What really gets you off?

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  PandaAndBri

  5 days ago

  I LOVE a man who is mentally stimulating. Who talks to me like a lady but also has something intelligent and interesting to say. Who gives beautiful well thought out compliments that drip like honey off a warm spoon. I am sucker for nice eyes. Whether it be blue like pools or deep brown like chocolate or green and sensual. He can hold a conversation but also listen to what you say. I love the gentlemanly things, guiding me on a date by gently touching my back or holding the chair out for me or the car door. A man who is confident in who he is, but not arrogant (even if he knows he has skills). A man who will stick up for women even if he doesn’t know them ( I see you guys in the chat room - so very sexy when you do it). Respectful guy I can trust with my body, even if it’s for the one night. A great smell. I love a man who smells good. Smell is a big turn on for me. To the physical side, a man who is not in a rush. Not a wham bam I am just here for a screw kinda guy. Who will savour my body and take his time to touch with out getting to the fun places in a rush. Who will not push and will go at my pace. Who will touch me all over in gentle flowing strokes before touching me in those places after a lot of play. Who will reconfirm consent and check in with each new action to see if I am happy. Individual things: long sweeping touches. Erotic massage. Fingers. Oral. Cowgirl. And the touch of body to body with missionary. I think missionary gets disregarded in this community sometimes but the sensuality of the body to body and face to face is amazing. Did I ramble too long? Bri

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  Sescalinata

  5 days ago

  Great conversation and humour. When you can chat comfortably for hours and laugh a lot it gets me thinking about what the rest might be like.

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  PartnersnCrime

  5 days ago

  Oh, how could I pick just one thing? Some days I wake up properly horny and honestly just the sight of someone's jeans fitting right can do it. Other days, no matter what's going on, I just can't get into the mood at all. Sometimes hubby brings me a coffee during a work day and that small thing turns my whole gut upside down. Chemistry between people is very important. With some people you just click, and from that point on almost anything they do works. With others, no matter how good looking, smart or witty they are, nothing happens. I had a friend years ago, we were even flatmates for a while. Lovely guy, seriously, great friend, so much fun and laughter together. We even ended up sharing a bed once at Hunter Valley over a long weekend when we couldn't get two rooms (poor guy, honestly). I just never felt anything physical for him, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself. Then there's the opposite. 10+ years ago I was sitting with my now husband, just chatting about nothing in particular, and he said "I just want to kiss you so much". I still get goosebumps and butterflies thinking about that moment, all these years later. So I genuinely can't narrow it down to one thing. What I will say is the closest I've ever come to an orgasm without any sexual act at all was at tantra events. That kind of arousal is on a completely different level, though it does take a while to get there.

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  Innocentprincess

  5 days ago

  Tbh a guys smile is the first thing for me! Also if they’re good conversation starters/ keepers (being a shy girl like myself it really helps me feel comfortable). Thing that really gets me off tho is if they’re can actually lift me up easily😂😍 something so simple but yet shoots jolts through my body everytime aha!

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  MrandMrsEss

  5 days ago

  I have been told I give great “fuck me” eyes but I think this is very much dependent on who I’m looking at. For me the sharing of those looks where you are almost certain the other is thinking the same as you is the biggest turn on. To get to the look, an engaging conversation leading to emotional and intellectual connection is almost mandatory in most situations. A lovely voice makes me melt faster, whether it’s an accent or just the melodic tonality. On the physical, past the feasting eyes the scent of a woman is truly the biggest aphrodisiac for me. Next comes the delicious first touches, whether they be seductively gentle and restrained giving the hint to a long, slow exploration ahead to the more eager and intense first embrace where you know the clothes are going to hit the floor as soon as you can both find an appropriate space.

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  seekandplay

  5 days ago

  Ok so I’m coming in with the other angle. Yes yes, all the nice usual stuff, tick all those boxes. My brain never shuts up. It is on all.the.time. So, mentally what really gets me off is someone who can quiet that noise. Dominate me. Hunt me. Tie me up. Deprive me on my senses. Take full control of my body. Let me know I can trust you and we’ll figure out what our limits are together. A man I can trust and who can do that, that’s what I get off to. I’ve been chased by two men in a secluded part of the bush before. One had a drone and gave me 10 minutes to run and hide. The other was told where to find me. That hunt, that experience is up there with something that really got me off. The thrill of the hunt. Dominance. Loss of absolute control. Yes please. Could I do that with any man? Nope. Need that connection and trust to make that happen. That and also not planning all the dates, that’s also what gets me off.

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  nutsundae

  4 days ago

  I might be at risk of serious oversharing here, but this question is actually quite profound for me. I even debated whether or not to jump in. See, the old version of me wouldn't have been able to answer this question. Not really. Not honestly. Not truly. It would have just picked some appreciable attributes, behaviours and actions - maybe even some elements of generic fantasy - and mashed them together into some sort of drawer statement. Nothing untruthful. Nothing I don't appreciate. Nothing I don't find stimulating. All sexy, horny stuff. Very believable. Just not the thing that really, really gets me off. I don't think old version of me actually knew. Or maybe only knew instinctively. Strange, right? I've come to realise the thing that really floats my boat is enabling pleasure. I absolutely love it like nothing else. Those complex, deep, intricate bonds between the psychological and the physiological - so universal yet so uniquely nuanced in every person. The pinnacle being those moments of pure magic when something wonderously beautiful is unlocked for the first time, or long thought lost and suddenly recaptured. The privilege of being present, seeing surprise accentuate a face rolling with waves of dreamy, ecstatic bliss, of being able share in a very special moment, fills me with feelings I can't explain. Hands down the hottest thing in the world. Leaves me on cloud nine for days. I've reflected quite a bit on the why, and I'm still not really sure of the answer. I wonder sometimes if its ego. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't put a bit of a swagger in my step and a cheeky, cocky grin on my face. Maybe it speaks to deep-seated insecurities. A need to give pleasure to somehow validate my own sexual worth? Maybe. Who knows. Might have to get a therapist one of these days to figure it out. Put it on the list with everything else😂

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  Unbecoming

  3 days ago

  I haven't thought deeply enough about it to really articulate why... but when it comes to play... I love dirty talk 🔥 being respectfully disrespected, lights me up 🥵 And I love to be told what to do... not out of a lack of participation or creativity, but the dynamic of being told exactly what to do and then watching my partner writhe with pleasure and praising me for it...

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