M58
How to handle it when feelings grow strong...
January 02 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't understand the problem here. By your own admissions, you've had fun. Fun can last a minute, a month... whatever... why do you need to make definitions for whatever it is you are sharing right now? My solution for you is simple... cause that's the kind of thinker that I am... just keep bonking until you get sick of each other.. lol... and if you never do.. well... there's your answer. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Firstly, saddens me to hear of another relationship breakdown. Secondly, as you say, you have led a relatively sheltered life, with principally one women.To me, reading between the lines this sounds like infatuation, or puppy love. Don't get me wrong who knows where it could lead. Just enjoy it for what it is, try not to put all your eggs in the one basket, so to speak.Its a big wide world out there mate, take some time, use this opportunity to explore yourself and meet as many differentwomen as you can. Theyr'e all different, each will have something unique and positive to bring to the table.Sure some will be absolute witches on wheels, but its all part of lifes rich tapestry of experience.Good luck mateCheers Nev....Its better to have loved and lost...than never have loved at all!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I should clarify that we are "taking a break..." vs "breaking up..".... Thanks for the comments so far guys... appreciate the very real feedback... Wayne
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RHP User
16 years ago
Having been single for many years possibly very similar to your lady friend, Im sure she like me has discovered that real connection doesnt come along often if at all....and when it does and you feel that attraction that doesnt make sense, where your mind is their mind and the physical connection is seemless and all else pales into insignificance no matter what (sorry Im dreaming again ) ... why ever would you seek to turn it off ? It may never come again Wayne for either of you....... and you know there are ways to two of you can explore together withint he confines of a relationship.. dont let her get away..... you might end up regretting it .. Sassyme
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RHP User
16 years ago
ok I'll try to relate this one as an innocent bystander, but I'm pretty sure I've got the facts straight...........sadly the person concerned has fled this site due to "fucktards" as it was once put.You meet a guy on here, initially it's for coffee, but things heat up & there is an attraction & a fairly strong one as I'm lead to believe. Sadly, enter stage left, 4 idiots hell bent on destroying this lovely (no it;s not me lol) ladies sanity/wellbeing/life. The guy flees after 3 weeks of fun, only to come back as he wants to maintain a very strong & good friendship. No, he doesn't want a relationship - the lady finds out later he's semi in one WITH A MARRIED WOMAN.She attempts to keep her heart closed off to him, with the intention of meeting more lovely genuine men - but is hammered by some cruel people on here both in chat & via message. Sadly this has not worked & feelings develop for him. He does not feel the same way, but rings her daily, sees her a few times a week & is a constant in her life. He introduces her to his children/family, their friendship grows but is still one sided on her part. The harrassment steps up from the idiots & off she flees, never to return to this site.From what i've last heard, she was to join him & his children over the new year for a holiday break, so I gather the friendship is still solid. He apparently still sees the married woman with the blessing of this woman's husband (sick to me - sorry - vows are sacred). I can't fill you in on any more of this tale as - unfortunately - her closing her profile & with all the crap aimed at her from idiots on here, she refuses to talk to me. What was she looking for on here? Well, after a marriage breakup where most of the friends sided with the husband - new friends, fun & good times. Now???? We'll never know - she was chased off by the married woman via connections she had. How do I know this??? The married woman flatly lied to the guy, covering her tracks to eradicate her competition. I feel she semi won. The lovely girl is hurt beyond repair, vows never to attempt a dating site again & all thanks to one married couple on here.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Nice guy. Why deny yourself potential happiness? I was feeling the same as you and was going to break it off with my headmaster because it had gotten deeper then it should have. Both of us had stated from the beginning we were not ready for a relationship and we were very happy to just be playmates. Thankfully he bit the bullet and told me what he felt, before I ended it, or we would both be missing out on what we have now. That fat flying nakey fing, has a habit of shooting an arrow into ya butt when ya least expect it. Don't pull it out, give it a wiggle, i promise it feels real good. Now get back over to her house and tell her how ya feel. You have nothing to lose, only to gain. If she agrees with you, then you are going to have a great time with new experiences and lots of fun. If she doesnt, well you are where you are now really..apart. *pokes New Guy with her ruler* Go on..I dares ya..nup double dares ya. Some one has to make the first step, or you may have that ..I wonder what would have happened feeling. xx Miss Honey xx <<
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh Wayne, I don't think that there is a simple answer. I totally get that you're not ready for another commitment and you can't rush these things. I also understand that after essentially spending your entire adult life with one girl, you need to have a chance to spread your wings and rediscover yourself as an individual - and I'm not just talking in a sexual way *giggle*. For what it is worth, I am a great believer in destiny....if you are meant to be together you will be - when the time is right. S xox
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RHP User
16 years ago
Fact is Wayne, get stung enough and after a while you don't feel a thing. Keep playing bebe and live and let love. Hugs Stalky.
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RHP User
16 years ago
is gunna change anything wayne...if anything, i think it will make you all the more hornier...lol...and like the gorgeous sonsie said...there are no simple answers...ya either go for it or ya don't...so tell me...what are ya scared of...???...huh...???cheersjose...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey Wayne Tricky tricky tricky. It's hard when the head and the heart get confused...nothing makes sense and perspective goes out the window. I think thats when we need to reach for our inner wisdom. Our inner wisdom allows us to be true to ourselves. It's not necessarily a 'feel good' thing - it can be harsh in it's reality. Perhaps the hardest part of our inner wisdom is the acknowledgement of truth. But without truth we cannot move forwards to get what we need and thus get what we want. As humans, we go looking for an answer (and yes I confess, I'm an avid believer in the influence of the greater cosmos...aka Horoscopes...never found the 'answer' there though ) But sometimes we just need to tune into ourselves and feel the answer. Take your time...there is no rush. Sometimes, time is all it takes. xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Niceguy, mmm... been in a similar situation.... slightly different. I was the woman who was happy to play along with whatever rules "he" decided... "casual", sure I'd do that, "serious" sure I'll give up everyone else for you. But guess what... it still didn't work out ! Sometime I think it's not about the rules or conditions we put on a relationship but whether we simply open ourselves up to going with the moment. I can be casual and I can be committed but most of all I will be totally honest with the person I'm with. I always make it clear where I stand... what mess my life is in. If the guy chooses to be part of that then I'm happy to go with where ever the relationship takes us. If you made yourself clear from the start then why become a martyr and sacrifice your own happiness and HER happiness ? No one knows whats around the corner. It is better to enjoy what we have NOW than suffer hoping that tomorrow will bring better, for her or yourself. My heart and big hugs go out to you. If you lived in Melbourne I'd give you a big smooch... You REALLY are a NICE guy ! xxx Ms Saturn
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RHP User
16 years ago
I left this a day or two before responding further... just wanted to say thank you to all the comments... appreciate the thoughts given. It's hard and my friend too has read what you've all written, but for her it's a tad painful for her to post. Life will go on, fun will be had, hearts will be saved and all of you have my thanks (and hers) for your thoughts. Wayne xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe it would be a good idea to suss all this out before doing anything at all, apart from coffee.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Wouldn't it be great if things were always so black and white and we all had a magic on/off switch to our feelings! I think that you will find (and please Wayne (if that is your real name bwahahaha) correct me if I am wrong), that intentions were actually made very clear even prior to meeting for coffee. You just have to read his profile! (I have no idea what hers says, but I can only assume he wouldn't have sent that first message if it read..."I'm looking for a long term relationship"). Sometimes in life things come totally out of the blue and surprise us...our wants, needs and desires change...we go looking for one thing only to find something else that we didn't even know we wanted or were open to. Neither party in this situation were expecting such a connection...nor can you expect them to deny it now.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Que sera sera. That's the beauty about meeting new people. You never really know how it's going to work out and that's part of the fun - the anticipation, expecatation etc. Some relationships end at the 'coffee' stage whilst others scale the lofty heights of intense passion. Many fall somewhere in between. Wayne mate, relationships generally work while both parties know what they want from each other. Over time the balance can change and when this happens sometimes the lovliest thing a person can do is to set the other free. I hope it works out the right way for the pair of you. Spheroid
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RHP User
16 years ago
Just take every day for what it is... an opportunity to live another day! Life is about living.. so get out there and live! Find your happy place, and if that place is with this special gal,... then smile like a kid in a lollie shop and make the most of it! If not... then except that fate has something else in store for both of u.... and savour the memories of what once was. good luck, (and I'm taking my own advice!..again!) Its the bitter/sweet thing.. - maple-
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RHP User
16 years ago
My nice young wife has met several guys on a no strings basis. They know she is married. Next thing they are making subversive comments, like "wish you were mine", "would not let you mix if you were mine", "stop meeting others". Also, from just a one off meeting, to wanting to meet cam to cam every afternoon, and to drop in when I am away. This actually caused her to get emotionally aroused on one occasion. Always thinking of him and what to wear on the next date etc. Angry when I stepped in to end it. So beware. Emotions once switched on can be hard to switch off.
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RHP User
16 years ago
You are so right. Single men are subversive, Neverfar. Anonymous sexual encounters.. no repeat performers... they're simple rules to indulge. HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yup - Life is great and giving the gal some space and time has paid off for me in this case ;-) I think that's all I need to say to close out this thread... Wayne xxxxxx for all the great responses - thank youse all
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