M41
Are women's standards too high?
May 21 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
it's a matter of our standards being too high AzzadD but more about we can't help who we are and are not attracted to. And that can be for a lot of reasons short and slim to a woman can be a little confronting, speaking from experience it makes me feel big and clumsy lol, and thats not sexy for me. I very much believe that there is someone for everyone, but there may not be multiples of it, if that makes sense?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Some women... | Quoting 'dontgothere' I very much believe that there is someone for everyone... | ...fall all over themselves for guys in their 20's. | | At least I didn't call them "Cougars".
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RHP User
15 years ago
You just havent found yours yet. I bet Bill Gates was not the most attractive or popular person in his school either. But hey, all those that turned him down are now kicking thier arses. If the girls are gonna look at you like something nasty they just stepped in then they are not the ones you want to get to know either. It is usually the very attractive, slim, gorgepus, popular creatures that do that to a guy and that is because they have an over inflated idea of thier own importance and attractiveness. If that is the case, maybe it is your standards that need adjusting. Go talk to the mousey, shy little moth over in the corner. Offer to buy her a drink. I bet she is way more fun than those gorgeous butterflies surrounded by guys.
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RHP User
15 years ago
You just haven't found the right woman mate..I met a woman last night whilst at a engagement party, she has 5 kids, lives in Parramatta.. her friend mentioned to me that she is only interested in 22-25 year old guys for long term relationship.. I giggled wished her luck and went got another drink.Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Some women.. | ...fall all over themselves for guys in their 20's. |
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RHP User
15 years ago
Interesting, Quoting 'dontgothere' it's a matter of our standards being too high AzzadD but more about we can't help who we are and are not attracted to. And that can be for a lot of reasons short and slim to a woman can be a little confronting, speaking from experience it makes me feel big and clumsy lol, and thats not sexy for me. I very much believe that there is someone for everyone, but there may not be multiples of it, if that makes sense? I agree, what 'dontgothere' said does make sense, we cannot help who we are attracted too, and as unfortunate as it is, there is that initial physical attraction, take my partner 'K' for instance, height and hair (on head) are very important, but there are several other factors as well, confidence is huge, when we have been out on the town it is the 'confident' (not to be mistaken with 'arrogant') guys that get her attention, interestingly though the single biggest deciding factor is the eyes. For me, I find beauty in many physical attributes of a woman (does this make me easy, probably...lol), but I do have some things like K, that are the clinchers, the most obvious one is...a particular smile, cannot explain it, but when I see it, I will warm to the owner to no end, fortunately K owns the most amazing smile I have ever seen. Just wanted to say I can see how the feelings associated with height for K are similar to the feelings you experience with regard to short n slim, honestly the though on how it makes her feel had never really occurred to me until now, I just took it at face value. So thanks 'dontgothere' for the insight into the ever mystifying world of the wonderfully complex female psyche AzzaD84 Forum (particularly the female gender) please correct me if this does not have some element of truth in it, but I do believe how people (particularly guys) 'Sell themselves' on here is a big contributing factor. Whilst 'dontgothere' has mentioned how she believes 'there is someone for everyone', just not 'multiples', which is a fair call; I honestly believe confidence (as I have already mentioned) is a significant factor, seriously if a woman had the choice between a charismatic, confident man who highlights, concentrates, advertises his strengths, compared to a guy who is lacking in confidence and thus cannot see his strengths therefore concentrates on discussing his flaws; I’d be fairly confident that there would be no prizes for guessing which way she would go. Check out all the, many many many (did I mention many ;-) ) guys profiles on here, or even check out the guys profiles that have been accepted as friends on the woman’s profile that you find attractive, I would wager that there would be certain level of confidence portrayed in their profile; now admittedly there is the Psych argument that physically attractive people draw the attention of others, and thus is this because they are attractive and thus have that confidence, or are confident and thus are seen as more attractive, there are arguments for both sides; but even a ‘confident’ less attractive guy will still spark the interest of someone over a ‘lacking in confidence’ less attractive guy. My point being, sell your strengths, not your weaknesses, simply leave your weaknesses out of your profile; treat your profile like you would your resume or a job interview, you may mention a weakness only if in the end it contributes towards highlighting a strength elsewhere. If you’re going to put up pics, bright happy, well focuses groomed pics from your complimentary angle (I have several female friends who know of their particular pose/ angle and will take a hundred pics to get that one shot), dark blurry pics will only hinder not aid your cause. There are those out in cyber land that are attracted to, and thus seek, intellectual/emotional strengths over physical attraction; unfortunately sites like RHP, in the most part, tend to have a focus on the more physical/sexual crowds. Gunna stop now because this is starting to get way to long and chances are you, and most other forum readers, won’t get to this sentence…lol Hey, head up, chin up and remember this, patience, patience, patience, it will happen, but only if you work it, work it, work it. It took me 17yrs and one failed marriage to find my Ms Right. Good luck.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Some women... | Quoting 'dontgothere' I very much believe that there is someone for everyone... | ...fall all over themselves for guys in their 20's. | | At least I didn't call them "Cougars".Dammit, if I get an influx of new young messages now, I'm forwarding them on to you to explain
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' You just havent found yours yet. I bet Bill Gates was not the most attractive or popular person in his school either. But hey, all those that turned him down are now kicking thier arses. If the girls are gonna look at you like something nasty they just stepped in then they are not the ones you want to get to know either. It is usually the very attractive, slim, gorgepus, popular creatures that do that to a guy and that is because they have an over inflated idea of thier own importance and attractiveness. If that is the case, maybe it is your standards that need adjusting. Go talk to the mousey, shy little moth over in the corner. Offer to buy her a drink. I bet she is way more fun than those gorgeous butterflies surrounded by guys. Spot on re the hotties vs mousey's. The only thing I'd add (and this is just my POV, 47 and still single so no expert, me), is try to relax (and this is not easy when you are putting yourself on the line), be yourself, and not to go in dwelling on the self perceived 'short comings' that you list: Looks Schmooks, surely you have seen very attractive women with guys who aren't in any respect oil paintings?One thing women are not attracted to though, is insecurity or apologetic behaviour, so don't have either: easier said than done I know when you want to meet someone- and that goes for all of us, women included (worth bearing in mind when you feel down about some aspect of yourself - many women beat themselves up internally in exactly the same way, usually over stuff that you or I wouldn't think about in a million years - they're just better at not letting on). You are aware of all your positive attributes, take pride in them. If you value yourself, you can just be yourself, others will respond to that.O, and it's a marathon, not a sprint, so don't sweat the short term setbacks.G'luck dude
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yes, women's standards are too high. I want to meet lots and lots of women will low levels of morality and higher levels of depravity damn it!HugsStalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
i want to meet ppl for sexy fun so why do you have to have standards high for that. its silly crap
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was just trying to help you out, DGT...but if it becomes overwhelming, do let me know? | Quoting 'dontgothere'Dammit, if I get an influx of new young messages now, I'm forwarding them on to you... | I am happy to respond to the females that I am sure will "influx" your in box...and you can feed on respond to all the cubs I am sure will take note of a more mature hot chick that really really does like younger guys. | Guys...really, it's true.
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RHP User
15 years ago
You'll keep you bugger
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Yes, women's standards are too high. I want to meet lots and lots of women will low levels of morality and higher levels of depravity damn it!HugsStalkyJust how damn low do we have to stoop Stalky?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well to be truthful , why would a girl want to play with a fat or obese ulgy guy , I reserve the right to choose who I want to play with
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RHP User
15 years ago
I will give it to you straight up, most women will make a big song and dance about it is the personality yada yada, but you have to get to that point first........sooooo unless your hot......your screwed and not in a good way......short and sweet....end of story!Join the French Foreign Legion, become a woman hater, pay for a prostitute.....no point in moaning about it.Fact is Men are much more forgiving of womens shortcomings than women are of mens.Cheers Nev.....I said most dammitt.....just getting that in, in advance.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Yes, women's standards are too high. I want to meet lots and lots of women will low levels of morality and higher levels of depravity damn it!HugsStalky You mean you're not already Stalky? Talk about illusions being shattered. I had you imagined as the God of RHP, women throwing themselves at your arse, begging for you to have your way with them. Had me thinking of that Eddie Murphy video, Raw or Delirious I can't remember which one, "Exscuse me Sir is that yours" "Whoops, yeah it just fell out of my pocket." . Seriously. AzzaD84 Twointwo1 is spot on. Work your strengths. . Let's me not write a long post for once. Yay! . Just realise that RHP widens your net much further than just who you see at the local pub/club.... But it does for the women too. . Cheers and good luck. . Rusty Damnit. Still too long.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' You just havent found yours yet. I bet Bill Gates was not the most attractive or popular person in his school either. But hey, all those that turned him down are now kicking thier arses. If the girls are gonna look at you like something nasty they just stepped in then they are not the ones you want to get to know either. It is usually the very attractive, slim, gorgepus, popular creatures that do that to a guy and that is because they have an over inflated idea of thier own importance and attractiveness. If that is the case, maybe it is your standards that need adjusting. Go talk to the mousey, shy little moth over in the corner. Offer to buy her a drink. I bet she is way more fun than those gorgeous butterflies surrounded by guys. Are you saying they would have found Bill attractive or popular if they knew he was going to have money later in life? Or that you could begin a relationship with someone you don't find attractive if they are rich? I think THEY'RE the girls Azza doesn't want to get to know. There's nothing wrong with being attractive, slim or gorgeous - I'm sure those girls can be just as much 'fun' as the mousey shy girl. Next thing we'll have someone telling Azza do troll through KFC because fat chicks have more personality (c'mon, we've had enough threads that indicate personality and kgs are related in a linear fashion) and are easier to pick up. . If a girl looks at you like you have two heads when you talk to her... suck it up and move on. There is someone for everyone, hopefully more than one, because there's no fun finding that the only one for you has mousey hair, a back so hairy you could plait it and lobsided breasts....
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'fionabee' You just havent found yours yet. I bet Bill Gates was not the most attractive or popular person in his school either. But hey, all those that turned him down are now kicking thier arses. If the girls are gonna look at you like something nasty they just stepped in then they are not the ones you want to get to know either. It is usually the very attractive, slim, gorgepus, popular creatures that do that to a guy and that is because they have an over inflated idea of thier own importance and attractiveness. If that is the case, maybe it is your standards that need adjusting. Go talk to the mousey, shy little moth over in the corner. Offer to buy her a drink. I bet she is way more fun than those gorgeous butterflies surrounded by guys. Are you saying they would have found Bill attractive or popular if they knew he was going to have money later in life? Or that you could begin a relationship with someone you don't find attractive if they are rich? I think THEY'RE the girls Azza doesn't want to get to know. There's nothing wrong with being attractive, slim or gorgeous - I'm sure those girls can be just as much 'fun' as the mousey shy girl. Next thing we'll have someone telling Azza do troll through KFC because fat chicks have more personality (c'mon, we've had enough threads that indicate personality and kgs are related in a linear fashion) and are easier to pick up. . If a girl looks at you like you have two heads when you talk to her... suck it up and move on. There is someone for everyone, hopefully more than one, because there's no fun finding that the only one for you has mousey hair, a back so hairy you could plait it and lobsided breasts....Feel better now you got that off your chest JG
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Are you saying they would have found Bill attractive or popular if they knew he was going to have money later in life? Yes "they" probably would have IF they had known how things were gonna pan out for Mr GatesOr that you could begin a relationship with someone you don't find attractive if they are rich? Not me JG. Dont make it personal I think THEY'RE the girls Azza doesn't want to get to know. There's nothing wrong with being attractive, slim or gorgeous - I'm sure those girls can be just as much 'fun' as the mousey shy girl. I am sure that SOME of them are...but it does seem that those are the girls that do think they are all that . However we did have a topic a few months ago in a similar vein and it did turn out that the guy was only interested in the girls that were surrounded by all the guys and not in the mousey little ones in the corner.Next thing we'll have someone telling Azza do troll through KFC because fat chicks have more personality Are you smoking something a little strange tonight? No one was suggesting any such thing(c'mon, we've had enough threads that indicate personality and kgs are related in a linear fashion) and are easier to pick up. . If a girl looks at you like you have two heads when you talk to her... suck it up and move on. There is someone for everyone, Did I not say that in my opening line or two? hopefully more than one, because there's no fun finding that the only one for you has mousey hair, a back so hairy you could plait it and lobsided breasts.... In who's opinion is she no fun? Are you saying you would not like someone based onthier looks alone? I hope not...especially as you have just attempted to lambast ME for that very same thing!!!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Poor young OP. Life is a bitch and then.. blah blah.One post here touched the issue most important. The thing that turns a nerd to a man, the young boy to a stud. It brings you friends, lovers, and a smile.Its simple confidence. Be proud of who you are, stand tall, dont hold back a view> Speak what you feel not what you think you need to say. This will not get you any woman you want but as you say you have had no luck, confidence should soon see you busy as a beaver. Confidence is the primary attraction, looks, size, money come second to someone that feels good and is fun to be with. So put the fuck factor out of your mind. Dont give time to thoughts of what they might think. When you have learnt to turn away from a lady because she is a bore, not worth your time. You will discover that being a proud and confident man is what ladies cant help but want.Your post is full of negatives. Stop and never write or think those things again. Dont compare your self to others. Show me a perfect man and ill go find a snow flake in hell, and present it as a prize to the perfect woman.. Concentrating on negatives returns only the negative, focus on the positive and you get more then you could want.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'CarlosSpicyWienr' Fact is Men are much more forgiving of womens shortcomings than women are of mens.Cheers Nev.....I Bullshit Nev, women put up with lots of shortcomings from their boys! What's with all the woman bashing lately - and I don't mean just you Nev. ;) Seems like the boys of RHP forum are having a super whinge lately. What's up with that?xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
a good wank won't fix Meeks
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Are you saying they would have found Bill attractive or popular if they knew he was going to have money later in life? Yes "they" probably would have IF they had known how things were gonna pan out for Mr GatesOr that you could begin a relationship with someone you don't find attractive if they are rich? Not me JG. Dont make it personal I think THEY'RE the girls Azza doesn't want to get to know. There's nothing wrong with being attractive, slim or gorgeous - I'm sure those girls can be just as much 'fun' as the mousey shy girl. I am sure that SOME of them are...but it does seem that those are the girls that do think they are all that . However we did have a topic a few months ago in a similar vein and it did turn out that the guy was only interested in the girls that were surrounded by all the guys and not in the mousey little ones in the corner.Next thing we'll have someone telling Azza do troll through KFC because fat chicks have more personality Are you smoking something a little strange tonight? No one was suggesting any such thing(c'mon, we've had enough threads that indicate personality and kgs are related in a linear fashion) and are easier to pick up. . If a girl looks at you like you have two heads when you talk to her... suck it up and move on. There is someone for everyone, Did I not say that in my opening line or two? hopefully more than one, because there's no fun finding that the only one for you has mousey hair, a back so hairy you could plait it and lobsided breasts.... In who's opinion is she no fun? Are you saying you would not like someone based onthier looks alone? I hope not...especially as you have just attempted to lambast ME for that very same thing!!!!! Actually I was lambasting you for implying that Bill was only unattractive and unpopular until he became rich. That concept doesn't sit well with me. You can't buy personality... to some extent you can buy looks. Bill hasn't though. So he remains unattractive... as for his popularity - well 3/4 of a billion computer users run Windows... and I reckon most of them hate him. So he's richer but technically much less popular now than at high school. . Please don't act so surprised when I agree with something as basic as 'there is someone for everyone'. Erm... congratulations - yes you did say that *claps*. . Would I not like someone based on their looks alone? No. I have plenty of ugly friends - they are important because they make me look more attractive. What I am saying is that if Azza doesn't find the mousy girl with lobsided breasts attractive then he shouldn't settle for her as his 'one'. Attraction is an important part of a sexual relationship.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Bullshit Nev, women put up with lots of shortcomings from their boys! What's with all the woman bashing lately - and I don't mean just you Nev. ;) Seems like the boys of RHP forum are having a super whinge lately. What's up with that?xxMeeka I sulk, pout and pull the most helpless little puppy dog face. . Cheers . Rusty
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RHP User
15 years ago
xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm so going to get beaten down for this. Some advice to help you...Go and get your eyebrows shaped. They overpower your face and make your eyes look tiny. If your lower neck/back is hairy (and it can be seen through shirts) go and get that waxed too. Hairy girls go through this shit all the time to go out and pick up, and guys need to do the same primping and preening.For your profile on RHP, remove your main profile pic (you look like a hairy 10 year old) and the creepy fedora pic. Get a mate to take of well lit pic of you and smile in it! Put some of your personality into your profile, do NOT use the profile builder.Looks aren't the most important thing but as someone above said, you still need to get in the door!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Meeka you look pretty hot and no man should bash you up i know i wouldnt do it.Duck Me
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Duck_Me' i want to meet ppl for sexy fun so why do you have to have standards high for that. its silly crap Perhaps it is the hat........kinda hard to take it seriously.......(shrugs)
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RHP User
15 years ago
PBG Wish I had your cojones !! xxMeeka
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RHP User
15 years ago
No, I'm fine thanks...what would I want with your old leftover anyway? As if you would highgrade them and pass me the real duds? | Quoting 'dontgothere'You'll keep you bugger | My intentions were only good and for research purposes only...you know, take a few pictures and send them off to the National Geographic. | Psssttt...want a bag of popcorn and a coke? I think quite a few people have the vapours and the arguing is about to start. Have a seat next to me and we can talk about the good stuff while they are crapping on about Bill Clinton and Hillary and Monika. That is who they are talking about.. | ...or did I come in late in the show? | | Come on, lower your standards, I am not that bad...wanna sit on my lap?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Girl'I'm so going to get beaten down for this. Some advice to help you...Go and get your eyebrows shaped. They overpower your face and make your eyes look tiny. That is half arsed advice PB. And useless unless you have a plan for relocating the colony of possums living in them. :D
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RHP User
15 years ago
Then my suggestion would be to find a look closer to your age bracket, hair and clothing along with a bit of manscaping (as per PBG's suggestion) you're only 26 , but the full fringe is giving me a whole Roy Orbison thing backed by those sunnies. You look like you're hiding, and I guess that fits in with the confidence issues others have addressed in previous posts.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ready for them... 1. Confidence 2. A great sense of humour 3. Don’t make yourself too available But everyone is different and what works for some is a turn off for others. Confused? That’s what makes it so much fun! If you're worried about your build try P90X. As for relationship building... an old sales tool. Let people talk and actively listen. People love talking about their life and if you listen to them and take it all in they immediately think you're someone they'd like to have around. Let’s face it, we all love to talk about ourselves right? Or... We have a friend that walks up to every woman at a party and asks "do you wanna get with me". He gets shot down 98% of the time but he rarely goes home alone. You have to give it to the man, he is consistent!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' PBG Wish I had your cojones !! xxMeeka And I do hope OP hasn't taken my comments the wrong way. There IS a cute boy under that hair and eyebrows, the second pic shows the potential. However it's a vain superficial world out there and you need to present the best possible you. There's no point in being funny and intelligent and kind and sweet if you're just missing out because someone is bypassing you before you even get to open your mouth.Everyone can talk about how you're just not finding the right girl etc but you need to be at least talking to them to have a chance!DGT has it right too I think. Do you have any friends that are girls? Ask them for advice on changing your look. You don't have to go overboard. I mean, if you're a geek then you'll always be a geek (using this an example as I don't know if you are or not) but you can funk it up a little whilst still being true to yourself. There are plenty of girls go for geeky boys (I know because I'm one of them).Pro-activ is great for skin problems (if you have skin issues?) I have a friend who's face has cleared up substantially since using it.If you do some work on yourself I think it will work wonders for your confidence even if you don't get instant lady results. And confidence is TOTALLY where it's at.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I do reasonably well with the ladies. Find some to be JUST FRIENDS with. All my friends are women which gives me the advantage of learning the way their minds work. Start with someone from work or a sisters' friend. Just be casual, yourself and I can't stress this enough FUNNY. If that doesn't come naturally learn it. That will help you in everyday life not just with the women. Also dress for success, clothes go a long way in the attraction game. It doesn't have to be expensive but it should be reasonable quality. YD, Connor etc.... Get a woman to take you shopping. This is the perfect time of year for a tie. Throw on a dress shirt, tie, jeans and a leather jacket. It works for me. If all that fails leave the country an accent works wonders. I'm originally from Canada.Cheers
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RHP User
15 years ago
At my age sweetie, I have had enough men in my life to be "selective", and that is the word I like to use, instead of saying my standards are too high. You will have to face the fact that yes, there are some girls who are just too picky, there are some girls who think they are God's gift to women and like to intimidate men and look down on them, some girls like to make men beg because they think they have the power, and there are all kinds of reasons. Well, you dont want those kind of girls anyway. But being selective is just a natural thing, and men are exactly the same. There has to be that chemistry between you, and you have to "click" together. If it's not there, it just won't work. Some men have standards too, and some men have high, very high standards, and they should take a look at themselves before setting standards too high for women. Some men are very shallow... but then again, some women are the same. That's life sweetie. Just hang in there and keep trying. I am selective, but I am not shallow to judge a man on looks alone, and I certainly will give him a chance to put his best foot forward, but if the shoe doesn't fit... it just isn't going to happen. Good luck!
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