within the confines of our relationship, putting our spin on what it is we share and expect from each other.
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