F62
Can cheating! Communicate!
October 12 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
too much reading zzzzz
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RHP User
15 years ago
for a Counsellor and "Spiritual" person...you are very judgemental on these "Cheaters"!! I go to a Spiritual Church every week..and never in any of their talks have they judged people, EVER!! The key problem for these people is "Communication"... I used to have an affair with a married man for over 2 years. When he finished his Degree...he came to me to celebrate...when he got shot (he was a police officer)...I had the police come to my door to let me know what happened!! It took alot for him to start having an affair at all, but no matter how much he tried to romance and communicate with his wife...she just turned her back and didn't want to know. "Cheaters" (as you put it)..have to make the very tough decision in the first place to go out and find someone...and I believe that "first" time is the hardest for them! The guilt that racks them...when they feel that it is the only way to get Intimacy and to feel that they are still attractive or needed at all. And as most on here already know...many, many moons ago I used to be a Call Girl...both in brothels and escort. I had heaps of married men in that time and you know what (as I have stated before)...not ALL of them come in for sex!! Some of them just want someone to talk to..to be cuddled...to be heard and actually listened too! I had regular bookings from married men that would book me for the whole night...just to feel wanted and to feel intimacy once again. Now THAT is sad!! You can sit there and have all the "Degrees" that you want...doesn't mean you know Jack Shit about anything. Gawd you sound like my Aunt...just cause she has those same "Degrees" she thinks she knows it all..when in fact...she knows nothing. Living life and living it tough...is the only real experience you get!! A piece of paper means nothing! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
To the Member Downsdarling..From Hon Taipan of Pyrmont... Downdarling does it say anywhere in your submission that you are involved in a relationship? Does it state anywhere that you have been burnt by a so called " CHEATER " ? In the long lists of degrees you have made known to the house , is there a degree of Street Smarts ? Is it possible for you to tell the house exactly where you sit on these matters?
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RHP User
15 years ago
I watched a story about the architecture of Britain. the average person died at around age 25. What a life huh? Such bright shining lives with one chance at love... maybe.. if they were lucky... We're living longer each generation. Sometimes lovers grow together and sometimes apart. All these medieval values thrust upon modern relationships.. Is it little wonder that most relationships do not last "forever"? A lasting relationship is one where both partners know when to turn a blind eye. Much can be said for compassion, caring, understanding, passion, compromise, love and liberty... all of which can be expressed without words. ........... “Speak up for yourselves! Fix it or get out! Either way, you will be better off … and so will your partner because they don’t need you sneaking around behind their back betraying their trust in you. Be honest; be honourable. Make your life better, be happier and, by so doing, you will create a positive ‘flow on’ effect for those around you. Git going!” ................... People are too quick to force their own moral code, developed form their own world view, and their own experiences, without regard for the potential that others might have formulated an alternative, happy and amenable approach that can sustain a relationship extending into those big number years. .... Just sYIN'. HUGS STAlky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Taipan12' To the Member Downsdarling..From Hon Taipan of Pyrmont... Downdarling does it say anywhere in your submission that you are involved in a relationship? Does it state anywhere that you have been burnt by a so called " CHEATER " ? In the long lists of degrees you have made known to the house , is there a degree of Street Smarts ? Is it possible for you to tell the house exactly where you sit on these matters? ...that made me laugh! Jx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think that it is in the individual. No matter how hot some sex lives are, I think some people always want what they cant have and keep looking for something or someone better when in reality it is just a fantasy
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RHP User
15 years ago
It is noted that the member of Springwood has a sense of humour.. All those in favor say yeah !! Those against ..BOO ..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Back in the real world.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
Written and authorised by the standing Member for Camberwell, supporting the vote from Pyrmonts member.... ....ooops, The Member from Pyrmont.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Please when adressing the house ," oops" can be mistaken as human..If you are to carry on with such language ,you will recieve a.. Please Explain notice... As all members know, if you recieve 3 Please Explain notices, you will be required to spend a weekend in Ipswich..
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RHP User
15 years ago
if I may address the house with a question..... Does the weekend include fish & chips? (my comments on the topic...communication is paramount)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Whilst you are intrigued and alittle curious , you are correct in the choice of food for the weekend.. A tour of the local Bowling Club and taste testings at the desalination plant will complete the Please Explain weekend.
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RHP User
15 years ago
for taking the time to disclose the delights to be sampled in Ipswich as part of the penalty for "3 boobies & you are off on a Please Explain" weekend. I trust you are always so upstanding and forthcoming in your communications. Now I havent decided to be good or bad....hmmmmmmm....wonder if scotch is served with the taste tests at the desal plant.......
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am not enjoying our sex life as much as I did before, are you? Yes. I can see how that would work when he staggeres in drunk from the pub and grabs his wife, falls heavy on the bed trapping her beneath him, fumbling painfully and crudely at her breast and mouths those oh so romantic words that every woman wants to hear... "I wanna fuck"!!!!! Gotta love those theories that come outa books.
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RHP User
15 years ago
basically who gives a ....! we all have to face ourselves in the mirror and live with our actions when we pass over to whatever ( I am an Atheiest) we go alone .....so Party on
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RHP User
15 years ago
I wish to thank the Member for Pyrmont and the Member for Camberwell for their support of the Sense of Humour bill. Honourable Speaker, in good faith and working to a 4 minute response to the question, I vote that Pyrmont's 'member' be upstanding in recogition of his determination and dedication within his electorate ;p The Member for Camberwell also deserves acknowledgment for her determination and dedication to her electorate :) Jx
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RHP User
15 years ago
First things first. Back up and lay off, please!! I actually feel quite taken aback at the undisguised hostility in the posts posted so far. I DID say in my very first sentence I respect sincerely the absolute right of RHP members who hold diametrically opposite views to me. I offer you respect and courtesy and I’d really like you to treat me the same in return; being personally attacked is actually very hurtful to me. I wasn’t having a crack at RHP members as people making decisions in concert with their partners to have committed or casual lovers about which the partners know. If you thought that, you did not read my post with sufficient care. I saw a forum recently about how people should read profiles. Yes, it would be nice if people actually read the posts, too, before wading in with gibberish. I met an RHP member once whose woman was perfectly happy for us to play together. I felt perfectly comfortable meeting him precisely because she knew. Gorgeous guy; we had a great time together!! (Hmmm, will reply to his latest email to me after posting this.) So that scenario is just fine, in my book. I’m not talking about couples who agree to play outside the relationship with the partner’s consent and knowledge! My post was mourning the lack of communication in relationships, which I see all the time. Yes, I WAS angry when I typed my post last night because I’d had a client during the day whose marriage has just imploded due to his partner’s unfaithfulness; the fall-out for him, his wife and their kids is massive. I think it’s unnecessary and that better quality communication between the two of them could have prevented the emotional, financial, psychological and spiritual damage which has been done to the whole family. I would have liked to see the wife stick up for herself and tell her man she was unhappy in the relationship. And I would have liked to see him stick up for himself by noticing something was wrong BEFORE she started her affair. I would have liked to see them work on fixing their gig before the whole mess headed to Family Court. The rules of forums are not to defame or vilify anyone and to “play nice”. So far not one single person has done that except Stalky, whose post DID talk about communication in a relationship. Stalky, you have obviously found a great solution based on the communication I was talking about. Everyone else sunk their boot into me without, in my opinion, being fair to me. It was clumsy of me to write in my first sentence “At the risk of being bludgeoned”. Shouldn’t have written that; the vast majority of you seem to have taken it as an open invitation to do precisely that. Such aggressive responses are NOT what I expected from the community (please remember I belong here just as much as you all do. Thank you. That would be great!). The forums are exactly for the purpose of people communicating with each other here; I thought we were going to have a conversation. I didn’t realise people were going to be unnecessarily argumentative. Or go ‘off topic’ to the idiotic extent some of you have. If anyone has taken offence at my use of the term “cheaters”, keep your offence. If someone is fucking someone behind their partner’s back and attempting for their partner not to know about said fucking, yes, that’s cheating, in my opinion. Isn’t it? If it’s not, what would you guys call it? That’s a serious question I’m asking. I’m not smartarse like a lot of you have shown yourselves to be in your initial communication with me. I’m interested in your opinions, not in being attacked. So if you want to address the question without being hostile, I’m interested to know what you think. Here’s the question again for those who didn’t ‘get’ it the first time: Is it better for people to work on fixing problems in their relationship if they are unhappy through quality communication with their partner or better for them to give up on that, stay in the relationship and fuck someone else without their partner knowing? Intelligent, considered answers, please. The people who have turned this forum into a farce waste everyone’s time. NOT cool. Self-indulgent wanking, in fact.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i doubt you are a counsellor at all, dont much care. therapy is about supporting people to make changes to things that they find distressing, things they make the choice to target. your countertransference issues must be huge given you feel the need to judge and preach about this topic. i hope you are under professional supervision or you could be doing a lot of damage to you clients personally i dont play with attached people but that's because it doesnt work for me. it seems that it works for some...and that is their choice to make i hope you find what you're looking for
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RHP User
15 years ago
While I agree that sometimes communication could overcome the need for cheating, I think there are myriad other reasons why people cheat. I would suggest that the most common is related to ego and insecurity - two sides of the same coin. People want to know that they're still sexually attractive to their target market, so the only affirmation possible involves going outside their relationship.Other reasons include sexual dysfunction or other difficulties - for these types of problems, discussion is just as likely to destroy the relationship rather than fix it. Few people are going to be comfortable with a conversation that starts with them being told why they're such a dud root, especially if it's something that they can't control or fix.Underlying everything else is the question as to whether monogamy really is a natural fit for either men or women. At least some publications on Evolutionary Psychology (Robert Wright, 'The Moral Animal') suggest that it's not - monogamy serves both genders equally poorly.Good communication is never going to be a bad thing in a relationship, but I think you're giving it too much credit suggesting that it could stem infidelity. Surely our communication skills have developed over the past millennia - why then do we still cheat? It points to a lack of causality between the two.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Bowing and entering the chamber ,,,,,,,the speaker from downsdarling just needs a realy good MEMBER and then she may be POSITIONED in a much more PLEASURABLE state of mind and the whole debate can just roll over to the next much more Pressing argument of when where and how many ????? Regards the erected member in newengland (thanks for the morning smile people I needed it today) got my mind back on cracks again ha ha ha
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RHP User
15 years ago
thingis if we are talkin about mens ...2 sorts of them...onces who r cheatin regadles how good ttheir sex life with partner is..and other (im in that categ) who do that cause sex life is zero with my partner...but I still love her and wont leave her
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RHP User
15 years ago
If you did really pass your degree and its not just some 2 week course that you can call a "degree" you would know that as a professional it is unethical to judge and generalise that all cheaters are the same! Yes.. you can state that there is a communication problem, but it doesn't mean that it takes one conversation of "good" communication to solve the problem. Lets be honest everyone is different and in your words "cheat" for a different reason, but doesn't it take two too tango? I think everyone can see that your putting your own personal feelings and judgements forward rather than a ethical unbiased view point, it would be interesting to know what your qualifications are as opposed to the vague statements of masters degree (masters in what?) are you a psychologist(if not maybe leave it to the professionals to work with those problems that people want help with out of their own will)?
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RHP User
15 years ago
You got angry after a "session" with these poor people's lives you have put out there for everyone to know. I think that Something_new12 has hit the nail on the head...You obviously have done a short course into this!! I hope that this particular couple are on RHP, so they can "out" you and you will be seen for the horrible, judging person you are!! I do Spiritual Healings and Counselling on people..and would NEVER bring others people's problems on here...even if you didn't name them...you are a disgrace to the profession!!! Also, whatever you put on the Forums...be ready for the backlash as we also have a right to reply with our own opinions!! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Unfortunately your method of communication is longwinded and judgemental. I wonder if the poor folks that you counsel ever get a word in. I deal with guys that "cheat" for all the right reasons. Are you going to judge me too?
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RHP User
15 years ago
LOL!!.....if you want to be controversial you have to expect the shiite storm which comes with it.....BUT anyone should be allowed to speak their truth without nmane calling or over the top agro....but apart from that....Go People!!!! this is a hell of a lot better than 99% of the offerings on tv....tho a tad too Oprah for mine....LOL!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'DownsDarling'Here’s the question again for those who didn’t ‘get’ it the first time: Is it better for people to work on fixing problems in their relationship if they are unhappy through quality communication with their partner or better for them to give up on that, stay in the relationship and fuck someone else without their partner knowing? The "don't ask, don't tell" policy has worked for many years for the Army - I wonder how many marriages it may also have saved? In the event that one partner was uninterested or incapable of sex, might communication create a problem that didn't previously exist? Sex is only one part of a relationship - perhaps by farming it out, the rest of the relationship can flourish independently of it?Is communication always the answer, or can it sometimes be the catalyst for the problem?PS - I do think this thread has been unnecessarily personal - it seemed like a reasonable question to me...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' While I agree that sometimes communication could overcome the need for cheating, I think there are myriad other reasons why people cheat. I would suggest that the most common is related to ego and insecurity - two sides of the same coin. People want to know that they're still sexually attractive to their target market, so the only affirmation possible involves going outside their relationship.Other reasons include sexual dysfunction or other difficulties - for these types of problems, discussion is just as likely to destroy the relationship rather than fix it. Few people are going to be comfortable with a conversation that starts with them being told why they're such a dud root, especially if it's something that they can't control or fix.Underlying everything else is the question as to whether monogamy really is a natural fit for either men or women. At least some publications on Evolutionary Psychology (Robert Wright, 'The Moral Animal') suggest that it's not - monogamy serves both genders equally poorly.Good communication is never going to be a bad thing in a relationship, but I think you're giving it too much credit suggesting that it could stem infidelity. Surely our communication skills have developed over the past millennia - why then do we still cheat? It points to a lack of causality between the two. At last some rational analysis. Of course having sex with someone outside a relationship doesn't have to mean the end the relationship. There IS too much emphasis on monogamy in our society. If we weren't all so hung up about it, then more of us would be sluts and ... therefore, I say, less stress and of course, world peace. Imagine all the people living for today. No need to kill or die for.. and no religions too.The ask no questions tell no lies strategy is ancient. Why muck up a good system?HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Is a two way street. When we are talking sex and relationships it is going to, by it's very nature, get emotional and the communication will end in a slanging match. If all it took was communication then why is the divorce rate spiralling? When people get hurt, emotions are involved, conversation and rationality goes out the window. In an ideal world we would all be able to communicate rationally but the world is not ideal. We are not all the same. That is what makes us human. Even if we are communicating who is to say it is effective? My perception of what you are trying to say could very well be different to the meaning you are trying to portray. What one needs to do is to realise that it is easy to love more than one person at a time. There is also a difference between love, like and lust, being in love and loving someone. It is easy to love someone and yet lust after another. It is easy to love two people and lust after a third.The lust, in no way diminishes the love you may feel for the first two people. What makes this so wrong? The rules that "society" place on us? Why do we who live in a monogamous society condemn those who would rather have multiple partners? It is, after all, the religious ceremony that includes "forsaking all others". Many people do not possess the necessary skills for quality communication and after years of emotional, physical or sexual abuse by thier partner, the one who says he loves her, just after he has punched her, cannot see what the point would be in discussing it at all. Nothing is going to change. Just walk away, I dont want to talk about it any more!!!!! After years of someone constantly harangueing you, the sound of their voice is enough to raise your hackles. You dont want to talk. You just want to be left alone to heal.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'DownsDarling' First things first. Back up and lay off, please!! I actually feel quite taken aback at the undisguised hostility in the posts posted so far. I DID say in my very first sentence I respect sincerely the absolute right of RHP members who hold diametrically opposite views to me. I offer you respect and courtesy and I’d really like you to treat me the same in return; being personally attacked is actually very hurtful to me. I wasn’t having a crack at RHP members as people making decisions in concert with their partners to have committed or casual lovers about which the partners know. If you thought that, you did not read my post with sufficient care. I saw a forum recently about how people should read profiles. Yes, it would be nice if people actually read the posts, too, before wading in with gibberish. I met an RHP member once whose woman was perfectly happy for us to play together. I felt perfectly comfortable meeting him precisely because she knew. Gorgeous guy; we had a great time together!! (Hmmm, will reply to his latest email to me after posting this.) So that scenario is just fine, in my book. I’m not talking about couples who agree to play outside the relationship with the partner’s consent and knowledge! My post was mourning the lack of communication in relationships, which I see all the time. Yes, I WAS angry when I typed my post last night because I’d had a client during the day whose marriage has just imploded due to his partner’s unfaithfulness; the fall-out for him, his wife and their kids is massive. I think it’s unnecessary and that better quality communication between the two of them could have prevented the emotional, financial, psychological and spiritual damage which has been done to the whole family. I would have liked to see the wife stick up for herself and tell her man she was unhappy in the relationship. And I would have liked to see him stick up for himself by noticing something was wrong BEFORE she started her affair. I would have liked to see them work on fixing their gig before the whole mess headed to Family Court. The rules of forums are not to defame or vilify anyone and to “play nice”. So far not one single person has done that except Stalky, whose post DID talk about communication in a relationship. Stalky, you have obviously found a great solution based on the communication I was talking about. Everyone else sunk their boot into me without, in my opinion, being fair to me. It was clumsy of me to write in my first sentence “At the risk of being bludgeoned”. Shouldn’t have written that; the vast majority of you seem to have taken it as an open invitation to do precisely that. Such aggressive responses are NOT what I expected from the community (please remember I belong here just as much as you all do. Thank you. That would be great!). The forums are exactly for the purpose of people communicating with each other here; I thought we were going to have a conversation. I didn’t realise people were going to be unnecessarily argumentative. Or go ‘off topic’ to the idiotic extent some of you have. If anyone has taken offence at my use of the term “cheaters”, keep your offence. If someone is fucking someone behind their partner’s back and attempting for their partner not to know about said fucking, yes, that’s cheating, in my opinion. Isn’t it? If it’s not, what would you guys call it? That’s a serious question I’m asking. I’m not smartarse like a lot of you have shown yourselves to be in your initial communication with me. I’m interested in your opinions, not in being attacked. So if you want to address the question without being hostile, I’m interested to know what you think. Here’s the question again for those who didn’t ‘get’ it the first time: Is it better for people to work on fixing problems in their relationship if they are unhappy through quality communication with their partner or better for them to give up on that, stay in the relationship and fuck someone else without their partner knowing? Intelligent, considered answers, please. The people who have turned this forum into a farce waste everyone’s time. NOT cool. Self-indulgent wanking, in fact. What you got Downdarling was a response, obviously not the one you wanted, but none the less, a response. Although I do note that Stalky scored full marks ;p...the rest, including me, clearly disappointed you. Oh well...can't please everyone ;P / So.....have you maybe thought about why ppl went off topic? Have you looked at the responses? Maybe, the question held somewhere in your 758 word original post was lost to a moral bias and personal issue? I am making assumptions and judgements here...or maybe it's just an opinion...who knows! / You know, if you had just picked up on the Speaker of the House banter (the word 'speaker' derived from your OP)...and asked the question again as the Member for North Toowoomba...people would have responded to your question. It's a bit intimidating to have someone spout their qualifiactions AND expertise on a social sex site. I think your question was valid but your approach was authoritive rather than democratic. How can you expect a range of participation if you think you are right and everyone else is wrong? (LOL...I laugh at myself here). And really, where is your professional ethic for client confidentiality??? Not a good advert for people who may have been thinking about couselling for relationship issues.... / We can't control what others say or do - as Snow said, sometimes a situation needs to implode for communication to occur. Blind eyes and deaf ears - sometimes people get tired of living in a void. Jx (...an opinion)
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RHP User
15 years ago
I prefer less talk and more action :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
VERY mean and unfair of xFunLovingx to call me a disgrace to my profession. That jibe REALLY hurt. No, of course the people I referred to whose marriage has gone AWOL are not RHP members; I would never talk about people who are users of this website. (I don't ask my clients if they use this, or any other, website but if I DID know they were RHP members I would never refer to them.) That WOULD be unethical. They are just people I know. I didn't name any names so why am I called a disgrace to my profession? The situation to which I referred is very common in our society. And yes, my Masters degree is in (I hate to say it because I'm aware I will now be even more the laughing-stock of this forum) ... Communication Management, Sociology and Psychology. It was a three-year degree, not two weeks. I did it after two previous degrees iin allied disciplines which took six years full-time to complete. I remember my thesis supervisor telling me I'd be a good counsellor because I'm so empathic and feel other's pain and would like to help them get over it. I thought that was supposed to be a good quality in a person? To care about others? I volunteered at LifeLine Sydney for two years on top of full-time work precisely for this reason. My supervisor there 'promoted' me to the suicide shift 10am Saturday nights to 10am Sunday mornings because she thought I had sufficient skills to help people in crisis using a combination of active listening and information provision. VERY unfair of DominaT to say "Unfortunately your method of communication is longwinded and judgemental. I wonder if the poor folks that you counsel ever get a word in." That jibe really hurt, too. A session is two hours and I ask questions and the clients respond; a good counsellor speaks less than 90% of the time; the rest of the time is very active listening to hear what is NOT said. There's super-specific training in this field as there is every other field of work. If the post is too long for you, don't read it. I have read some very long posts on this website and thought forums were our opportunity to express ourselves. The rules don't say "Keep it short for those who don't like long posts". I had only written one or two comments in forums before and thought I would like to feel more part of the community by starting a topic. Really wasn't prepared for it to get personal. I DO think the attacks were over-the-top. Obviously funny for others to read, though. Thanks to the people who contributed serious responses. I appreciate that and it was interesting reading your thoughts. Sorry I didn't think to reply as the Member for North Toowoomba; I didn't follow the jokes about fish and chips in Ipswich. It felt like that was by-play between RHP members who had already met each other so I couldn't join in as I didn't know the people concerned. Here's a good question. Why am I judgemental whilst others are contributing their opinions? What's the difference? (On second thoughts, a rhetorical question. Don't answer that!) I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. I didn't mean to. And no, not writing because I've been hurt by someone cheating on me. If they have done so, I don't know about it!! My final comment: I type paragraphs with lots of 'white space' between them to make them distinct and easy-to-read. Then when they appear on the forum, they are all squeezed together which makes the post look long-winded. I don't know how the formatting changes between me pressing 'Post' and the RHP administrators vetting my contribution. So we agree on one thing: the posts ARE difficult to read!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Seems i may have started this FUN..Member for DownsDarling..sorry if you have been offended by the members in the house in anyway.. Yes this is a safe and friendly enviroment for all to play, but you did say your asking for our opinion, in effect you were using us , asking our thoughts on cheating yadda yadda yadda..Well you know we are all different and we express our own opinions.. No point in bullying to get the answer that suits your case..We dont know the people you counsel , so how can we then make judgement or assit you with your topic.. In general how would you not recognize that there are people on the site that are cheating ..but that is their business ..Any of us could of had sex with someone who was pretending to be single , but hey it is a sex site..Are we to ask first " before we go any further in need to ask are you cheating ?" Maybe you should have said you were angry when you wrote the topic so we knew your state of mind..No point in giving us 10 or so paragraphs of how people who cheat disgust you and there is no excuse in your book !! We answered your topic in a fun way ..The way you communicated it was like a headmaster, what room did you give us to express an opposing point of view..I saw none so i thought lets have some fun !! Again Member for DownsDarling sorry if you took offence, i will take responibility for my actions and i will spend a week in Ipswich..
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RHP User
15 years ago
Snowshoe has already covered points I would have thought obvious to anyone with any Pysch education. Stalky as ever puts his point across with his usual aplomb. Liked funlovins reply as well. You asked " I’d like to find out why some members cheat on their ‘significant other’, as the popular term is these days. Why cheat on your partner? Why not communicate with them? " My answer..we have spoken about it and my wife has no libido. I need the fulfilment that comes from intimate sexual encounters. I don't flaunt it in her face, so in effect I am cheating . “Speak up for yourselves! Fix it or get out! Either way, you will be better off … and so will your partner because they don’t need you sneaking around behind their back betraying their trust in you. Be honest; be honourable. Make your life better, be happier and, by so doing, you will create a positive ‘flow on’ effect for those around you. Git going!”. We have children, grandchildren,financial responsibilities and difficulties. In seperate households we would both have little quality of life.We couldn't afford it anyway. What about the emotional turmoil caused by a split relationship to all family members Someone in the chatroom asked me if I was happy having sex with another mans wife. I am responsible for my actions and mine alone. I can accept responsibility for what I do and I expect the same of others. Yes I feel guilty at times but I don't assuage myself of it by telling my wife and making her feel terrible. My choice..so I live with it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Perfect practice makes perfect. There is no value at all in practicing, practicing, practicing....if all that practice is incorrectly performed. There is value in an independant view, offering suggestions on how to perfect your practice. I did make the comment that Communication is paramount.....and would like to clarify that as well... Effective Communication is paramount. Effective communication that is applicable for the situation at the time. Best to resolve the situation so all parties can move on with their life, either as a more balanced couple or enlightened and ultimately happier indivuals. As the one guilty of taking the Hon Member of Pyrmont's member in hand and running with it,(no offense was intended to Downsdarling) seems it is only fair that I, the Member for Camberwell, join the Member for Pyrmont for the aforesaid mutually enforced, week of exile and fish & chips in Ipswich. The Member for Springwood would be welcome to join us if she so chooses. woohoo!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Miss Darling Downs, I note a statement "in my book", is this all a ploy to get us whackos to buy your book and cowtail to the preachings of the darling of the downs. I certainly hope that your book is not full of highlighted words such as would, will, etc because that is going to put most off, unless you have included pictures of how you would, will, accept, bendover backwards etc. I get your point. Can the cheating and start communicating. I am on your side on the cheating issue but as with most educated idiots you start by stating you have all these degrees and you just do not understand that you alienate the whole room. The person who gives good advice after listening to others problems is more likely to be listened to themselves if they do not introduce themselves as Miss Dble D, abc, cumwhatever, bsi, bsa. Get your point across with out the hysteria and hoity toity rubbish is all I am saying. I am sure you are a wonderful women somewhere inside the castle you are building around yourself. Oh well, that's off my chest . Now looking at yours I am guessin you have plenty to get off there as well. LET IT RIP
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RHP User
15 years ago
Heres my vent off my chest..... I;ve never cheated on any bloke do the whole totally devoted to you and every time get kicked in the g....ts whyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm faithful adore any guy I'm with and they cant handle it and run a mile.... grrrrrrrrrr but then they dont tell you they have now that one really takes the cake
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RHP User
15 years ago
If ya dont want to be with someone just say dont waste their time and yours by playing games with their hearts and their lives. Can proudly say have never cheated on any man I was with now will I ever... My next lil beef if you dont wnt to knwo someone anymore why not just say it.... Its really not that hard to do.... Tired of putting my heart on the line only to have it stomped on.... Cheaters at the end of the day and my ex was one so speaking from personal experiance here you will have your day.... nothin surer
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why are so few people who oppose DownsDarling's opinion explaining what they disagree with and so many people attacking her personally? All this crap about questioning her qualifications and motivations is a pain in the ass and it sounds to me as though some of it is driven by guilty consciences. Give the girl a break! It was a decent question, I thought.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have always been a bit of a cheeky rogue, I enjoy playing with matches, and sometimes 'permission' spoils all the fun of being naughty.Way back in the day I was a bad boy and certainly lived it up as hard as I could - and working around the Sex Industry meant there was no shortage of opportunity, and I cheated like crazy... the thrill was multiplied enormously.These days I have mostly reformed, but if I feel tempted to skip across the border into tiger country, then me and my short term paramour will both know the score.Just two simple rules - 'No one misses a slice off a cut loaf', and' there is no tomorrow'Judge away if you feel so inclined, but personally why would you care? if it isn't to your taste, you dont have to eat it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have copious amounts of kids in my care. When I make all the school lunches in the morning, if you have swiped even ONE slice of bread...I will know and I will miss that slice of bread. But that is because I am pedantic and aware of the resources available to me. It also means a trip to the supermarket at 6:30 am. NOT HAPPY! I agree with you though as cheating is the thrill of the forbidden. I do not cheat when in a serious relationship, but that is my choice. I have friends who are married and they cheat. That is thier choice. There are many and varied reasons whythey do cheat. It is okay for those of you who have not been in the position they are in to judge them and I have debated this topic ad infinitum on another recent forum thread so will not reiterate what I have already posted. This thread deals with communication issues and Snowshow I have already dealt with why it is hard for people to communicate 12 postings back The biggest issue is emotions. In the breakdown of any relationship there are going to be hurt feelings. Many of us are not adult enough to rise above these hurts, either real or imagined, to communicate effectively. The breakdown of a relationship is not unlike that of a death. We need time to grieve before we can talk about it. By the time the infidelities have been noticed, the damage is done, the feelings are hurt and it is usually just too late for any effective communication. As to why we are attacking Darling Downs personally, speaking for myself it is because her question is couched in such pompas, holier-than-thou, I-know-better attitude that smacks of book learning and forgets real life stiuations. Like I said at the start of this posting .....Back in the real world.....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'This thread deals with communication issues and Snowshow I have already dealt with why it is hard for people to communicate 12 postings back...As to why we are attacking Darling Downs personally, speaking for myself it is because her question is couched in such pompas, holier-than-thou, I-know-better attitude that smacks of book learning and forgets real life stiuations. Like I said at the start of this posting .....Back in the real world..... I completely agree that communication won't solve everyone's issues - I've said that from the start.As for DD, if her opinions are misguided, surely it would be more productive to provide a different perspective than to run her into the ground? Looking back through this thread, there have been some quite nasty things said about her, though not necessarily by you.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Having been away for a week (well from the forums and through my own choice) I had to have a quiet giggle at the use of political terms and memebers of particularly when related to the area in which the OP resides....why??? Because I do happen to know the Hon Member for Toowoomba North and the Federal Member for the Darling Downs personally and no I dont mean the OP but the real people that represent these seat in parliament (both state and federal)...ahhhh....must pass on what is being said to both people involved 1 of which I know would find all of this amusing....lol Kisses Focus
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RHP User
15 years ago
bought a smile to my dial, like religions in away, some that do some don't, and no matter how much you jump up and down, every one is different, like bringing up children, we all know a better way, sure every one would ideally love an open honest relationship, some people, well most would rather cheat, more naughty or something, who knows, good luck trying to save the masses....hmmmm
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