M49
Single men Vs. Swingers Clubs & Couples
November 08 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
if they didn't have restrictions then the swingers clubs would be a sausage fest. Now, that might work fine if you run a gay/bi club - but not otherwise.No different to a nightclub - show up as a group of guys, and you can either have a long wait if you're lucky, or they'll find that tonight they don't allow white shoes, or your hair isn't cut properly, or whatever. Whereas if you show up in a group with a bunch of girls youre ushered straight in.(at some places we've even scored multiple rounds of free drinks by 'loaning' a couple of the girls to another group cause they were all guys and had no hope of getting in because of it)
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playfulminx
16 years ago
Whitehawk... Given what we know of you and your experiences, I think a swingers club is the LAST place you should go to. You're low on self-esteem, confidence and a 'glass half empty' sort of guy so going to a club that is predominantly catering to swinging couples would be a disaster! Yes, some clubs let guys in at inflated prices but swingers clubs DON'T guarantee you sex, no matter how much you pay so yes, you'd be better off getting laid at a brothel. There are some great clubs (such as Couples International in Bris) who value single guys but clearly others may not be as considerate, in which case BOYCOTT THEM! It's actually NOT that great for single girls or couples to go to clubs where the guys who attend are there only because they spent stupid amounts of money on the off chance they may get some. Yechh..I agree that you're a reasonably good looking guy with all the boxes ticked in terms of what girls look for in a life partner or casual boyfriend but dude... your attitude!! There is so much baggage you are carrying that I really think you need to consider that it's coming through in your general social interactions. I mean, if it comes out fast and furious in the forums here, it must leech out into your conversations with people to some extent. To be honest, you sound like you're in a rut and don't know how to get out of it. You're inclined towards blaming everything external to yourself on things going wrong instead of considering here may be changes you can make within. Sometimes you have to make the move - move towns, make new friends, go on an extended overseas trip. Anything to give you a new lease in life! Until you can start reading your own posts and see what's written between the lines, me thinks you may be posting something like this again some time soon :( I really hope you don't only as it would be really cool to hear something positive from you :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
...ok I said I wasn't going to respond to any more of whitehawk's posts but just one little reply:Whitehawk, you ask these questions, how about taking heed of some of the excellent responses you get off people that really take the time to give you constructive advice.Look within mate, that's where your problems are. Fix them then you'll meet Miss Wonderful, who may or may not want to be used as the key into the swinger world!...just another 2 cents
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've never gone to a couple's club as a single male. It's too expensive and I think I would feel very uncomfortable, sitting around holding my willy, all lonely and naked in the corner with my sad puppy dog face on.... tongue sticking out at all the handsome men and pretty women.. licking my chops... wanking... all lonely and pathetic. Nope. I'd rather not spend $150 or so on a night and go out shagging 10 blokes in a gay club then have change for a pizza and a cab home... with $100 change in my pocket to do it all again the next day... something like that. Women should pay me. I mean... really... hehe.. I give as good as I get... it's not like they're doing me a favour.. sex is a shared experience. :p OK.. I might be seen begging quite often... but I ain't paying. :p Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
Whitehawk I understand your point of view and agree that everybody should be charged the same amount to enter, however from a business point of view I can also understand why single women get charged less, but it doesn't mean I agree with it.If you made your topics with some paragraphing and less bitterness, it would really help your cause. As it stands, it's pretty difficult to read, and the bitterness that is oh so evident in your posts sometimes makes me wonder If I should take it seriously, because at the end of the day it just seems like a big whine.As for the comment about an Aussie background, who gives a shit where you're from. Love isn't about race or ethnicity, it's about clicking with that person and their personality whilst finding them attractive. I am not from an Aussie background, goes that mean I'm not entitled to find 'that amazing girl'? You claim you are mature in each of your posts, putting down younger guys, but judging from your posts you seem to have a large chip on your shoulder. A mature person wouldn't keep throwing their insecurities out there and slating others, you might be financially secure, but money isn't everything.Not intending to have a go at you, just your posts are starting to irritate me a bit and I think more people would reply with advice if you were to structure your posts a bit better and with less bitterness.Why don't you tell us what happens when you approach a woman you like, how you approach them, what you say, and maybe the women here can give you some decent feedback and show you where you may be going wrong.
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RHP User
16 years ago
These sites can be really hard on single guys, and destroy a fellas confidence and self worth, and leave you with a very cynical view of the fairer sex, now what woman is worth that?eventually you need to realise that its time to stop banging your head against the wall, and get out and meet the real live in the flesh variety. Whitehawk i think that time has arrived for you. Go out and talk to real women.All the best and Good luck in the future.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't understand why you are asking about bi girls in the context of this post. Is it because you think that if you meet a bi girl then she will be up for 3somes with you and another girl?? If so, from what I have read on the posts here, I don't think that bi girls necessarily want to have 3somes. I think they quite often want to just play with another girl. You ask why clubs are needed, well they aren't. And probably the majority of people on here haven't been to a club. But for those who do go, it is a way of meeting like-minded people.A lot of parties/clubs exclude single guys because many females are concerned that they will be bombarded with heaps of guys, and a lot of females don't like that idea. If clubs and swingers parties were to charge females the same as single guys, then they probably wouldn't get as many females along. It is just reality.And lastly, what are you actually looking for? In some of your posts you mention wanting a wife and kids and in other posts swingers clubs, parties etc. If you find someone that you want to marry, that person wont necessarily want to swing, and conversely, you might find someone to swing with you but you mightn't want to marry them.On the other hand, you might get exceptionally lucky and find everything in the one person.
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Bubbaj
16 years ago
I totally agree with what she has to say. Everytime I do read a post from whitehawk it seems to defame women in general saying that everyone is picky and leaving him out. For me, I am shy and find it hard to just talk to men in general whether it be on here and to meet them or to really be at a bar and even get a hello. It works both ways whether your male or female and trying to get a person to even notice you when you have everything that is worth looking in to!Whitehawk, stop trying so hard and let it come to you. I find the greatest places to meet new and exciting people are at the social events that are held seeing that people are there to be friendly and meet new people! Try it!Ive met gaz.....gosh he's a sexy hunk! He is over my age limit (yes ur old :P) and definitely not the type of person I would usually sit and talk to but being at an event had helped in me being able to socialise with all other types of people. See Ya next time Gaz!
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RHP User
16 years ago
My point in this thread is that it's hard as a blue eyed Aussie to even attract women because it seems they all want the same looking clones.I don't even get looked at by attractive women,let alone the chance to smile...approach...and say hello!!!If I do I get a cold evil repulsive look or a nasty bitchy comment that just embarrasses me & destroys my confidence. I'm ex army,going back actually....worked all sorts of hard jobs,currently in sales.I can sell ice to Eskimos but when it comes to selling myself to a woman I adore...I can't even get a chance to crack a smile & say hello. So I'm asking women why you give Ken doll clones & married men all you attention,chances,affection & sex yet you reject guys like me?What is it you find instantly repulsive.Before I've even crossed the street,looked at you and smiled...you've summed me up & rejected me in seconds....why? I am becoming quite negative about life and it's because as much as I crave to be in live and happy with a beautiful women to spoil and adore...all I see is foolish women chasing players who will burn them and all I get is rejection....and I know it's not because of my personality because I don't even get a chance to smile let Aline walk over,open my mouth & say "Hello"
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mate sometimes you don't need to open your mouth for a chick to know ur desperate and no offence mate but I think you've reached that point. Not desperate for a shag but desperate for someone to think ur special. Women can probably pick up from body language etc that ur not that confident either. And hey we all have days when we feel less flash and less likely to score. I think you need to stop wondering why the good looking chicks are hanging out with guys you reckon are pricks. Do you really want to attract chicks that go for guys like them? Have to agree with others that u need to get out in the real world and maybe even consult a life coach. They did good for my mate who felt like shit after his wife walked out on their 10 year marriage. He had to learn a whole new set of social skills and stuff.
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RHP User
16 years ago
These aren't RHP events you're going to and the women you're approaching aren't women who have read your posts are they?Only joking mate, I lub you. x
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RHP User
16 years ago
hey mate you need to wake up to yourself you post does sound desprate swingers clubs were designed for couples wanting to explore there sexual desires with other of the same thats why a single guy gets charged more there not brothels or though some do cater for the single male thats not there purpose i'm a single white aussie guy 34 myself find some mates to hang with rather than go to those clubs which obviously cause you more frustration enjoy life for life it's self then the rest will follow get yourself some hobbies and have fun with those and then you'll gain confidence and you'll find then that people look at you in a different light don't try so hard and you may find you reap the rewards in more ways that you expect.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mate, every one here has made a valid point, your in a rut of your own making, and if you don't change your life and your attitue, then your life, your attitue and your love life wont change. I'm one of those over 30 white Aussie males you keep claiming are missing out, and when I was 30 and bitter like you I was missing out, but I got my self some help, I read some books and got some coaching and now I'm getting more action than I've ever had and it's the hotter chicks who seem to want me more and more.Have you read any of the stuff by Bessie Bardot and Geoff Barker, if not then DO SO NOW! You might want to read the forum "May be taking things to seriously" to see what everyone else is reading. There is a reason why most of us use this stuff, IT WORKS!Please stop putting up these silly forum topics, that make you look bad, and go and get the help you need.And good luck with it, RHG
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RHP User
16 years ago
lmfao Bubbaj --- errr..... thanks, I think.. hehe. Old?? Moire?? Doh!.... hehe. Yes, it's amazing the variety of people who you are "exposed to" at these RHP events... lolz. You should attend them Whitehawk you meet all kinds of fun people from inside and outside your target demographic... and it's fun. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't think asho has self esteem issues, in fact, going from all his posts, it seems he thinks too highly of himself, he thinks he's pretty much as close to perfection one can get without a six pack and killer looks and he doesn't understand why the "beautiful" people aren't going for him and is bitter about it. I'd have to agree with minx,you need serious psychological help, especially someone who specialises in disordered characters. You're such a perfect example, it's frightening.
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RHP User
16 years ago
This from the guy who said "Who needs a face pic when you can pull chicks on here in seconds with your six pack??" in another topic and then went on to make a heap of unfounded judgements about peoples motives and behaviour. If it's that easy, why not "pull a chick" and take her with you?Maybe you're putting out the same mixed messages in real life that you're putting out on here. From what we've seen you're varying wildly between desperate loser and arrogant buffoon. Perhaps pick something in the middle and run with it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Firstly... not sure what 'club' you are talking about... as there are a LOT of swingers venues out there that are NOT advertised on here.Some have the age range of 18 - 60 ... some are 18-45, some are 30+ that allow single guys in.Ok most parties that do allow the single guy to attend yes charge a heck of a lot of $$ - BUT that still does not mean that you will get any action (but yes you might see it).Most parties around (if they have a website) do not state players only - because all they are interested in is actually getting the ppl to attend, then its up to themselves to see if they can actually get anything on that particular night.List of clubs off hand... ours of course - Partyinsatiable (but that is for ppl who are 35-55 years), Club True Blue, Attunga, Liasons, Stillettos, Debauchary, Club Indulgence, Madisons, PlayPen, One more Experience, etc etc etc. So I have no idea what Club you were referring to for only one club in Melbourne for Single guys - as Melbourne is the Swingers Capital of Australia. Can I suggest you just do some research and it will be amazing how many clubs there are around that allow single guys.. (but yes unfortunately some do stipulate size, body shape and age requirements).
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