F64
Withholding sex.....
December 27 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Don't see the point in holding out....just means you are also missing out! SFxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
don't really like it. My partner had a workmate whose wife would do this alot, she would tell me how she would use sex to get what she wanted from hubby, or to punish him. My mother would also do this to my poor father. Sure way to push your loved one into someone else's arms. I don't do this as such, but have been known after arguing to say no... only on the grounds that I really have no inclination to have sex with someone I'm pissed off with... it's usually only a matter of hours untli we're at it... mmm makeup sex, full of intensity and passion.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sex was a commodity to my ex....
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Smilingwithfun
13 years ago
Once sex is used as a bargaining tool,it belittles the person. It so totally takes away what a relationship is about. Most importantly, how does it make that person feel? If we are in a relationship,the last thing we want to do is make our partner feel less than us.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Withholding or using it as a form of punishment is SILENT ABUSE. People who do this are so unaware of the Emotional damage it is doing to their partner.It's very cruel and all about control and power - having upper hand as one would say.Mainly happens with PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE personality types.In a lot of cases people don't know this a form of abuse...Sad really... :(For me this is not a good sign of a "HEALTHY" relationships and I'm GOOOOOOOOONE!
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RHP User
13 years ago
just women who do this I wonder?My ex husband wasn't very interested in sex but I don't think he witheld sex to get something that he wanted.I think it is a very passive agressive thing to do ,sex as a commodity or bartering tool,is either an angry or cynical practice.I too have known women who do this and who see it as being part and parcel of married life. Perhaps it does keep their partners keen but I would imagine that eventually their partner will find an alternative way to fulfil their sexual needs and the need for intimacy too perhaps. I suspect that this practice is merely a sympton of a much deeper problem in a relationship.Many people have mismatched libidos,for instance,or are just no longer are turned on by their partner,so sex just becomes a chore,and it is then easy for it to then become a bartering tool.The thinking being perhaps,''If I have to I might as well get something for it''...sex as a commodity indeed.
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RHP User
13 years ago
because he was fucking someone else!!! I laugh about it now .... he seriously does not know what he's missing!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I suppose couples use all sorts of tactics to try and get their way or to encourage certain behaviour. Although I couldn't ever imagine withholding sex. Now offering sex or certain sexual acts to get something ... Maybe. "Darling, swap you a head job for a massage. " :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have never ever heard of it. My partner would never do it, If he's in he's in. There's no way he would ever cut off his nose to spite his face when it comes to sex, he's usually the one trying to instigate 'make up' sex and damn him to hell, it always works... I usually can't stay pissed off for long.
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RHP User
13 years ago
never worked, though.
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RHP User
13 years ago
In my marriage, it was punishment, 5yrs hard labour !But I'm out !
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RHP User
13 years ago
I still do. :) I think its called cunt collateral Depends on the relationship you are having at the time. If your not enjoying sex as like Freya said,then yes its a chore. I know several women who are not getting sex of their husbands, the husband of one kept saying to her You do not deserve sex, and would actually stop half way thorough and get up out of bed. Yes she has the worst self esteem issues and it did her no good to be on rhp. It just made her feel worse. another would try everything to attract her husband, the clothes, dancing sexy in front of him all kinds of things. He would push her away from him. She left him once and took him back because he kept telling her nobody would want her, and had control of all the money. I hooked her up with one of my models, not of rhp and she is now a new woman, left her husband. took control of her life. yes men and women do withhold sex, it just depends on their relationship and personal situation. I have used it a lot to get what I want in life. I have been offered a lot of money to have sex but never did, god knows why I would be a rich woman today. Yes Virginia I am a bad bad bad girl. now I use it to get what I want in life, as in lovers :) the value of the pussy allows every woman on rhp to get laid if she wants it. If you don’t mind a one night stand or some hottie in and out and gone, then there are cocks a plenty to be had by all. Its the stock exchange of pussy and cock
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mexicans
13 years ago
I like the last paragraph of Sensory , thats probably why we together 33 yrs . Being a sexual controlling person is prostitution.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can't go there if I'm pissed off or hurt. That said...I always had a policy of never refusing which I rarely broke.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thank you all for your comments. I didn't realise some men did the same. I've never done it and never will SFxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
And it's always a bull market !
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes the power of the pussy - I think Prince sung about it... The furry chequebook... I too have had many lucrative offers over the years but have passed them all up. Do I regret this? Don't know really...
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RHP User
13 years ago
It means ... Big Problem to withhold there is either no attraction/connection anymore or there is other issues
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ever.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Quoting 'Saskia72'God some guys make me shake my head and how frikken un-manly they are!!!DG You and me both!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Many people, men and women alike use sex as a bargaining tool. It is a power play, a control issue. It does not necessarily mean that the relationship is heading for doom or that they are just not that into you at all. It may be a conditioned reflex from former relationships and could need a little working to get around. We all have baggage....some more than others. You know most of us are on this site looking for a little bit of fun...maybe a lot of fun. Deep down inside most are actually looking for something a little more permanent to happen whether they admit it or not. We all need to accept that most on this site have been hurt a time or two. None are perfect and there are going to be issues...work with the issues or you will always be alone looking for that something else. . No I personally have never with-held sex, used it as a bargaining tool, reward or punishment. I really dont like to miss out and if I say no...then I do miss out. Never had a man do this either.
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RHP User
13 years ago
7 years ago I went through early menopause and as women who have ben through it will know among many other things libido goes out the window!! At the age of 40 I was absolutely devastated!! My husband decided it was just another excuse so even when I tried to make the effort and have sex he knocked me back!! 7 years on and we have not had sex since then!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
So do you guys have an open type do what you want thing or ... Sorry if I am prying, just tell me to shut up! That is just devastating... I could not stay with a man like that. Physical intimacy is a must in my life, without it I would surely dry up and die. x Mischievous, most of them were job offers, which I did sort of think about, but decided I didn't have it in me to trade sex for money.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Mind you, the circumstances were extreme, and its hard to feel like sex when you're covered in bruises and even breathing hurts. One wonders what goes on in a man's mind that he can put the bruises there, and then want to have sex, like everything is just fine and dandy. I know this isn't quite what the OP had in mind, but the question was asked.I can remember overhearing my mother saying no to my father on numerous occasions, although I think it was more to do with her health than any other motives. It still took it's toll on my father and eventually he ended up looking elsewhere. Then I was very angry with him for his lack of loyalty, but now... now I understand a lot more about sexuality and intimacy and I have changed my mind quite a lot. But that's for another topic.I think much depends on what is going on within the relationship and with the individuals at the time.Viking
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RHP User
13 years ago
My Mother used to tell me when i was younger it doesnt matter how big the argument is/ are , make sure food and sex are available for your man when he gets home , but did i put that in Practice ? " yes i did about 70% of the time" ...the other 30 % obviously i was so mad therefor no food or sex for him, so i with-held i can come clean on that , what i am amazed after reading all the comments up above , seems like nobody actually had done it to their partners , always been their friends or someone they know, are we being real here?...coz i doubted it very much, and i dont care if my Mom read this, yes mom i did with-held when i got so mad at him ...but at least i am honest , and yes mom i know you will give me the Belt when i get home...coz i didnt follow the instruction, but please Mom can we all just be real here ?!..i mean including you ,Mom.love you Mom, ha,ha..........
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perthangler
13 years ago
maybe your ex was fucking another woman because you weren't that into it cos you say he doesn't know what his missing makes me think you changed your attitude to sex after be left
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RHP User
13 years ago
create situations where sex is withheld. But these can be understandable. JayJay_66 .... that is a very sad situation for you. So sorry to hear it. Sex is such an important part of a relationship. I don't know all the dynamics of your relationship with your husband but I know that would be unbearable. 7 yrs of abstinence is unhealthy both physically and psychologically. I think I would have moved on. Viking Bitch .... no one in their right mind force you to have sex in those circumstances. But then no one in their right mind would have inflicted that kind of pain on you either. Hugs girl Bella_argentina .... I agree, if you are angry or just not in the mood then it's your perogative to decide if you want it or not. My question really was more about withholding sex as a power/punishment/control/manipulation thing over a partner or just because you can. Our mothers (in some cases) were brainwashed into some stupid idealogies. We are lucky that we have choices and are more liberal in the way we relate to our partners as compared to some outdated power play practices. SFxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
that I suppose with some women it's the only power they have, I was specifically thinking about women being abused, or women who have no earning power of their own due to being a stay at home mum etc. So I can understand where the above two comments are coming from. With men like this who use their muscle/earning power as weight in the relationship, they bloodywell deserve to have sex withheld from them. In saying this though, I just don't think it's a very healthy way to look at things because my father also had a fling, I remember my sister telling me that my mum had a huge crying breakdown type thing while I was out one afternoon (was sobbing and heaving and throwing my dad's stuff all around the house) I felt a little bad for her and angry with dad, but also in hindsight when I was much older started thinking about why dad had done what he did, she was always pushing him away and ridiculing him about the smallest things, and sex seemed to be a now and then 'treat'. I have also stated previously that I will put the foot down when we have argued, but it is in no way an intentional 'I'm not giving you sex thing', more to do with not wanting to fuck someone I am pissed off with, but we usually get over it pretty quickly and then can move onto sorting out the issue.
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wingman2014
13 years ago
I can tell you as a typical red blooded male that being denied intimacy by your partner is just the most devestating thing you can endure in a long term relationship. Its not just the sex its the build up of mental and physical frustration and the lowering of self worth. What do you do ? I eventually sought out a NSA lover after years of torment and guilt , I do love my wife and it was a huge dilema for me
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wingman2014
13 years ago
Saskia72 you are right in what you say and there is a lot to be said for make up sex if it happens
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RHP User
13 years ago
And I have done the same, but usually it was in the lead up to a dirty weekend in a nice hotel away from the kids ;-) all week I would tease, even going down on my partner till she was close to orgasm then walking off and leaving her hanging (straight to a cold cold shower) the anticipation just made the weekend all that more delicious ;-) That being said my ex did have serious libido issues and could go months without it at times. I don't think she was withholding as such, just had no interest whatsoever no matter how good things were going in other departments.
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RHP User
13 years ago
who really wants sex when they are pissed off? not me, i dont want anyone near to me.....and if my wifes angry with me ( a rare thing), i dont get in her face and pester her for sex...i give her space and let her cool down........never had sex with held as punishment...and would never be so disrespectful as to do it myself...its just another tool to manipulate and hurt people with , if its used as punishment, isnt it?
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think that us the most stupidest thing i have heard sex brings couples together try befor u buy lol, u can't love some one just because the sex is great, in other cases were there is love but the sex is crap - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'respectfullmale'I think that us the most stupidest thing i have heard sex brings couples together try befor u buy lol, u can't love some one just because the sex is great, in other cases were there is love but the sex is crap - Posted from rhpmobile I think you have completely missed the point of this topic. It is about people who are in long term relationships or marriage. You can't withhold sex from someone you don't know! Correction, you can, I do it every day....lol But as you are a "mature" young man you would know all about sexless marriage...right! SFxx
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