F72
Truly madly.deeply
July 26 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
The only one I didn't fall hard with was my hubby. I'm a huge lover it's and it's tough. I think there's pros and cons. The cons are that I experience more hurt, chest crushing, can't breathe, kind of hurt. But the pros to me are that I'm living. Real love is epic! It's raw, intense, intimate and something I would hate not to have ever experienced. So many people close themselves off because they can't stand the thought of being hurt. I try to be more cautious, but I would never regret falling in love with someone even if the feelings weren't reciprocated. To me it's part of living a full life. We always seem to run from pain, but in doing so we are also closing off the possibility of the most divine feelings. To me it's all part of being human and something can be taken from even the most heartbreaking of circumstances.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
When I say "I love you", it makes me feel vunerable. I only say "I love you" to my parents, daughter and best friend. For me, It would be a very rare occurance, if I ever did say it to a lover. I think, I told someone once. However I have had it said to me on a few occassions (more, in the heat of the moment). Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
How often do you fall in love? Ive been in love 3 times Is falling in love an intense rush ,without rhyme or reason,or is it a slow burn over time for you? generally intense but my last long term partner it was more of a slow burn Is falling in love a rare occurrence ,has it been a reciprocal thing or did you find yourself alone,in a one sided love affair afteral ? I've had feelings for someone who didn't feel the same but I wouldnt say I loved him.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I fall in love with every lover, and love each and every one for ever. No, I can't work that out either. 🤔 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to love at all.
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RHP User
9 years ago
After a lot of reflection over the years I think I've actually only been in love once in my life, with my first boyfriend and which is still my longest relationship to date. That was definitely more of a slow burn type of thing, at first I wasn't even very physically attracted to him but that changed and I did end up falling in love...and then out of love some years later. All of my relationships after that I now really think that it was based on lust / infatuation, I don't think I really loved any of them and I doubt they loved me. I don't think I would fall in love easily, and I fully admit that it's partly because I am reluctant to get too close to anyone at this point in my life. Yep I have baggage and I don't try to hide it.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Before falling in love with anyone, one needs to love their self first, before they can love anyone else. I think when this happens it brings freedom. To me that's really important to have. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
and it fucked me over It was as Q stated, the intense rush with no rhyme or reason It was intense, consuming, adrenalin pumping, life altering, passionate, riveting, beautiful, fulfilling, breath taking It was every love song ever written It was the best of times, it was the worst of times and then it was over It was rare and I am grateful for experiencing it once Would I love to experience it again ? HELL YEAH Oh, the exquisite pain
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah I fall in love with every lover too, kind of, knowing I can't keep them lol but I have to feel that way to be intimate. It's great, there's a warmth there some don't get, they think having sex is going through the motions. It's not, well it can be, but it's never great like that. Love in the moment, I always love in the moment, and sometimes have sneaky 'wish I was younger' feelings in between but happy to get to spend time with them
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Before falling in love with anyone, one needs to love their self first, before they can love anyone else. I think when this happens it brings freedom. To me that's really important to have. Ms Foxy I couldn't agree more with this statement. Its often the hardest thing to do but also the most rewarding. There is a quote I use with my clients often..."to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" - Oscar Wilde.xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
... where they defined love as : AGAPE - "unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone strives to have for their fellow human beings. Although you may not like someone, you decide to love them just as a human being. This kind of love is all about sacrifice as well as giving and expecting nothing in return. It is a committed and chosen love." PHILEO - "an affectionate, warm and tender platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. It’s the kind of love which livens up the Agape love. It is a committed and chosen love." STORGE - "It is a kind of family and friendship love. This is the love that parents naturally feel for their children; the love that member of the family have for each other; or the love that friends feel for each other. In some cases, this friendship love may turn into a romantic relationship, and the couple in such a relationship becomes best friends. Storge love is unconditional, accepts flaws or faults and ultimately drives you to forgive. It’s committed, sacrificial and makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe." EROS - "Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings; it is the kind that often triggers “high” feelings in a new relationship and makes you say, “I love him/her”. It is simply an emotional and sexual love. Although this romantic love is important in the beginning of a new relationship, it may not last unless it moves a notch higher because it focuses more on self instead of the other person. If the person “in love” does not feel good about their relationship anymore, they will stop loving their partner." On to your questions, Q! Is falling in love a rare occurrence? Yes. I get crushes and infatuations very easily and frequently though. I allow myself that because it gives me an outlet for my passionate nature and it makes me feel vivacious and alive! Has it been a reciprocal thing or did you find yourself alone,in a one sided love affair afterall? Often, it's reciprocal for a period of time, and then things fall apart when one or both come to the realisation that it's not going to work out and we should stop trying. I think I was very emo and hypersensitive and all that crap in my teenage years... so much angst and unrequited crushes, etc. Plenty of weepy dramas... Yucks! *rolls eyes... With age, and with a forced enrollment in the School of Hard Knocks (and the Institute of Hard Pumping, yes! I like it rough... Oops... my mind digresses when pussy takes over control of the joystick, pardon my distraction! LOL!!! ), I have mellowed much and hopefully am wiser and I no longer allow myself to be in a one-sided love affair. I used to be an Idealist and would saturate myself in all manner of paraphernalia and literature on love and would have a crazy, illogical, almost cathartic attitude towards my target(s) of affection but now, I am very careful, considered and sensible. I have learnt to switch on the more rational aspect of my personality and utilise my love of Economics and remind myself that "I don't invest in bad, loss-making deals". I know it sounds cold and calculated, but it helps prevent me from having my tender heart torn apart because I can tell you I take AGES for me to recover from a broken heart, disproportionately longer than it ought to. Grandma and mum used to mutter under their breaths that I'm too soft and tender-hearted and will have my heart broken badly again and again in life. I'm sad that I have to be so guarded but oh well, if I don't take care of my heart, who will? We can't afford to be foolish and allow our hearts to be ripped and torn to shreds again and again because someday, it might stop beating altogether. I remember a friend in my teenage years, drop-dead gorgeous, very intelligent, very tender-hearted. He fell in love with a superbitch of a girl and we all knew he was going to have his heart torn in shreds. We weren't close but I kept encouraging a mutual friend, who was his best friend, to stand by his side and give him all the emotional support he needed. True enough, she treated him like dirt and one fateful night, unable to bear the pain any longer, he secretly stole his parents' car keys in the dead of night, drove their car out in a fit of grief, and he must have been crying whilst driving or maybe he had a death wish because he stepped on the accelerator as he went up the highway bridge, lost control, crashed through the barricades, and landed all the way down in a ditch. He was pronounced, "Dead on Arrival". Unrequited love can kill. And it can put a huge strain on our hearts because extreme and/or prolonged grief does exert stress on our beating hearts on a physiological level. And so... one-sided love affairs... I deal with it by putting on an armour, rationalising myself out of it by focusing on their bad points and repeating to myself why it will never work out, and I force myself to move on. I also mentally pretend that I'm some corporate bitch (I sooooo love corporate fashion!), slamming the table on a bad deal, turning my nose up at it and declaring, "Poor investment decision! Not going there!" and then swivel on my luxurious leather designer chair. "Talk to my back, cause the face ain't listening!" LOL!!! If all else fails, I distract and numb myself by watching DVD movies and TV series. Or, I put on my favourite genre of music and dance until I feel sexy and foxy as all hell, pose and preen in front of the mirror and then remind myself that ONE mortal man is a dumbass in rejecting my love whilst there are a dozen vying for my attention. Whose loss? Give a big Amazonian "NO DEAL!" shout, and move on, sashaying away on my stilettos. Whose loss, indeed!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry Q... another epic long post!
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Grouse33
9 years ago
Romantic love, that is. I tend to think it's experienced in the same way as many other obsessions, ie completely internal to the person feeling it. When two people experience romantic love, it's really two parallel experiences. Parental, platonic and other forms of love are real, however. As is erotic love. Being opened to another's body, gaze, touch and all the other sensory overload can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes, especially when kissing, I can feel an 'I love you' about to pop out. Luckily I generally manage to stifle it with a tourettic cry of 'oh yeah!', a high five or a hearty handshake. Also, when you have time you should all rewatch the film Q got the thread title from. It's beautiful and my love of it may slightly undermine some of my contentions above. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I love the term 'lover' and that you're brave enough to feel it, live it and tell us about it! Just hot!!!! 😘😍 I knew hubby was 'the one', I lusted after him instantly and love didn't take long to follow. Personally, I love with everything that I am :) Im passionate in everything I do, that includes sharing myself with others. I'm loyal to a fault, trusting against better judgement and forgiving. Yes I've been hurt but it's made me a stronger person. However, if I'm hurt deeply, I walk away with no second chances. Mary xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you. Reading PurePeony above regarding Greek philosophy of love, I'm confused. I can't categorise my feelings... I feel that every lover has given me a treasure to hold forever, a little part of them. What's not to love about that gift? Sure, it's different from the love I feel for my family, but it's there nonetheless. I just think of her name and hold that treasure for a moment. (Oh hang on! Does that make me Gollum?!? 😱😱😱 Preciousssss... 🙌🏻)
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
I like that quote of yours too. :) Ms Foxy
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Sawadee
9 years ago
.. I tend to back away when things heat up . Currently I've been seeing a cutie every day for some time now. Not as romantically seeing her, just cross paths because of work and lifestyle. We just seem to hit it off and things have warmed up some. You know when someone is attracted to you by all the usual signs , eyes, flicking the hair, warm smile , laughing etc.. Reaching this point is where I seem to want to back off and I go into this less friendly mood which I don't really like about myself , but feel it's the only way to take a few steps back. I know she's feeling it because I see the confusion in her sad eyes... I feel like hugging her but of course I can't.. I'm not the type to want to lead her on , jump her in bed then adios unless of course she's happy to do that.. then it's different. Attraction creeps up on you sometimes...
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've been married twice, both great guys but don't think I have ever really been in love..... I think due to my growing up with parents that were alcoholics & violent - only to each other but they also love each other fiercely (It's that love/hate thing) I have never put myself out there. It has always looked way to painful. I love platonically and would give my right arm to those I love in this way. Maybe I'm missing out but you don't miss what you've never felt. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't love easily. I do however become intrigued easily, then of course infatuation will follow and then lust. 🙊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
But sometimes love hurts to damn much.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
My answer is complicated. Complicated by my 2 personalities. My male side has been in love several times in various depths. Married twice. Standard shit there. Me, Annie has been in love twice. Deep burning type of which you speak. The first time was before my male side was created. The second time I fell in love, my male side was totally on board as well. Both in love at the same time. That was spez. The intensity and depth. I can't compare mine to other people as they can't compare theirs to mine. But it's such an individual thing. We can only scale it to previous experience. There is no text book scale where it can be rated to a universal reference. And how can we rate the love that you got in return? We take them for their words. We take them for their actions. We can only judge their level of emotional engagement from past experience. We cannot speak for them. We can only trust that that the love is reciprocated. The two levels may not match. A mismatch can destroy our souls. But that's the great unknown of this thing called love. We give. We take. One has to remember. No one else is responsible for your own happiness. Give what you can give. Take what is given. Be happy for the time that it lasts. And when it finishes, take your memories and be thankful you have those. Our time here is temporary. Just as love can be. Love whilst you can. It may not be there tomorrow. Annie
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RHP User
9 years ago
Love never ceases to be defined, analyzed, intellectualized, talked about and written about. Why? So many act as if they know it...As if they felt it at some point. But many never lose the distance. And those who did love? For everyone thinks his love is unique and only a philosopher thinks it is not. But of course every love is unique. Does it mean if we think we are ordinary our love is ordinary too? Or we just remember how extraordinary we were? Answer to your question: I believe I still am.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
One has addiction to love, the other avoids like the plague! Ms Foxy 🏃
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