F73
Dates you would rather forget
January 18 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
hehehe... loved that story. Mind you, I'm not sure drinking on Bondi Beach is legal, so that would have been an unlikely situation for me. Love the eskie part most of all. A good friend of mine, bless his cotton sox, used to do exactly that everywhere he went. Didn't live long but played hard.It's been so long (30 years) since I went on an actual date that I cannot relay any good stories. I did take a lady to the blue mountains back then... drove all the way there, and forgot my credit card so couldnt check in... then we drove all teh way home again. The trip home was interesting, but we went out for dinner and shagged on the beach, so as far as I was concerned, it was an outrageous success.... and cost me much less than half what I was expecting to have to fork out. Frankly, we were dead lucky we didn't run out of petrol. You never know, if you are out there in RHP land, you might relay the date from her perspective in this thread! hehe. I'll hide under a rock now.HUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Im one of those half organized turn up late and half dressed , mismatched sox forgot my wallet oops the place was closed on thursdays lets just get a beer type of guy im alwYs doin something backwards and half assed ! Lol but im fun i have a great sense of humour love to laugh and share a few stories and jokes have a beer and just enjoy the simple life so wat im saying is .... Sorry to all those girls whose dates i ruined hope you had fun anyway and if you ever called back youd still be a friend of mine lol !!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hallmark days .. I always forget them..... gets me in a heap of SHIT
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RHP User
14 years ago
Who turned up in his stubbies and thongs and asked me to buy him a drink. lol I dont think so. The guy who said he was 50 and was more like 65 false teeth and fake hair. The guy that orgainsied it all and then didnt show and deleted his profile. The guy who wanted to meet me at his hotel not.
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RHP User
14 years ago
When I was MUCH younger Cricket Pitch where he was playing the next day Midgies/Sandfliey bitey things Small willy........teeeeeeeeny weeeeeeny nuff said
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yep done that but dead of winter freezing my bum off, and the cheeky bugger would not let me get on top. Not only that the next day I ran into him with his mates at the pub and they all started chanting Lillie, lillie, kinda got the idea he had been blabbing away.
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is funny.... I really enjoyed your story Tuscanred. I've had LOTS of horror dates but I've actually blocked them out ! I sat thinking for five minutes and couldn't recall any details. I remember unpleasant experiences but nothing came to me. I guess that's a positive sign that I've moved to a happier place ? But now that I've had 10 minutes to think about it.... There was this one time at band camp.... Okay well maybe that story has been told before. My story is about the guy from South Australia I met at a hotel in North Melbourne. I went up to his room and from the moment I walked in I thought, "ooops, BIG mistake". He had a large selection of various toys laid out across the room including vibrators, dildos, lube, diffierent types of condoms and an assortment of clit and cock stimulators. In fact many of them I hadn't seen before. He then proceeded to go through each of them one by one and wanted me to make my selection ! Did I want to use the black 10 inch dildo with the anal vibrator and the strawberry flavoured condom? I was speechless ! Luckily for me the guy got very excited when he started to undress and came without much of my effort (and NO toys used). As he went to the bathroom to clean up, I ran out the room and vowed to avoid all North Melbourne hotels forever ! ... Yep, this is a TRUE story. I could write a book. Miss Saturn
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RHP User
14 years ago
Was a guy from this site while i was living down south, we spent time exchanging msgs trying to find a time to meet and finally we set a time and date. By the time we did was more then a little excited to catch up the info exchange had be interesting and he sounded like he would be a treat.2 hours before meeting he sends me a msg saying his running late can we make it a hour later. I figure why not its only an hour and it was just a meet up after work. I head to the bar early have a few quiet drinks waiting for my date. Finally i get a txt msg saying walking in the door now i look up full of excitement i look up and see a guy walking in the door phone in his hand wearing gym cloths caring a gym bag. He walks over sites down stinking of sweat. to my shock and horror i was asked to sit around for a hour so he could go to the gym not shower ewwwwwwwww standards!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quite some time back l arranged to travel to melbourne to meet a man l had chatted with online. He seemed quite civil etc in our chats, and quite handsome in his Pilot uniform. I got off the train and walked straight past him, he was pretty grotty looking and nothing like his photo. We chatted briefly with him telling me about other ladies he had met for dinner, very pleased with himself bragging about sneaking out and leaving his dates with the bill. Then in the next breath told me l had to delete my profiles off any sites l was on and demanded l gave him my passwords so he could check....So l politely said l had just walked out on a 20 year marriage with a very controlling ex husband. See you later!!! There has been a few strange meetings but he was unforgetable
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RHP User
14 years ago
After a combined total of nearly 400 emails exchanged (yeah I know, I'm such an easy slut!), I finally agreed to meet a guy from on here for purely social reasons, no sex. I was only planning on sleeping with him after another 900 or so messages, and the 400 emails were barely a blip on my sexual radar.So we met for dinner at a local restaurant. Luckily for me, he was truthful about his age and looks and was as charming and funny in real life as he was online. After I paid for dinner (which I had offered to previously, and was totally happy with), he asked if I wanted to take a walk on the beach. "Oh shit! He might try and kiss me!", I thought rather naively. But I sucked up my nerves and agreed, and off we strolled, walking in sync along the waters edge, while I tried not to dry retch at the perceived 'romance in the air'. I hate cliches. Anyone, one thing led to another... and suddenly I was a little more naked on a public beach on a cold night than I had ever anticipated. Pretty if we had glow in the dark paint, my nipples could have been used as beacons instead of light houses to guide wayward boats on the bay! I was too cold and shivery to receive any sort of satisfaction from the encounter, but like a champ, I stuck in there and allowed him to continue.Soon after (ok, some credit to him, not tooooo soon), my perfectly made up face somehow ended up 'caught in the crossfire'. I copped a face full of ejaculate and my poise and dignity were now totally ruined. We sauntered back up to the main road where we found a bright streetlight where he was able to pick dried man-fluid from around my eyebrows, my nose, my ears...and then he helpfully suggested I go home by myself and have a shower to get the rest out of my fringe. Essentially, I bought a man dinner, had him spoof on my face and didn't even get off myself. Many months down the track, I was able to get him back when I tied him up and electrocuted him while I was on a sugar and caffeine high. So it all ended well. For me, anyway. For all I know, the poor guy could still be hand cuffed to the bed with electrodes attached to his nipples...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quite a while ago I was chatting to a lovely 'gent', intelligent, quick witted, beautiful smile - email exchanges, phone number swap, arrange to catch up for a meet and greet (aka - check each other out in reality to ensure all limbs are attached and alike). He had always professed to be single (as his profile states) and was looking for a friends with benefits type scenario.Met at a local coffee shop, an hour of chatting, giggling and all going very smoothly (killer smile and personality). All signs are great (insert a fist pump here for good measure)...I had to leave as I was meeting friends - Mr Foolish leans over and grabs my hand and tells me 'You're perfect'... ahh huh, gee thanks but for what exactly?Mr Foolish - "My WIFE and I are looking for a Mistress, we'd pay you to not sleep with anyone else and be at our beck and call. My wife is going to love you, can we catch up later so we can all meet?"It's not often I'm speechless*sigh*Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not one to be judgemental..... my problem with this was not the offer... it was the lies leading up to it that stunned me.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' This is funny.... I really enjoyed your story Tuscanred. I've had LOTS of horror dates but I've actually blocked them out ! I sat thinking for five minutes and couldn't recall any details. I remember unpleasant experiences but nothing came to me. I guess that's a positive sign that I've moved to a happier place ? But now that I've had 10 minutes to think about it.... There was this one time at band camp.... Okay well maybe that story has been told before. My story is about the guy from South Australia I met at a hotel in North Melbourne. I went up to his room and from the moment I walked in I thought, "ooops, BIG mistake". He had a large selection of various toys laid out across the room including vibrators, dildos, lube, diffierent types of condoms and an assortment of clit and cock stimulators. In fact many of them I hadn't seen before. He then proceeded to go through each of them one by one and wanted me to make my selection ! Did I want to use the black 10 inch dildo with the anal vibrator and the strawberry flavoured condom? I was speechless ! Luckily for me the guy got very excited when he started to undress and came without much of my effort (and NO toys used). As he went to the bathroom to clean up, I ran out the room and vowed to avoid all North Melbourne hotels forever ! ... Yep, this is a TRUE story. I could write a book. Miss Saturn Yep I think we all could write a book Maybe we should start a writers group a chapter each and I am sure it will be a winner! I was cracking up at your story,just thinking of your face when you walked in. I have this one I used to belly dance and a guy ask me to come to his hotel and do a dance No big deal, but I usually would meet them for coffee first. He had booked into a very very expensive hotel, had the best room in the house or more like rooms He had flow over from overseas...the length men go to for some crumpet is amazing Anyway I said just let me go into the bathroom and get in my gear, it takes a while plus make up yada yad So half hour later I swan out like Cleopatra, and stuff me while I was in the bathroom he was getting into his own costume He looked like the king out of the kids movie Aladdin no shit a short round guy with a huge turban on his head, and gold slippers with the big rolled up toes I nearly died I did the quickest belly dance in history , grabbed up my bag and clothes and darted through the foyer of the hotel still in costume before he could say SEZAAAAAAAAAAM!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Miss_Saturn' This is funny.... I really enjoyed your story Tuscanred. I've had LOTS of horror dates but I've actually blocked them out ! I sat thinking for five minutes and couldn't recall any details. I remember unpleasant experiences but nothing came to me. I guess that's a positive sign that I've moved to a happier place ? But now that I've had 10 minutes to think about it.... There was this one time at band camp.... Okay well maybe that story has been told before. My story is about the guy from South Australia I met at a hotel in North Melbourne. I went up to his room and from the moment I walked in I thought, "ooops, BIG mistake". He had a large selection of various toys laid out across the room including vibrators, dildos, lube, diffierent types of condoms and an assortment of clit and cock stimulators. In fact many of them I hadn't seen before. He then proceeded to go through each of them one by one and wanted me to make my selection ! Did I want to use the black 10 inch dildo with the anal vibrator and the strawberry flavoured condom? I was speechless ! Luckily for me the guy got very excited when he started to undress and came without much of my effort (and NO toys used). As he went to the bathroom to clean up, I ran out the room and vowed to avoid all North Melbourne hotels forever ! ... Yep, this is a TRUE story. I could write a book. Miss Saturn Yep I think we all could write a book Maybe we should start a writers group a chapter each and I am sure it will be a winner! I was cracking up at your story,just thinking of your face when you walked in. I have this one I used to belly dance and a guy ask me to come to his hotel and do a dance No big deal, but I usually would meet them for coffee first. He had booked into a very very expensive hotel, had the best room in the house or more like rooms He had flow over from overseas...the length men go to for some crumpet is amazing Anyway I said just let me go into the bathroom and get in my gear, it takes a while plus make up yada yad So half hour later I swan out like Cleopatra, and stuff me while I was in the bathroom he was getting into his own costume He looked like the king out of the kids movie Aladdin no shit a short round guy with a huge turban on his head, and gold slippers with the big rolled up toes I nearly died I did the quickest belly dance in history , grabbed up my bag and clothes and darted through the foyer of the hotel still in costume before he could say SEZAAAAAAAAAAM!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hope our date is'nt on your 'TO FORGET LIST' Cheers
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'tinquabell' After a combined total of nearly 400 emails exchanged (yeah I know, I'm such an easy slut!), I finally agreed to meet a guy from on here for purely social reasons, no sex. I was only planning on sleeping with him after another 900 or so messages, and the 400 emails were barely a blip on my sexual radar.So we met for dinner at a local restaurant. Luckily for me, he was truthful about his age and looks and was as charming and funny in real life as he was online. After I paid for dinner (which I had offered to previously, and was totally happy with), he asked if I wanted to take a walk on the beach. "Oh shit! He might try and kiss me!", I thought rather naively. But I sucked up my nerves and agreed, and off we strolled, walking in sync along the waters edge, while I tried not to dry retch at the perceived 'romance in the air'. I hate cliches. Anyone, one thing led to another... and suddenly I was a little more naked on a public beach on a cold night than I had ever anticipated. Pretty if we had glow in the dark paint, my nipples could have been used as beacons instead of light houses to guide wayward boats on the bay! I was too cold and shivery to receive any sort of satisfaction from the encounter, but like a champ, I stuck in there and allowed him to continue.Soon after (ok, some credit to him, not tooooo soon), my perfectly made up face somehow ended up 'caught in the crossfire'. I copped a face full of ejaculate and my poise and dignity were now totally ruined. We sauntered back up to the main road where we found a bright streetlight where he was able to pick dried man-fluid from around my eyebrows, my nose, my ears...and then he helpfully suggested I go home by myself and have a shower to get the rest out of my fringe. Essentially, I bought a man dinner, had him spoof on my face and didn't even get off myself. Many months down the track, I was able to get him back when I tied him up and electrocuted him while I was on a sugar and caffeine high. So it all ended well. For me, anyway. For all I know, the poor guy could still be hand cuffed to the bed with electrodes attached to his nipples... well, what did you expect tinq. you did elude to the cliche of it all yet against your better judgement thought it would what? turn out any different? hahanow if he threw in a twilight play at a childrens playground (void of children obviously), things most certainly wouldve ended better for you. live and learn and listen to your gut.thus endeth the sermon. haha
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Vintagetatu' Quite a while ago I was chatting to a lovely 'gent', intelligent, quick witted, beautiful smile - email exchanges, phone number swap, arrange to catch up for a meet and greet (aka - check each other out in reality to ensure all limbs are attached and alike). He had always professed to be single (as his profile states) and was looking for a friends with benefits type scenario.Met at a local coffee shop, an hour of chatting, giggling and all going very smoothly (killer smile and personality). All signs are great (insert a fist pump here for good measure)...I had to leave as I was meeting friends - Mr Foolish leans over and grabs my hand and tells me 'You're perfect'... ahh huh, gee thanks but for what exactly?Mr Foolish - "My WIFE and I are looking for a Mistress, we'd pay you to not sleep with anyone else and be at our beck and call. My wife is going to love you, can we catch up later so we can all meet?"It's not often I'm speechless*sigh*Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not one to be judgemental..... my problem with this was not the offer... it was the lies leading up to it that stunned me. well vinnie, where was your shit detector at? back in the country??meet you at the playground. i will bring the sports bag full of goodies and a tarp. classy.now thats a real date!!!!!!!moohahaha
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'tinquabell' After a combined total of nearly 400 emails exchanged (yeah I know, I'm such an easy slut!), I finally agreed to meet a guy from on here for purely social reasons, no sex. I was only planning on sleeping with him after another 900 or so messages, and the 400 emails were barely a blip on my sexual radar.So we met for dinner at a local restaurant. Luckily for me, he was truthful about his age and looks and was as charming and funny in real life as he was online. After I paid for dinner (which I had offered to previously, and was totally happy with), he asked if I wanted to take a walk on the beach. "Oh shit! He might try and kiss me!", I thought rather naively. But I sucked up my nerves and agreed, and off we strolled, walking in sync along the waters edge, while I tried not to dry retch at the perceived 'romance in the air'. I hate cliches. Anyone, one thing led to another... and suddenly I was a little more naked on a public beach on a cold night than I had ever anticipated. Pretty if we had glow in the dark paint, my nipples could have been used as beacons instead of light houses to guide wayward boats on the bay! I was too cold and shivery to receive any sort of satisfaction from the encounter, but like a champ, I stuck in there and allowed him to continue.Soon after (ok, some credit to him, not tooooo soon), my perfectly made up face somehow ended up 'caught in the crossfire'. I copped a face full of ejaculate and my poise and dignity were now totally ruined. We sauntered back up to the main road where we found a bright streetlight where he was able to pick dried man-fluid from around my eyebrows, my nose, my ears...and then he helpfully suggested I go home by myself and have a shower to get the rest out of my fringe. Essentially, I bought a man dinner, had him spoof on my face and didn't even get off myself. Many months down the track, I was able to get him back when I tied him up and electrocuted him while I was on a sugar and caffeine high. So it all ended well. For me, anyway. For all I know, the poor guy could still be hand cuffed to the bed with electrodes attached to his nipples... In his defence, I heard he gave you dark chocolate before during and after, which he got for free, and several dozen orgasms over the next year. Also this mystery lothario could have said you had nothing on your face. Not a complete arsehole, it seems. Plus you slapped him good and proper when you electrified his nipples. So I heard.RA
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RHP User
14 years ago
I met a woman from this site over a year ago...maybe more, had planned a nice late lunch with option to "stay or go" and had quite a nice time over lunch, lights all turned green so we decided to stay. Up to my suite (staying in the city for a few days...a conference starting the next day with a ridiculous early/late start schedule) and all seemed to be going along well in the prelims and warm up until... | ...she asks if I like the "RHP women" and proceeds to start providing details down to the name, rank, serial number and some stories that I am drop over dead sure the people involved would not want told (if in fact they were true or happened that way) and I sure as hell didn't want to hear the or later become part of the 7:00 PM Project myself. So quickly deferred the stories by putting something in her mouth (just to shut her up, of course) and managed to do the deed in record time before sneaking off into the bathroom and calling my own mobile phone. I now know why they put the phones in the bathrooms at the nicer venues in the city. | "Oh nooooo, the office called and I have to leave to go help prepare for the conference" he said, lying through his teeth "you're great so maybe we can try this again at a later date". A painless departure but the later date I had in mind was sometime in the first week after it was announced that hell had just frozen over. | Note: No animals were harmed in the telling of this true story and all information provided has long since been forgotten or dismissed as inconclusive evidence of anything other than someone with extremely poor judgment and even less respect for those that she called friends.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' I met a woman from this site over a year ago...maybe more, had planned a nice late lunch with option to "stay or go" and had quite a nice time over lunch, lights all turned green so we decided to stay. Up to my suite (staying in the city for a few days...a conference starting the next day with a ridiculous early/late start schedule) and all seemed to be going along well in the prelims and warm up until... | ...she asks if I like the "RHP women" and proceeds to start providing details down to the name, rank, serial number and some stories that I am drop over dead sure the people involved would not want told (if in fact they were true or happened that way) and I sure as hell didn't want to hear the or later become part of the 7:00 PM Project myself. So quickly deferred the stories by putting something in her mouth (just to shut her up, of course) and managed to do the deed in record time before sneaking off into the bathroom and calling my own mobile phone. I now know why they put the phones in the bathrooms at the nicer venues in the city. | "Oh nooooo, the office called and I have to leave to go help prepare for the conference" he said, lying through his teeth "you're great so maybe we can try this again at a later date". A painless departure but the later date I had in mind was sometime in the first week after it was announced that hell had just frozen over. | Note: No animals were harmed in the telling of this true story and all information provided has long since been forgotten or dismissed as inconclusive evidence of anything other than someone with extremely poor judgment and even less respect for those that she called friends. Dam it Midnight, I just made up all those stories so you thought I would be interesting, and not find out I was actually a virgin. When you went to the bathroom I went through your mobile phone and I did see the message from Bathroom , so I knew what you were up to you sneaky thing. I also went through your brief case and your briefs. That idea you had was brilliant and I am going to steal it and patent it. Who had thought that wallets that grow bigger and bigger with each rubbing would be such a winner. Are they made out of foreskin? Its chilly now, and ice is forming on the pond so any time soon you should be knocking at my door. I did put you on the 7pm red hot pie news. News item , “man seen hiding outside of his hotel room on a ledge.”
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RHP User
14 years ago
8 Dec, 1980April 5, 1994March 11, 1996Dec 26, 2004Feb 7, 2009Sept 11, 2001And then there's the time the really large dude bent over in front of me at the nude beach, that was a date I'd rather I never saw.Mr Chick
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RHP User
14 years ago
While one side of the story is generally horrifying enough - it'd be hilarious if you could get the other parties version of events for context. . I'm guessing TuscanRed's other half is pretty down on her because he lugged all those beers down to the beach and she wouldn't even have one. Or put out! What a fucking cock-tease! . Stalky's other half would recall the time they drove through the windy blue mountain roads, dodging kangaroos, odd looking asian girls collecting firewood and fighting off car sickness only to discover she would need to hold down lunch for the return trip. . Kinqs - If you hadn't gone all defensive and blocked his jism the night might have ended with his favourite 'let's see how far I shot my load in the dark - don't worry it glows a little' game and you'd have to have found a baby wipe that's safe to use on fairy penguins...
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RHP User
14 years ago
...for the holdings of VT Pty. Ltd. correctly formatted in PowerPoint then it's not out of the question? | Quoting 'Vintagetatu'Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not one to be judgmental..... my problem with this was not the offer. | First there is the due diligence inspection to determine the asset value less any outstanding liabilities of course. We can initiate in discussions over a nice dinner or sitting on the beach sucking down a slab and chucking the empties at seagulls if you prefer...however I am sure I would prefer not to be intoxicated by anything other than you once it's time to determine that NAV as I am prone to occasional stupidity if under the affluence of incohol, although I'm not so sure domestic beer should even be considered as a consumable beverage. | You certainly could stay on as the MD with executive options but please do remember you will answer to the director's board and may be tied up frequently meeting with the CEO. | That would be me, so....can we talk? | | Please, don't make this a hostile takeover...I can play as rough as you like?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'wowwow11'Hallmark days .. I always forget them..... gets me in a heap of SHIT Reliable response from you LOL. Happy New Year wowwow! Quoting 'tinquabell' but like a champ, I stuck in there and allowed him to continue. Tinqs, I want to know how you decided that this was the worst date. I love Electrocution & Candy, it's one of my favourite chapters from your little book of horror dates and I've never looked at the Sex and Electricity section of a sex shop the same way since you first told it to me... But I could have sworn you have at least half a dozen other, equally fucked up stories you could have contributed to this topic! . . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Goes by several profile names and talks about shit that you would almost feel sorry for her.So one makes an effort for the month or so of relentless messages. When it came time to meet, what can I say, a brink call would have a better conversation with you... and then her stories were just on and on about how miss guided she is, struggles to get by and is a goodbye door mat for the guys in her life... for fuck sake, wake up and smell the crap you speak...northside ally, oxYesSir, and several other profiles for sydney, nth Qld, Adelaide she has... I wish I could have my day back!!!!has anyone spotted other people with numerous profiles, just straight out opposites and liars???There should be a dope in system on this site (are you listening RHP staff???) quit it with the fakes, there are numerous decent people on here for the 8 years I've been on this site (2 to go for my 10 year badge :P)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem'Tinqs, I want to know how you decided that this was the worst date. I love Electrocution & Candy, it's one of my favourite chapters from your little book of horror dates and I've neverlooked at the Sex and Electricity section of a sex shop the same way since you first told it to me... But I could have sworn you have at least half a dozen other, equally fucked up stories you could have contributed to this topic! Whatever do you mean Flirty? Like the time I woke up after a one night stand with seemingly straight 26 year old guy, only to find a Twilight book next to his bed, with a bookmark in it? Or the time I was nonchalantly groping about with my date outside a train station and a whole bunch of guys I went to school with came up to us and told my friend all my not-so-nice high school nicknames AND how I earned them? Or the time where I was supposed to fly interstate and go camping with a guy and instead was effectively hidden in his basement for a weekend and then when I had to return to Melbourne from Sydney, after a horrible few days, my flight was cancelled and I had to take a 12 hour bus trip home instead? The other guy who ejaculated in my face, from about 5m across the room, and landed the vast majority into my right eye which then swelled up so much I could barely see out of it for the next week? Or maybe you're thinking of the one where I woke up for the first time with a great guy from here, we were indulging in morning 'fun', his phone rang and his caller ID showed that it was his dad calling...so he answered the phone while he was still inside me, and multi-taskingly fucked me and chatted away... until he was told that his grandma had died that morning. And who has ever since then blamed me and my vagina for killing his grandmother?Time to embrace celibacy, me thinks! Tink x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was once seeing this girl who used to buy me things. Dinners, movie tickets, candy, coffee, hotel rooms, condoms. Every time there was the expectation of repaying her efforts with hot sweaty steamy sex, usually in a public place, and, like the good little slut that I am, I willingly obliged. Then one night, in a fit of generosity, I invited her out as my treat. We went to a Turkish restaurant, and ordered a giant plate of assorted Turkish meats. No that is not a euphemism for a middle eastern gangbang. So anyhoo, I pay the bill, and she suggests we go somewhere, for her to repay my kindness and generosity with a public blowjob and some hard loving.So, I drive the wagon down to the beach, fumble, tickle, kiss lick diddle, kneeling in the passenger footwell with her legs up on the dash. This car, this, I dunno, car, pulls up right next to us, the elderly gentleman leering though his foggy windows, was quite offputting. So I de-enter my friend, I guess you could say, and decide to drive around to the next parking bay. I'm starkies, and she begins to put her dress back on."What, you don't like a little naked driving? Where's your adventurer's spirit! A little nudie driving is good for the soul!" or something equally stupid. So we drive around the next bend.Booze bus.I freak out, driving up to the police cordon across the road. I hurriedly throw my t-shirt on. She's struggling with her dress, over her head, no knickers. I lay my jeans across my lap, so it looks like they are on. Get to the booze bus."Blow into this sir" Bleep. I'm clean, according to the little robot. "Could you just pull over there sir? It seems your registration has expired."Freak out!So I pullsies overies and a policeman stands next to my window. Sweating, I'm worried that he would ask me to step out of the car. There is a group of motorcyclists that has also been pulled over. One rider says something, the policeman turns around. I hurriedly put my pants on, its like something out of a Jackie Chan clip. Hips lift, legs up, feet in, jerk, PULL, button zip sit down. Phew. My friend is grinning. I'm thinking they'll just get us to sort of toddle off into the darkness, and I'll come get my car in the morning and take it into Vicroads and sort this shizzle out. Another copper walks past. "Hey mate, you're sweating a bit too much there, you on drugs? How about we drag you out of your car into the truck and give you a drugs test?" This is something I REALLY do not want him to do. I look around, mind mile minute. Blink, look back. "Yeah have you noticed my foggy windows, mate? We were just down the beach fooling around, got a bit hot. No big deal."He kind of stops, looks. I have appealed to his testosterone, he grins, the other cop grins, everyone is grinning, my date is grinning, AND blushing, AND trying to morph her cells with the fibres in the seat cover, just sort of sinking into the seat."Yeah no worries mate." He wanders off, to harass the motorcyclists . Phew, dodged a hefty fine there hehe.They take the plates. We toddle off into the darkness. NEVER PAY FOR DINNER. PAY YOUR REGISTRATION INSTEAD.I will never forget this date for the rest of my existence. If only she were prepared to allow some dirty old man watch her get smished in a carpark this never would have happened. I blame her. For everything.RA
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'boombag' well vinnie, where was your shit detector at? back in the country??meet you at the playground. i will bring the sports bag full of goodies and a tarp. classy.now thats a real date!!!!!!!moohahaha Classy indeed!! What time
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RHP User
14 years ago
I know that person!
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RHP User
14 years ago
QUOTING TINQABELL MANUALLY BECAUSE THE RHP SERVER WENT SILLY Whatever do you mean Flirty? Like the time I woke up after a one night stand with seemingly straight 26 year old guy, only to find a Twilight book next to his bed, with a bookmark in it? Or the time I was nonchalantly groping about with my date outside a train station and a whole bunch of guys I went to school with came up to us and told my friend all my not-so-nice high school nicknames AND how I earned them? Or the time where I was supposed to fly interstate and go camping with a guy and instead was effectively hidden in his basement for a weekend and then when I had to return to Melbourne from Sydney, after a horrible few days, my flight was cancelled and I had to take a 12 hour bus trip home instead? The other guy who ejaculated in my face, from about 5m across the room, and landed the vast majority into my right eye which then swelled up so much I could barely see out of it for the next week? Or maybe you're thinking of the one where I woke up for the first time with a great guy from here, we were indulging in morning 'fun', his phone rang and his caller ID showed that it was his dad calling...so he answered the phone while he was still inside me, and multi-taskingly fucked me and chatted away... until he was told that his grandma had died that morning. And who has ever since then blamed me and my vagina for killing his grandmother?Time to embrace celibacy, me thinks! Tink x__________________________________________________________________________________________________Yaay! I am only one of these horror stories! Well, at least you TRIED naked driving...RA
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RHP User
14 years ago
Does that count?
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