F57
Why do guys stand you up??
September 12 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Women do it to and for the same reasons. Some even get real narky when you don't sleep with them. The world is full of insecure people and insecure people that lie. It helps to be a bit cynical sometimes.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i will be the devils advocate here...i have had a few guys not turn up for one reason or another and sometimes they are telling the truth maybe he did fall asleep on the couch...was ment to meet a bloke once, he was busy that day but was hoping to meet that night....but he fell asleep on the couch and before you all say something, yes i believe him lol i have been abused by people for not answering msn or emails on here, because it says im on when in reality iv just forgotten to log off iv had a bloke that was ment to meet me for the weekend and not show because he was "in hospital after a bike accident" what crap lol....no it turns out it was the truth so maybe what he is telling you isnt bull, but the truth...maybe if you think he is worth it, you should give him a second chance...or if you dont, NEXT good luck and enjoy the forums roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Dont worry SPie, one of my mottos is never settle for second best - that's why I'm still single (bugger it).I try not to be too cynical RR, I really like to give out what I like to attract........you know "the secret" - like attracts like. If I attract something I dont like (like being stood up) then I learn from it and move on. It just annoys me that people do that. I mean, where's their sense of decency? Man or woman!I'm pretty sure he was telling porkies TRose, I saw him log on when he should have been be driving.Just as well I'm a positive person and know there's plenty more fish in the sea. Now, where's my bait.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
It does go both ways. Honesty is a hard thing when you don't want to hurt someone. But I reckon the people who are honest with themselves first, usually handle letting someone down gently. . Did he fall asleep on the couch? Only he knows the answer to that one. And you are not responsible for what other people do or don't do. I have learned however, that if a guy really wants to meet you...he wouldn't be falling asleep on the couch. He would have been calling YOU to make sure that you turned up :-) . Just my thoughts Jx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom. Now I would really love some more advice from forumites who are familiar with the etiquette on this site. I could start another post but as my question relates to this one, so I think I should continue here....If you are chatting to a guy regularly, is it rude of you to chat or even agree to meet (platonic meet) with another? I know there are many factors that need to be taken into account here, so I will try and be as brief as possible whilst giving you as much info as I can....After posting this on Sunday I logged on eagerly after work on Monday to read the comments left.I received an email from a guy, lets call him Barney, saying he wasn't interested in pursuing anything further with me. That's it, no explanation, nothing further. We had spoken by email 2 or 3 times then chatted on msn one night. We got along really well and agreed to meet for a chat in person on the weekend, but I didn't hear anymore from him.Then the other guy who I have been chatting with, lets call him Wally, appears offline on msn. We have been chatting on msn nearly every night and click really well, or so I thought. I know he was online because he was on this site. So it looks like I may have offended him too - will have to ask him if we chat again.Maybe it's all a coincedence - I dont know.Anyway, I guess my question is this......What is the normal etiquette for chatting to people on here, what do you expect when you chat to someone who you click with???
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RHP User
15 years ago
Call me old fashioned but think it is pretty easy not to stand someone up. Sure there are times when it is unavoidable but this is pretty rare i reckon. Never done it and never had it done to me. Maybe Im just lucky or maybe I should get out more often.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Same goes for ladies and gents. IMHO, it comes down to having the manners and guts to be up-front and honest. If they're always "too busy", or they can never make time, or they "forget", then it means they're just not interested. There's no good reason for them to play games like that, and I don't accept the "just protecting your feelings" excuse. It's gutless and rude. It only takes a few minutes to pick-up the phone and explain that they're not into you or there's someone else (cheating on a partner?). But if they lack the decency to communicate with you about an important issue like this, then I'd say you've dodged a bullet. Better luck next time!
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RHP User
15 years ago
men are funny things, they always think things are about them even when its not haha...sometimes it really hard to convince them otherwise too lol personally i will chat to everyone....i try not to have too many men going at the same time (im easily confused lol)...but i also have different chats with different men i have a few that are just friends and we chat often....i have one that wants to take things further and see where it goes....i have a bloke that all we do is whinge about the opposite sex and try and help each other...i have one that i just write dirty stories too and he sends them to me too.... so as far as im concerned you can chat with as many as you like about whatever you like...its your choice but remember what i said he may not have been online here...if you dont log off you linger online for a while good luck roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Just because someone is showing as being "online now" on RHP it doesn't mean they are. When I forget to logoff at night I get a stack of flirts at 2am in the morning (what is with that guys?). Also, I don't belive you can "click" with someone properly until you meet them. Too many times have I thought there might be some good chemistry only to find out in the meeting that there is not.Personally I think Barney is awesome for actually telling you he's not interested in pursuing anything further. That kind of honesty makes everything nice and easy.Regarding MSN, sometimes you just don't want to chat to someone... you're busy, or just having some quiet time, so you don't turn on msn. You're kind of sounding creepy stalkery.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks all for your words of wisdom guys - I love hearing different perspectives.And dont worry Polar Bear Girl, I'm definitely not creepy stalkery - quite the opposite actually. I'm just a learner and being observant.
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RHP User
15 years ago
This world is full of fools like him. Be happy knowing you are better than him and move on to someone more deserving. He's not even worht the time you are spending worrying about it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
It doesn't matter who does it to whom, there's no excuse for such bad manners. As it's unlikely to ever go anywhere after that anyway, it's better to just call (or even text) and tell them that you're sorry, but you've reconsidered and don't wish to meet. Good manners cost nothing... aside from the cost of the call...
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RHP User
15 years ago
From my experiences, it is better not to chat on msn. Rather have a phone call, you cal him, and if you like the sound of him then arrange a coffee or something. If you chat too much on msn, especially if the convo has sexual overtones, I think that they often get off on that. XX
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was supposed to meet my first Lady from this site today for coffee and lunch. Oh great no show. Sure i was pi55ed off but then I thought maybe it was better than wasting time and money for nothing. I did have a beautiful lunch, better than a home made sambo, so there was one positive. Don't let it put you off. If the people that chat in the forums are any indication I am sure we can all get something positive out of here. Excuse my ignorance, but where the hell is Warburton?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I just think there is no excuse for poor manners. Call me old fashioned but I think it's about a sense of decency and taking responsibility for your actions.Anyhoo.....on a brighter note, after my double vent I am over the whole being stood up scenario. I love seeing and finding out the good things in people. That's what I'm focusing on from now on. No point dwelling on the negatives.Warburton is in the heart of the beautiful Yarra Valley. Well worth a trip.Oh.......GO PIES!!!!!! Yeeeeehaaaaaa
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301428
15 years ago
yeah i think it works both ways there are alot of fake women on here aswell they just like to tease and fill you with lies and give false mobile numbers
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RHP User
15 years ago
some people just dont get it do they ???even if sex is off the table when you meet, you still meet. After all you would never know where it would lead to at a later date, be it as friends or more. so you (he) may not get into bed, but hey, you can never have enough friends
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's like this Chatta, tough shit if other people don't like it. You should feel free to chat to anyone you want regardless of who else your chatting to, dating, screwing or otherwise. Anyone who would expect you not to is being unreasonable in my opinion and anyone who would stop contact because of it probably has trust or jealousy issues. Unless you make a commitment with someone you really owe no explanations to anyone. You have every right and owe it to yourself to do all this on your terms not the terms of someone else.
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RHP User
15 years ago
about a year ago i got sucked in big time....started chatting with a lady then progressed to phone convo... arranged to meet in cbd hotel, she was to book it but asked if i go 50/50 , of course this was no problem. we had 3-4 phone convos and by this stage a level of trust had been achieved. she asked me to deposit $100 into a bank account for my half of the room, no probs, made the deposit, she was to call me next day to arrange meeting etc.......yup, she never called back. i put it down to a lesson learnt.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Bit niave there mate.....A lesson learnt the hard way! Thanks for telling us mate, it should serve as a timely reminder to all!although it is a sad indictment on society that it comes to this!Cheers Nev..........You really just can't trust anyone untill you know them!
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RHP User
15 years ago
We have guys confirm they will be there all the time & have excuse after excuse why they couldn't make it. Lets face it most guys are just full of shit. What we find is most guys like to fantasize but when it come to reality they are just not up for it. Just the way it is...strike them off the list & move on. There are some really nice & genuine people out there, sometimes you just have to look hard to find them lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well I must say that if I have ever agreed to meet then I will guarranteed to be there. I don't believe in being dishonest that way. But 9 times out of 10 the girl has been fake and not turned up. If the comment is that most guys are full of it, then I would say that the majority of girls just like to string guys along and fuck with their poor simple minds.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I so agree with you Rugged. There is nothing worse than a person with trust issues. I once had a boyfriend once who was extremely jealous - made my life a nightmare. Hence we didn't last too long. Life is too short, hey
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RHP User
15 years ago
it was more gambling than niavity....only gamble what you can afford to lose they say.....i actually thought "cunning B---!" and had a chuckle thinking about the sting she had just pulled off.... i mean, there are about 600 blokes online at any given time, i can only imagine how many others she had in tow, probably netted herself a couple of grand!...maybe it could have even been an organised gig with half a dozen or so women doing it all at the same time??? ....any way, i punt $100 on the horses regularly, so she was just another horse! in more ways than one! LOL!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Osiris69'Well I must say that if I have ever agreed to meet then I will guarranteed to be there. I don't believe in being dishonest that way. But 9 times out of 10 the girl has been fake and not turned up. If the comment is that most guys are full of it, then I would say that the majority of girls just like to string guys along and fuck with their poor simple minds. Are you serious? I have never had a no show from a woman. I have had a couple misreprsent themselves in some way be it what they are looking for or pics that are misleading etc. I must say too that I have been pleasantly surprised and met a couple of girls whos pics didn't do them justice. But every time I've gone to meet the lady has been there.
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RHP User
15 years ago
lolz Rugged... after spotting you at the Sydney meet and greet night I'm going to predict that there's nobody brave enough to stand you up... Man you're ... 100% all man. Once you've been to a club or two you realise that there are always people sitting in their cars in the carpark too indimidated to go inside. Being shy is definitely one reason why people stand others up. The internet and this kind of site helps break the ice from the comfort of your own armchair.. so some people are considerably braver here, than they are in public. Well, that's what I think anyway. Benefit of the doubt and all that. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' lolz Rugged... after spotting you at the Sydney meet and greet night I'm going to predict that there's nobody brave enough to stand you up... Sock puppets will grow teeth before any woman finds me frightening lol.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have to say....I have never been stood up...and have never stood anyone up...although there have been occasions in which I have had to cancel at fairly late notice...but I always make sure I let the other person know.In my opinion....the reasons someone would not show would be...they have lied about what they look like.they have sussed you from across the room and YOU have lied about what you look like...or it's just a total scam (guys...if she seems too good to be true....SHE PROBABLY IS!!)or they are shy.So....easy fixed.DON'T LIE!!Don't be silly or unrealistic.and shy peeps...chat til YOU'RE comfortable to meet...if someone is too pushy for you...then you're prolly better off without them.yeah yeah...JMO...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
i have been stood up many times... i dont know why and yes i have a few times. But the funny thing is i actually have had some family drama crop up. And i arrange a new time and meet them. So im not all THAT bad. But when i see them yeah then that is basically when i think it through. I have had some shocking dates that i have rearranged and thought "not for me"
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