F50
To FB or not to FB
January 19 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Howdy summerof69, Your FB's, one after the other or simultaneously??? FB's do work, but then again, depends on the individual. Meaning frame of mind. If sex is all your after, and thats all you want, then it will work, its when you cross the line by telling them bout your bad day, or whats the latest with your family dramas and the likes is when it may lead to more if it is reciprocated (spelling??). If your the type of person who is fine with hanging out with a FB, general chit chat and DO NOT think bout them once you leave, then its fine, guess its when you cant wait to see them is when you know you want more from them.. Does that make sense??
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RHP User
17 years ago
That's the long and the short of it. It can work if both parties have no further expectations, but you really have to ask yourself: If this fails, will I regret losing a friendship for the sake of some sex on the side?
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RHP User
17 years ago
over the last 20 or so years i've had about 6 shagg buddies (or what ever term you find fits) and only 1 was a bad experiance. so i think it works quite well. given i've had great sex with people that were just good friends and some pretty average sex with people i've really loved. i don't feel there is much connection between your emotions and sex. good sex is about chemistry. emotions are about much much more. i feel the link people often try to draw between love and sex cheapens love to some extent. LRE(talking up the love)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Our experience with single guys has been that they just want to fuck then move onto the next piece of meat. Unfortunately most arent looking for chit chat as they class that as a "relationship".
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RHP User
17 years ago
a matter close to me .. being new to the FB scene ... I'm pretty clear what I want - great sex, experimentation, reasonable time together including overnight now and then eg not a 45 min fuck and run, and hanging out from time to time, just casually as friends eg dinner, movies. But not a relationship - despite what men think. The guy must be decent, respectful, and in charge :P But alas, tis rare I think. Guys tend to think the above list = commitment, dammit!
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RHP User
17 years ago
Few years ago I had my first FB, not exactly a fairytale ending to it, but we made it work for a few months. I think the trick is to not try and make it go too long. If you spend enough time with someone (especially naked lol) you tend to end up in a mini relationship before you know it. I think thats just something human, no matter how much we fight it. Its a lot of fun to try thou lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey Summer, I have to support Funkyclothes on this one. If any FB relationship goes on for a while with regular meetings it changes it's dynamic eventually. FB's work if you do not meet too regularly or exclusivley. FB's work well if you are into a group or swinging scene as you get the variety you may want with out the ties. But if it is one on one every couple of weekends or what ever, it becomes a relationship if you spend time together chatting or what ever..... eventually you have to talk about something else other than the small talk shit, and bingo unless your boundries are set...it's a relationship... Lilmissfussy is right about that, most guys do think that way. Sorry babe guess you still need to find the right FB. xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've had a few FB's in my time & trying to seperate the emotional from the physical is hard, especially after some "pillow talk", but it can be done. I have been up front with some of the guys letting them know that I'd like a LTR (long term relationship), most of them have stated that they only want to be an FB, fine no real skin off my nose I can handle that. Until I contact them seeing if they want to get together for an evening of fun & I'm told they've found someone they want to settle down with & commit too!! This has happened with the last 4 FB's I've had. Seems I'm re-introducing them to sex & building their confidence up in meeting women again!! I'm seriously thinking of giving up sex with people & just playing with my toys that way I get satisfaction when I want - no disappointment, no questions asked / answered, or putting up with the waiting around until they have time. That is until the next guy catches my eye!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
From my experience its about being up front from the beginning. If its your intention to just have a FB u have to tell the female. You cant string her along then tell her ur not interested in a relationship. You need to control emotions. You can listen to their problems, be a friend, after all, the FB isnt a prostitute. They have feelings and u need to show some respect!
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RHP User
16 years ago
FB can work but they can fail big time too. I've had a few FB's but unfortunately the ladies seemed to get too attatched to me, even when they knew it was just a physical thing to begin with. That sounds conceited of me but it happens. One FB wanted me to leave my wife (who has FB's of her own)! We have rules that we tell our FB's upfront. Number one rule was "no sleepovers". I wake up with my wife and go to sleep with her, NO exceptions! Other rules are a time limit for play (max 6 hours), one night a month only, no gifts, and ALWAYS ALWAYS safe sex. We have other rules but they concern us.
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RHP User
16 years ago
there great to start with but after a few times together your lives either start to clash or usually if the fliting has gone on for a long time before you have sex and have been resisted for some time the power of control can shift with one thrust!
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RHP User
16 years ago
i have 2 f/b , both are completely different , #1 is a go'er , he only needs 5 seconds to be ready again , #@ is a devo , someone i can get down and dirty with , i love the fact we arnt mates or buddies , I am being looked after for a change , i know its selfish but ,,,,, i have been making sure everyone else has what they need , NOW ITS MY TURN
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey, if you can get it all, go for it all!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'travisxx' Hey, if you can get it all, go for it all! so true!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hmmm, I am new to this FB scene. After 22 yrs of marriage failing the last thing I want is a relationship. I found a FB through friends and it turns out that if you are upfront about expectations there will not be a problem. Reasuarance helps as well, just as in a relationship ppl look for reasuarance, FB's also need assurances that you are not crossing the dreaded relationship line. Bye the way, I find the whole naughtiness of FB's just makes the sex even better.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have been on both sides.Been a FB and wanted a FB.Three experiences.One with a woman which went on and off for three years. The excitement did dwindle.One which was for 18 months which became a good friendship, so the sex stopped.One which became a fail, as after 4 weeks, she asked me to see her exclusively, then wanted to come to a family function.If you're going to be involved with someone sexually, over a period of time, you will develop a friendship. It's unavoidable. Unless you are just a physical being, it's always unavoidable. You're having sex with someone over a period of time. How are you to know what each other enjoys, wants to experiment with? How do you get better sex from that partner? You talk, ask questions. Have pillow talk.Developing a friendship is unavoidable because you are sharing some pretty close intimacy. And being friends doesn't take away from better sex. You don't need to be "Out of Bedroom friends" but you can still get to know a little more without becoming closely entwined in each others lives.Otherwise, you're searching for a new buddy every three months or so, because it just loses excitement.Choose wisely.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Easy, just dont do it with friends you would have coffee with, just sex friends only
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'funtime1205'Easy, just dont do it with friends you would have coffee with, just sex friends only
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RHP User
13 years ago
My view about fuck buddies whether male or female go for it if thats what you want. However talkingto people and what i have seen in life and dating sites, I thinkit work more for men more then women .. Some women do try it and work for a little while But i Do think Most women grow out of it as most women i think in time wants more then Just Sex and a Fuck buddy... As women think need more then just sex.... Just my view We all different i just think... got to be brutally honest to yourself dont confuse sex for feelings and or relationship.. sex can be just that sex... so on
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RHP User
12 years ago
I/we want a friend with benefits. I want the chat and have that intellectual connection when we are together....but once you part its back to our own lives until next time...I have had several FBs like this and its great. The connection makes for great chemistry and great exploration....we share wine and food and catch up on general aspects of life nothing too personal...but in between we have our own lives....I think its different for different people you just needs to find people that works for you...I don't compromise on what I need and I don't expect Fbs to either....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hello gorgeous if its what you want and your attitude is that way inclined it will work for you but it depends on the other person iv had awesome experiences where we both know what we want and can also hang out, but emotions can take over for some . Id love to b your fb
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RHP User
12 years ago
i this is unrelated i had a big night last night and got up to the usual i love it but gets me really horny and a friend of mine couldnt make it,problem is im new on this siteand dont know anyone else in the adelaide hills so if there is any women close thatwant a man to spoil you for a few hrs let me no, a long shot lucky i got lube lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I assume FB is different to friends with benefits in that it is more about the sex and specifically not about friendship. In my personal experience I find sex more satisfying when you know your sex partner better. If there's an emotional connection and once you know each other's likes/dislikes you can please each other better. Perhaps it requires a new thread, but I'd like to know if FWB can work as well. I'd like to think it can work. I guess FWB is more like a relationship but without the romance and exclusivity. I have met one friend on this site and we chat regularly via sms and have had some great hookups too. I think you can have whatever arrangement you like and make it work as long as there is honest, open communication and respect. Yes there are risks of friendships being burnt and of feelings being hurt etc but these are a fact of life in any kind of relationship so in my opinion it's better to simply accept that the risks are there and take a chance. If you hold back from everything due to fear (of hurt/rejection/disappointment etc) you'll miss out on a lot of fun.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have one FB which has lasted nearly 10 years, the secret is not to met regularly, some intervals have been up to a year in between .... but some of the meetings have been the best sex I ever experienced. I should say in that period I have been in several relationships ... and her as well. I think the reason why it works, is that there is no pressure from either side to be more .... I know her better than her partner, allowed her to explore her wild side ... some things she could never do with her partner .... as there is no jealousy involved. From her side I knows she likes out honesty between us .... we talk about lots of things ...her family ...my family ..her sex life ...my sex life .... work. we are both open to experimentation sexually .... and that is a huge plus ... boredom doesn't set in Is saying all that I have had other FB but they drifted off .... sometimes we didn't match sexually ... sometimes more was wanted but not given ... All I can say is enjoy the pleasure that another person brings to your life however long that is for.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Having a fb is fine is you set the boundaries and still become friends. I would not like to be just a piece of meat either! If you want the sex to get even better connect as friends and it will be awesome! If only I could find a woman with the right attitude to be FB's.
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RHP User
11 years ago
i had a fb for 5 years and it was great we hang and have fun no strings , then hse moved to another palce for work and thats where it ended would do it again with some one else
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