Partner struggle?

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  Can you expand a little on this please ? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  Your wording is a little contradictory . Is this about having someone (assuming the male) having issues seeing his female partner (wife) being intimate with someone else , in a 3 some scenario ? You have written "his/her wife" ?? If there are problems such as this, you should not be in the swinging scene / not be on a swingers site / not be engaging in 3 somes etc - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I can read your question as it makes sense, and guess what I will even give you some useful advice instead admonish you. * shakes head at DC, are you having a bad day or something? * Yes, I am sure lots of couples new to the scene stuggle with sharing their a partners at first. You have to figure out why that is though. Maybe it is a certain act that disturbs you or a certain type of person. Best to go slowly and have a few soft swaps at first (not full sex) and go slowly. Discuss afterwards how you feel and see if anything didn't sit right with either of you. Lots of couples have different rules about not kissing others or keeping certain sexual acts between themselves only and making that something that they only share with each other. And those rules can change and evolve as you become more experienced. OF course, some couples jump right in and go gang busters and have a ball and don't need any boundaries at all - everyone is different. One thing I do agree with DC is that swinging isn't for everybody and sometimes the reality of swinging doesn't live up to your fantasies. Human emotions are a unpredictable thing at times. If you are going to be jealous than that is something you need to work on. Only couples that are totally confident in each other can swing as there is no room for insecurities and doubts.

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  MsJonesy

  9 years ago

  So you need to talk together and find out why it happens and if it is particular activities which cause the unease. You don't mention how long if you have been swinging, but I think a lot of people who are new to it need to keep assessing and talking about what has happened and what the triggers were that caused unease/not being comfortable. Sometimes its better to reset your boundaries and ease into full swap play; try swap for foreplay only, see how you go with that. Candy Delicous is right though; there is no room for insecurities. If you are in it together then both have the right to the same rules of play; when one can't be comfortable watching the other play then you really do need to assess what is going on, and if you continue.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  If either of us us noticed this we'd quit swinging.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I love these forums, I'm new here and only joined as the guy I was seeing was on here and I wanted to see what it's all about. One of his fantasies is a 3some, I don't feel comfortable with it, at the moment, and not sure if I ever will.. he tells me it's ok because there is no connection between him and the other girl, but it doesn't sit right with me. What if there becomes a connection? Yes I prob have a lot of insecurities to deal with as you can prob tell 🙁 Im working on confidence and all that.. im not sure what I want, but I think that if I felt secure enough in a relationship that I may one day give it a go. I think yr right in saying u have to talk, communicate and debrief afterwards as well as set boundaries. I love reading all of the questions on here as well as replies and advice, those who do bother to reply seem like great people who are not here to just get their rocks off. And sorry if I've hogged yr post. - Posted from rhpmobile

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