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RHP

RHP User

F50

Flirt Alert...

January 12 2012

sex

Flirts you'd like to see but won't actually submit them... just for shits and giggles.. Ice Breakers* Dad, I've told you to close your account - I swear I'm just here seeking new friends and trying to fit into a society where I'll be accepted.To the point* Would I reply to your message? Possibly, it may not be the response you want. Your 'looking for fun' being the only descriptive in your profile really made me hot under the collar 'oh baby, oh baby'.* 3 Questions, when, where and do you swallow or gargle?* FYI - you're an idiot (aka bonehead, dimwit, fool, nincompoop, simpleton, twit, douchebag).Fun* Do you own a king size four poster bed? You, me, ropes *stat** Dot, dot, gasp, shudder, dot, dot.* You trigger my high five reflexSexy* NSA stands for Naked Squirting Association, feel free to submit an application.REPLIES* We can't exchange messages as we're both guests and shall continue to use every flirt until one of us buckles and pays for a membership only to find out we're not compatible at all. More self love required, Kleenex in the mail.*Your profile picture is instant arousal for me. Please send me more just cock/pussy shots. I don't need to see your face, nor do I wish to know if you can string a sentence together or have good hygiene *swoon**It takes longer than 3 seconds to actually read my profile, Big Brother is watching. Please try again - if brain hurts, seek medical help.♥VTx*theme music for this post is Let's get it on - Marvin Gaye*

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Ice Breakers - *I noticed your profile picture is most likely fake. So is mine. Are you in year 10 also?*I like that single photo of you that looks extremely tampered with. Want to exchange messages and see how long it takes us to start ignoring each other?*I'm glad you chose to use the site's generic intro line. It leaves me in a state of excitement for what is to come....To the point - *Jesus invented the alphabet with the letters 'n' and 'o' next to each other for a reason.....that reason is you.*You look like the lady next door. And I touched myself to her every night for seven years. So....ah....the answer is yes.*No. In this case it is not the quiet one I have to watch out for.Fun -*Look what Santa has in his sack for you!*I choose cat food!!!Sexy - *You just made me add the word 'amorous' to my daily vocabulary.As most of the above could fall under replies....we'll leave it at that

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    ICEBREAKERS * Saw your profile and though you might like to ignore me!   * It's OK I don't respond to them either   * I am the wrong age, height, species and gender but would you fancy a root anyway?   * It rubs the lotion on it's skin   REPLIES * Communicating wth you is like masturbating with a cheese grater. Slighly amusing but generally too painful.   * Sorry... it's not me, it's you.   * Dear friend, I have a bussiness proposal but require your a copy of Drivers License and a blood sample.   * You are the wrong age, height, species and gender but I would love a root anyway! Urgently

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Both guys above made me laugh with their replies!! Funny stuff :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Please see my photo - I might be wearing a full-face bike helmet, but it should give you a pretty good idea of what I look like Please see my photo - yeah that's the one, the group shot of 4 people - I'm in there somewhere I'm a guest, you're a guest...see we have that in common! I know I have already sent you 10 flirts and you said NOOOOOOO everytime, but maybe you forgot how much you don't want to sleep with me? Of course I'm 36 - have a look at my photo (dated June 1996)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I don't think this site like me, there should be a few gaps in my previous post...sorry dear reader.

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  • relaxedfun76

    relaxedfun76

    14 years ago

    Please use this flirt as a substitute for the notch on you bedpost you are desperatly craving. Nice photos I haven't seen that 18th sequel to American Pie

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    If I send you a message will you reply? I have to run to the post office and get paid up as I cant use my credit card cause my wife will see it on the statement Photographs. Gallery 1 is me holding up fish, Gallery 2 is more fish Into uncomplicated sex> Please do not wear pants of any kind. I will walk past you and drop something, like a fishing sinker. You can bend over and I will give you some rod Likes to go down for hours> I like to travel south in my Ute with the dog on the back, takes a while to drive down south to Margaret river. I like older women> please meet me after dark Likes to give oral> I’mm talking to ya aint I? Likes to get oral> hands you knee pads

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    I love it when a girl or guy says she/he will go down on you for HOURS! and when they turn up for the show....hardly even go there at all!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'tuscanred'I like older women> please meet me after dark Likes to give oral> I’mm talking to ya aint I? Likes to get oral> hands you knee pads *fits of giggles*love these VTx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    ...to someone special who was messing around with the flirts just for fun. It was that... "You are on the top of my "to do" list". | | | ...ARE my "to do" list. | I want you sitting on my lap as I taste your mouth and together we watch as I enter slowly and disappears inside you. We then intertwine, body and soul....kissing slowly and gently as the wave builds and washes us out to seas bound only by the shores of the universe. | See...they should let me write a whole new series of flirts.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Hmmm sure I have something to ad to this flirt list ~ I am luring Girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&Ms~ Hey..do me a favor and message me right back. Just hi or something. My friends dont believe retards can text. We'll show em lil buddy ~ Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I'm just texting to say goodbye ~ Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day...So don't freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU! ~ Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break…~ I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape? ~ I just made you open your message box for no reason...looks like I got you in check => ~ Hey princess, I Just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish there...it reminded me of you ~ Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know... I think your my favorite.~ You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there ~ Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me! ~ Let's fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid's name, divorce, and grow old lonely and depressed~ I don't know who you're boyfriend is...but he's not spanking you enough! ~ I just don't think we should do this anymore...Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    i have to say the first three where the funniest i had tears in my eyes

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Fun: You got a real perty mouth! Reply: Weeeeeee! Weeeeee!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'OOOo666oOOO' Hmmm sure I have something to ad to this flirt list ~ I am luring Girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&Ms Skittles please VTx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Lol Vintage I loved 000o666 etc comment too. I don't even eat sweets but could definitely be lured with an offer like that:P. Make mine M & Ms Minxy x

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    Quoting 'msminx3' Lol Vintage I loved 000o666 etc comment too. I don't even eat sweets but could definitely be lured with an offer like that:P. Make mine M & Ms Minxy x You know what - I'm feeling oh so generous tonight that how about we throw the M&M's and Skittles in and have a fiesta *cough, cough*notes that sweet tooth is not for the lollies...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    14 years ago

    " is it wrong to think of naked goats in a field of flowers shaped like your ass?....."" I looked at your picture and instantly wanted to do something my mother always said would make me go blind......but I couldn't help myself and scratched my eyes out with a fork anyway......"".. you, me, wet celery and a knee brace!.."

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