F63
Double standards with a twist?
November 27 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey FionaBee I am thinking I will have to join some "straight sites" as well. Not that keen but where else will I find men who are interested in more than a few shags??? Help on this - boys where do I find you? BUT - I think that men from this site and other sex sites are more than likely looking for one off sex - I don't think they think much beyond getting their dick wet and therefore the women from sex sites are usually a sure thing or as close as they will ever get so they are prepared to travel for it. Fair enough I say. If you are looking for love well that means putting effort in and seeing someone more than once, therefore the distance becomes an issue. Everyone is so busy, etc who wants to travel all the time.... Or am I completely lazy biatch?? I admit one of the things I look at on a RHP profile is distance anyone more than 15kms and I already think it is too hard. Although that is probably because I live in Sydney close to the CBD. Lots to choose from if I want it. xx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Is it worth going on the straight sites?? Can you really find someone on there?? Thanks Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
I dont know if it is worth it. Living in the country I tend to travel every few months anyway. I would rather play out of town than in my own little nest where I need to be very discreet. I tend to check out the guys away from here. I personally dont know of anyone wo has met thier life's partner on a straight site but many who have from adult sites. Funny that.
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RHP User
15 years ago
this fact has been mentioned on other forums before.....and the women who say it is so usually get creamed! And usually very little or no response from the men. It doesnt take einsten to know that the one girl to take home to mum and the one to use for sex mentality runs rife on rhp and other so called adult sites.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Glad to hear that! I don't know why but I just don't feel the straight sites are me. Although maybe I should give it a go. But maybe you are right about the double stds in the sense that men may not take women on a sex site as seriously as someone from a straight site? Although they all say that is crap and not true. But sometimes I wonder. . . . Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
when i joined here i also joined another and on that one iv had nothing...not a flirt not a message...nothing at least on here iv had my share of sex then a friend from here got me to join another dating site about 6 months ago and yep you guessed it...nothing roxxy
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Fionabee, I enjoyed reading your observations. Like Meeka, I also haven't been on any straight sites but will probably give a "classic" straight site a shot in the new year. Perhaps 2011 will require a new approach to relationships ? Sometimes I think I should just charge for all the sex I give since I don't often get much in return. At least that way I could buy myself a nice dinner ! Maybe I should start a blog comparing my adventures on RHP versus the straight site ? Cheers, Miss Saturn
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RHP User
15 years ago
I had a brief glance at the straight sites before deciding they're not for me. Essentially, I'm not offering what the women there are seeking. If I was a little more unscrupulous I reckon it'd be a lot easier to get laid there, because the women tell you what they want to hear in their profiles. All a man needs to do is do his homework and be comfortable with lying and using people and he's in. And I'd bet a buck there are plenty of men on them who are fully comfortable with that, although I might be wrong. Personally I like the relative openness and honesty of RHP...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Im curious, what do you ladies mean by straight site?
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RHP User
15 years ago
From some of your prior posts I thought you were in a relationship already? A blog would be great or a thread on secret women's business at least as I would definitley be interested in hearing all about it !! We should get a collective of everyones stories on RHP and I am sure there are lots of very interesting and funny stories and we should put a book together. What do you think? It could sell ! Cheers Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Men who could be interested in more than a few shags certainly exist and are on this site. They might be more than 15km away from Sydney CBD, though.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' From some of your prior posts I thought you were in a relationship already? A blog would be great or a thread on secret women's business at least as I would definitley be interested in hearing all about it !! We should get a collective of everyones stories on RHP and I am sure there are lots of very interesting and funny stories and we should put a book together. What do you think? It could sell ! Cheers Meeka not sure if any publisher would wanna be liable fer that piece of literature, ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha smile fer me baby, Earl
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RHP User
15 years ago
That was the issue. It was the fact that the same man on this site would travel to meet me but on the straight site he would not. And trust me it was the SAME man. He, of course did not know it was one and the same woman and still does not.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't think that's a double standard, it's just two different standards, each to suit a different scenario. On RHP he's probably looking for something casual, and feels traveling might add to the adventure. On the straight site he's looking for something more serious and permanent and is sensibly avoiding factors like distance which will compound the difficulties in making it work. I'd do exactly the same if I was looking for a relationship, and as I'm not looking for one-off encounters on here anyway I definitely filter according to distance.
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RHP User
15 years ago
The following is a right of reply: Fiona: why is it double standards of men, there are the same percentage of women on here that I have seen on vanilla sites, so I think this discussion can be gender neutral for starters. Meeka: Give the sites a go, you might be pleasantly surprised. Petticoats: And women do chase the ‘bad boy’ here but wouldn’t be seen dead with them outside of the bedroom. Okay now to the distance thing. Fiona, you are talking apples and oranges here. Whilst most on this site (again not gender specific) would be willing to travel for a night of sex, most would think twice about trying to start a long distance relationship. And remember that is what vanilla sites are primarily about, the big bad “R” word. I have tried the long distance bit and it just doesn’t work 99% of the time. There is no way I would give up a job with a 6 figure wage to move, and there is no way in hell I would expect a woman to give up her career, her family and her friends to move to me. Look I have been a member of both types of site and to be honest there isn’t a lot of a difference. This site is just like a vanilla site, expect people are upfront on what they are after and the profile pictures are a little more interesting. I actually get me ‘action’ from the ‘boring sites’ that I ever will from here, just takes a bit more effort and doesn’t happen on the first date (well most times it doesn’t). The difference is there is more chance of repeat meetings on a vanilla site because here it seems some are only after conquests – once the bedroom fun has finished, they are after the next one (another notch of the bedpost type of thing). The one problem of this site is people actually take notice of what you put in your profile. If you make it clear you are only after sex, not friendship, not even FWB, then of course people will just give you sex and nothing more. You get what you advertised remember. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Really Fiona? That is classic - although maybe you present yourself differently on the other site? Gold. To DevirginizemeStraight sites = dating sites where people are looking for relationships, love, etcAdult sites = looking for fcuk buddies, sex, friends with benefits
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ablokeimet' Men who could be interested in more than a few shags certainly exist and are on this site. They might be more than 15km away from Sydney CBD, though. I will give you that one ! xx Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ok Mooka - yes you are absolutely right you get what you advertise for. That is so true. I did recently change my profile but probably need to change it again.I guess women are scared they will chase men away? Yes we might want a relationship but that doesn't mean we want that with every Tom, Dick or Harry that we meet. Although I would reconsider that for an Earl Yes I love sex, yes I like to explore and experiment, yes I love being naughty, yes I might fuck you on the first meeting then again I might not. No I don't want a relationship with every man I meet but if things develop and things are going well and there is potential there I would like to take things further. See if we can have more. WTF is wrong with that? Meeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
I met the love of my life on here, and prior to that had tried a few straight sites but found the men pretended on their profiles that they wanted to date then usually hit me up for sex in their first message. That confused me no end, so I just came back here where we all know we want sex ... and next thing you know, fell in love :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
well,,,,its good to see you on this site, and with a new nick,,,,maybe better then the old one of Flea101.Well, your right in many things you have said here,,,,,,but it is so sad, that you are Hypocritical about what you say and write here.Yes, you have banned me form the other site, muchfor the same reason I think,,as what you say you want, and what you are prepared to do and not do, are 2 totally different things,.The thing is, that people like yourself have short memories, and are not good liers, as there are soem people out there like me, who have been around for a while, and I so know that that pisses you off when you are caughtout threading your BS.Well, people, i sure hope you are not taken in by fiona, it sounds like to me, that she is gathering research material for something, so I would be very weary what you tell her here.
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RHP User
15 years ago
My experience with straight sites has been that women who are interested in a relationship with a man my age tend to want a relationship far too much. There's a feeling that being in a relationship is more important than finding the right man. They're vulnerable and accordingly a somewhat unattractive prospect. I'm open to a relationship through RHP and I find the more level playing field much less complex. Sex is a really good place to start when it comes to evaluating compatibility.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I mean really... what kind of people are they? Bloody prudes. Who needs them!HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I mean really... what kind of people are they? Bloody prudes. Who needs them!HugsStalky It was a social experiment of my own. I love doing research and it was something that interested me ...still is. The differences between the two. No my advertising was much the same message. Mooka I have known people who have meet on line in different countries and have successful marriages. My profile CLEARLY states that I am happy to travel and relocate. All of the guys I meet on RHP are ones I meet repeatedly. I very rarely have a one off meet as the emphasis is on the friendship. I alos have no doubts in my mind whatsoever that I will eventually meet the man for me. Whether it is on this site or a vanilla site or through everyday living is undetermined and immaterial, but the odds are it will be from this site.
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RHP User
15 years ago
if a guy is a bit hard up for sex, travelling to get some on a one off or at least occaisional basis is no big hassle. when it comes to being in a relationship with someone, we tend to want them nearby so we can spend alot of time with them, without spending 4hrs on the road per day. obvious isnt it. some people are so cynical that common sense escapes them.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not only that, but it does strike me, Fiona, that you're the one who was conversing with this man on two different sites with two different profiles, and without telling him. That strikes me as deceitful and backhanded, and doesn't speak volumes for your own standards of behavior.
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RHP User
15 years ago
You boys are on your own - I am ducking for cover....................
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RHP User
15 years ago
well guys at the risk of being banned , i have another profile on a so called straight site , and am certainly willing to travel to see what happens sex or no lol , i'll be honest as always ... its hard to find the right person anywhere , here or there regardless of distance... but we continue to search with whatever we have in mind held firmly ..i've had some joy here and there and will continue to use all the resources at my disposal in my personal quest for the un-obtainable .. All luck and love to everyone where-ever you plan to parade your profile ! Jonesy76
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Firie666'well,,,,its good to see you on this site, and with a new nick,,,,maybe better then the old one of Flea101.Well, your right in many things you have said here,,,,,,but it is so sad, that you are Hypocritical about what you say and write here.Yes, you have banned me form the other site, muchfor the same reason I think,,as what you say you want, and what you are prepared to do and not do, are 2 totally different things,.The thing is, that people like yourself have short memories, and are not good liers, as there are soem people out there like me, who have been around for a while, and I so know that that pisses you off when you are caughtout threading your BS.Well, people, i sure hope you are not taken in by fiona, it sounds like to me, that she is gathering research material for something, so I would be very weary what you tell her here. Personally have no idea who you are or what you are about., Yes I was on another site under that name and obviously you are someone I turned down with an axe to grind. If that is so then griind it in private and do not air YOUR dirty laundry on the forums. If I turned you down or blocked you it was because you were being a serial pest. Please do not make tha same mistake again. No I do not do research for anything other than my own curiosity. As a number of people on this site have met me personaly at drinks nights, they are aware of whom and what I am about. You, on the other hand are an unknown quantity. If you would like to email me with the supposed BS I got CAUGHT OUT with it would make things soooo much easier as obviously you have been around so much longer than I and your memory so much better.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Cynicism has nothing to do with my posting this thread at all. More a desire to understand the reasoning why. I am sure that when beginning a relationship you do not see the lady evey night so one would surely not expect you to travel four hours every day. It would be extremely naieve of any woman or man to expect another to see them every day when we are all busy and work long hours. That is where the internet and texting comes into things. Surely if people in two different countries can manage it then people int he same state can. Darkhorse? Do you really think that everyone on these sites both vanilla and not are telling you the truth? Wake up and smell the coffee sweetie. It is up to me what I tell a complete stranger about myself. I have told no lies at all just have not admitted knowing him from another site. That is no crime. More prudence as he is the one telling the porkies...about what he wants and whom he is. He s also using two different names. Maybe that speaks volumes for him as well! Mooka is on both sites...under two different names...is he also lying?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' That was the issue. It was the fact that the same man on this site would travel to meet me but on the straight site he would not. And trust me it was the SAME man. He, of course did not know it was one and the same woman and still does not. Have you considered the other side of the coin? He would travel for sex, so if he thought he could get sex with you from the other site, presumably he would have been willing to travel. The fact that he wasn't willing to meet you might mean that he was acting morally, feeling that it would be disingenuous and hurtful to try to get sex from a woman on a site more focused on "finding love". Only he could answer that - I don't think there's much value in assuming the worst of the guy. Why not celebrate the fact that he might not be willing to take advantage of a woman?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I agree with you. In this day and age it is extremely hard to find what we are looking for. We all are so busy with our daily grind sometimes it gets difficult to fit in the time for fun anyway. I am glad to hear that there are guys out there that will tavel regardless. I travel as well. Otherwise I would never meet any one. Snowshoe as much as I hate to say anything against the sisterhood, I agree with you. Many women in this age group do want a relationship too much. They ARE vulnerable. One is the lonliest number and many have not yet learned that they can do it alone. Happiness does not necessarily depend on being half of a pair.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Intereting hypothesis...comparing a traditional dating site to this site, which has it's own traditions. In any experiment, you need either a placebo to determine the efficacy of the drug or the study is invalid...or at least a baseline for comparison. Here is a thought... | Go on a traditional dating site and post separate profiles...the nickname you choose is irrelevant to the research. Cut and paste your profile here on one...and the other, write some other more traditional profile and compare the two. Or it you have that much time on your hands become a clinician writing three...hot, warm and cold. | Would someone drive or fly for a few hours to meet you if there are hundreds of others within a more immediate proximity that matched? Probably not...you see, in that arena the scales may be more equally balanced, male to female. On this site, the scales are definitely skewed and yes, some guys would probably be more geographically inclined on the traditional sites. So what? And don't be lulled in to a false sense of complacency...the anticipated outcomes on both sides of the fence would be most likely quite similar. | Personally, I would fly, drive or even ride a motorcycle for a few hours to meet someone that I found interesting, challenging and even very sensual and sexually compatible. There's front page news...right? And quite delightfully, there are women here on this forum that I am sure would do the same regardless of how the scales are tipped. | You live too far away...is a rather interesting reason or excuse depending on how you view it. And a not so secret secret? Sharing your own sensuality and sexuality with someone is perhaps the most intoxicating form of communication any of us have to offer...and who knows, it may end up being a lot more than that and no different thant if the intention was to meet for dinner. Opps...we liked each other and checked into a nice hotel. And so the story goes... | What makes it different or unique or something that will be ongoing...is the two people involved and how they communicate. Personally...a traditional dating site would bore me I think. | ...there are only so many ways to ask the same questions.
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RHP User
15 years ago
There is a thought indeed. As I do not sleep much at the best of times maybe I will post different profiles and see the outcome. Many months ago, on another site, I changed my age every few weeks and compared the response different age groups got.Everything else in my profile remained the same except the age. Now that was interesting. Oh and for those thinking there may be substance in firiee666 comments about studying? I would hardly mention it on the forums if it was for any other reason than what I have already stated now would I? Now you all want to know the age group that got the most and the best response? It was the over 50's. Strangely enough with guys from all ages being more polite. Even young whipper snappers of 20 odd are much more polite to someone from that age group. There is indeed only so many ways to ask the same question.
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RHP User
15 years ago
But you can experiment on me anytime bebe. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hiding the electrodes now. Hmmm permission to experiment hey? Now I have already seen you in a skirt........
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