F51
Actively seeking...but
September 25 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
hi. i have read this post and your other post about meeting guys in the nt and i have often thought of messaging you but im a married guy so that rules me out which brings me to why im sending this response. i do feel for you being single as was in that boat for many years untill i met my wife so i understant how you feel and your frustration. Looking over your profile i feel that you may be trying to hard in finding that special guy. It seems to me and i could be wrong that you have a vision of the perfect guy in all departments and are looking for him but im afraid that he doesnt exsist in that form. he does exsit so dont give up the search like i almost did. He exsists but in ways that you might think. i had an idea of what i wanted in a wife both in looks and in personality and i discovered that when i met my wife that it didnt matter about all that it just mattered that we mattered. that we had that special bond. the kind of bond that you cant write down as criteria or list in a what im looking for section in a profile. its something that just happens and when you least expect it too. so my advice is work out what you love doing the most in life like a hobby or lifestlye choice and look for someone that has that same interest. for me its my nudist lifestyle. i love being naked but the previuos relationship i was in ended when they found this out so i stopped hiding that and was upfront from the word go and you know what i found my wife. now we both love the lifestyle and have that as our common bond and that to me is what makes for a sucessful relationship. hope that something from all this can help you out. you do seem like a top girl that one day will make a guy proud. just a pitty that your not bi as we are looking for a girl like yourself to be part of our lives. seeya andrew
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RHP User
15 years ago
Frack_ME. Was reading your profile and its just a little full on. I read it and thought dam, am i going for a job interview. Its nice to know what you want and to go for it, but try wording a little differant. just the way i see it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
For your point of view. However... I think you're being a bit niave regarding the other guys on this site... You may be polite... But a lot are not. I tried a nice fluffy profile a while ago... All it got me was arseholes and weirdos coming out of the woodwork.... All sorts of rude and offensive messages that as a lady... I'm not interested in. Sexy talk I'd fun... But blatent smut is not fun. So I guess by being so strict about what I'm after... I weed out the dumbnuts and nasties.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I ve seen how guys act on this site and others in chat as well as the club/pubs. If i was a woman i would be very picky too. Little niave in hoping that guys would have a better up bringing towards woman. Not just wanting to stick a cock in them or try to chat them up with ur "pritty, lets fuck" or " i want to do bad things to you". Guys these days lack romance. i get this is a dating site and you got to shovel the shit around before you find a rose.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I re-read my profile, thinking maybe I was being a bit harsh...but I'm not.... so I think I'll keep it a while longer and see what happenes....
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jezebel_jj
15 years ago
You must be confused Bear_26. This is in fact NOT a dating site, it is a sex site with the emphasis on broadening sexual horizons with people who are of the same mindset as yourself both (location-ally) close to you or farther away.If you want a dating site i would recommend maybe match.comFrack_me. Its hard to say with your profile. I do agree a little with Bear_26, it is a bit much. I love that you are letting all guys know exactly what your after, but in saying that, most men might also feel a little put-off thinking they dont measure up to some of those qualities. Im of the firm belief that if it were me looking at that list, i would feel that any surprises or little personality quirks that you may have as an individual are already revealed, like an already opened present! Im also of the belief that since this is a SEX site, not a dating site that the list of what you are "Looking for" doesnt really gel with the message this site promotes. If this were a Dating site, with the intention of finding true love (if such things exist) which may lead to marriage/family etc i would say your profile is top notch! For a sex site maybe not exactly copacetic.Most men on this site, will have not just this site in their "bookmark" listing but about probably 3+ other sites as well. At a guess i would say the majority of men on RHP are looking not for love but sex, very plain, very simple and a very basic desire. For most men who are past the puppy dog/attachment/"pat me and ill love you forever" phase, love comes with time and understanding, having sex does not constitute love (or love making) in most men's eyes. So in saying that, men (boys for the most part) a lot of the time may come across as smutty and vulgar in their messages because they truly do not care about the person they are sending the message to. All they are thinking about is the quickest, most hassle free way to lift your skirt. Frack_me, you state very plainly that you are a lady, if this is true, than what are you doing "in the lions den". Most of us, men and women alike are looking for more, far more. Romantic (emphasis on romance) meetings/dates are a little tame for most of us.You could take the notion that romance is dead, i dont believe that at all. Romance is very much alive, i just think you may be barking up the wrong tree, using both romance and this site together.As a bit of advice that was given to me by a much wiser person than myself, "dont go looking for love, love will find you".
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RHP User
15 years ago
So the fact that you put your mouse over the redhotpie logo is comes up "" Adult Dating"" or google search well what do you know comes up again. or serch options, social or intermit meets or my fav that when you get to the home page on the bottom ""RedHotPie is a premier internet dating site "" Are you sure your not a little confused yourself ? :D
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jezebel_jj
15 years ago
the term Dating: is a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. I think this is the standard. So from the point of view of arranging a meeting with another person/party it is a dating site. But it is definitely not a standard, traditional style dating site. I think that was the point i was attempting to make. Yes i stated it wasnt a dating site, because in my mind it really isnt. I should have said that Red Hot Pie is primarily focused on physical relationships and casual encounters. Where more traditional style dating sites look to love and relationships.Im not confused, i was attempting to draw a distinct line between RHP and for example Match.com, emphasising the differences between the two. I think Bear_26 your being a little pedantic about my previous statement and have missed my point entirely! When the emphasis of this site is predominately physical relationships and casual encounters, as opposed to love/relationships, it definitely reinforces the idea that it is more of a sex site than not. I think anyone who treats RHP as a traditional style dating site is fooling themselves.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Todays opening statment for dating is brought to you by Wikipedia. lol But serious, lets just enjoy the site for just what is without trying to lable it to death.
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RHP User
15 years ago
is open to both personal and public interpretation. It is a bit of both, more of one than the other to some and none of one to others. I just happen to be looking for a bloke that enojoys sex as much as I do... I've tried "dating" sites, and the men blow more smoke up a girls arse than the American Indian's smoked peace pipes....mosre blokes from those sites ask for sex on the first date than any others. I went on a date today... with a nice guy...so sex might have been something we both thought about, but will still went out socially and enjoyed each other's company. He was charming and nice and brought the popcorn. We sat in the dark theatre, watched a great flick and felt the sexual tension build. Maybe thats all I want right now... but I sure as hell am not gonna proclude meeting a nice guy who I click with from this website as someone I want to spend more intimate times with, just because it's not a traditional dating site... thats a bit judgemental...don't you think?
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jezebel_jj
15 years ago
I wasnt saying you should preclude anything. Im glad you met someone and had fun and that he broke the mold so to speak. But as I stated in previous posts the underlying or ulterior motive behind the majority of people on this site is predominately sexual and that traditional forms of dating/courtship is overlooked.People who feel beleaguered by this site because they were not in the right frame of mind before joining and putting their hard earned cash into their profiles, have to understand that people who are in the right frame of mind can come on very strongly. People will come across as assholes and jerks it is an unfortunate side effect to this site.I know I'm a soft touch when it comes to meeting people and i just go with the flow, but there are many people here that dont take that road and go the "Right here, right now" philosophy.Frack_me; you could say judgmental. I would prefer the term "cynical and realistic". People have ulterior motives usually driven my selfish actions/thoughts and that is human nature. Also if all your looking for is a "Bloke who enjoys sex as much as you do", they're a dime a dozen in the NT. Unfortunately your profile doesnt state that, it states a whole bunch of other stuff which might turn some guys off.
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RHP User
15 years ago
the reason I don't pay to use this site.... or any others.... Boytoy... my profile is perfectly clear in terms of what I wants... and I think it's quite clear in stating that I'm after a bloke who can keep up with me....and what I expect... it's a list of the attributes I admire in a bloke... doesn't have to be all of them...maybe just some.... just like you guys won't come near a chick who doesn't fit your physical idea....and do not lie to yourself thinking that you don't have a type.... everyone has a type that they are attracted to. The real fact is that seeking perfection, or our perfect match, is a fantasy in itself... but we delude ourselves into thinking that we can find that perfect person... I'm not perfect, but I'm looking for someone that fit's me perfectly, compliments my good, accepts my bad and forgives me my imperfections... my perchant for good food, sleeping in and action movies non-withstanding. That can happen with a random shag, a friend with benefits or someone who wants to be more to that with me... And what is wrong with having a preference for men who smell good, are well mannered and know how to treat a girl... in and out of the bedroom... that opinion in itself is very judgemental... call a spade a spade; all you have done is pass judgement...dress it up anyway you want to...but, as a teacher, I know what the difference is. All this thread was about was asking guys their opinions about what attracts a guy to a girl on line....not about me personally and my profile... I take critical feedback but not unwarrented judgement on who I am and who and what I want to invite into my life.
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jezebel_jj
15 years ago
Quoted from Wikipedia: Males tend to place significantly higher value on physical appearance in a partner than women do. Women, on average, tend to be attracted to men who are slightly taller and who have a relatively narrow waist and broad shoulders. Men, overall, tend to be attracted by women who are slightly shorter, have a youthful appearance and exhibit features such as a symmetrical face, full breasts, full lips, and a low waist-hip ratio.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractivenessSo in response to online attraction:As you dont know the person behind the profile all you have going for you is what you look like, so what attracts a man to a women online, purely and simply is how good looking they are.
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RHP User
15 years ago
mmmmmmmmmm...Days of our lives...all we can say "one man's meat is another man's poison"
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi Frack_me, I have just come out of a 6 month acquaintance, I use this term as I dont think it was long enough for a relationship,. I know exactly where you are coming from and I totally am in agreeance with you, I have copped it as well, I am looking for not just sex but have tried, the nice, naughty and just plain smut entries and still get the same replies. I am not a lesbian but I cannot put a photo up either due to my work, but I would like to meet you and talk as I am lonely and would like a friend. I am a very discreet person and as I said I am not a lesbian or looking for sex with you just want to get out again and meet new people but not alone. Let me know if you would like to meet for coffee or drink
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RHP User
13 years ago
Frack_me, did you end up finding anyone on this site? I have been through a few sites, and haven't yet found one that has anything to offer. Just curious if you are getting any luck here.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And this post is what... Two years old now. I've had a lot of window knockers and some guys who wanted to try before they buy... Difference is having lost a shit load of weight. I mean masses. My life at the moment is gym, work, gym, does my arse look good in this, are my hamstrings starting to pop. Sounds silly probably but my focus has gone from what I didn't look like to what I do, and it's made me realise something... If a guy doesn't like me for me, faults and all... Despite the myriad of awesomeness that I possess, too bad. We all come with baggage. Mine happens to be a hyper increased sense of self and old fashioned values. It might mean I'm alone but it sure as hell ensures I have self respect. So what if I believe in romance? What's wrong with that? A guy can be assured I'm faithful and not chatting around behind his back. So in answer to your question PTK, I haven't found anyone yet. Hope springs eternal, however.
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RHP User
13 years ago
From reading this post, I get the feeling that you are consumed by your appearance and while I congratulate you on your achievements, obsession about your appearance can be unhealthy. I understand as I have been there done that. Men are more visual and they base their instant desires on attraction, women to are attracted to men but they sometimes can look beyond and be attracted to the most unlikely looking person based on their personality/charisma alone. I have found that if you are still not happy within yourself then you give off that vibe to others whether male or female, why then would those people find you attractive in any way. Who would you prefer to hang out with, the happy engaging interactive personality or the enclosed withdrawn personailty obsessed with their appearance. I can say for sure that when you stop desperately searching for something or someone in particular then surprisingly they come into your life.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm obsessed with my appearance.... Because men are visual, and here in Darwin unless you are perfect, you don't get anywhere.... But I'm obsessed with feeling happy and not only with my appearance. After years of being fat... And rejected by men and women on the friendship front...I can finally meet people on equal footing rather than being made feel by others that I'm less than because I weight more... So please, don't tell me I don't have a right to be picky about what I look like. Everyone else is...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am a noob to RHP, but have been about the traps so I will throw in my two cents.... I feel chatty.It has been interesting to read one woman's trials in the romance scene that darwin has to offer. Well done on finding your gym mojo and getting yourself fit and healthy in both body and mind, Go you!I do have to say that I do concur with icall in that you get back what you put out, and that things come up when you least expect them.I was in the same anti-self mindset for ages and felt like no one could stand to look at me. Then my life decided to flip the hell out and I had to really rely on myself to get through months and months of weird, twisted shenanigans. As I did more things I never thought I could I realised I was made of more than I had ever given myself credit for. I started to believe it, and hey presto... So did everyone else!I am curvy, but have come to embrace it and like who I am, because I am a great and good person. I am sexy as hell and do awesome things that drive people wild. I dont think myself arrogant or shallow for saying so and dont feel that my shape means I have to keep that information under wraps like a secret. This confidence radiates out of me and I am meeting people I never thought would like me in a million years and realising that everyone has good and bad days.My point I guess is to show that regardless of the size you are or how much you do to try look perfect, the kind of guy you want will love you as a person, the package will just be a bonus. Keep on your awesome gym track and making yourself super fine, just dont forget who you are as a person counts for much more!Gooood Luck!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have to agree with above. Love yourself for who you are. Eventually someone will come along and will love you also. There is a lot of rubbish out there and it is a long swim to find the right fish....... We are a couple who love relationships with single girls and other couples and are always looking for friendship as well as fun. We have one girl in particular who we really want to get to know and want her to start opening up to us. She knows who she is and we hope she will start to relax with us. We will see what happens.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is really interesting to hear about the womens mindset and how they feel about searching for dates and all the trials and tribulations. It is indeed a myth that any women can just have any guy they want and be eternally happy. I imagine the majority of people on here aren't always upfront with their intentions or a little too upfront. Either way it doesn't help you now does it.I lived in Darwin for 4 years and moved here to Alice Springs 3 years ago. I am heavily into running and have since learnt there were a bunch of girls in the running club and tri club up there that liked me but were all too shy to come up and say so. I had a girlfriend at the time but even so......I think some genuine people are too shy to be upfront and ask someone out for fear of rejection. Still thankyou for initiating this interesting convo.;......and awesome stuff with the gym. Keep it up.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just depends on what we want from them. Or what they want from us. I for one don't want to use or be used. Maybe the residual effects of being used by men, and not wanting it to happen again. I also hate rejection, so maybe I am dumb and miss the signals men throw out there. Someone needs to write a manual for men. You guys are hard! As for gym... It's the stress release. It's the awesome feeling of watching my body shape change. It's watching the hot blokes in the mirror. It would just really nice to find a cool bloke to share that with, do stuff with and wake up with, cook breakfast for... Sigh!
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